


I Need you to Know

by ggggggggg



Category: Ghost (Sweden Band)
Genre: Angst, Anxiety Attacks, Anxious Copia, Car Accidents, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Slow Burn, for the feels ya know, i just wanted an excuse to give Copia the big sad honestly
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-19
Updated: 2021-03-12
Packaged: 2021-03-14 19:00:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 23
Words: 56,992
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29546910
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ggggggggg/pseuds/ggggggggg
Summary: After losing everything in a barn fire, Lyza signs up for a free class sponsored by a church to learn to make necessary repairs. As she gets to know the secretive instructor of the class, she learns that the more about himself he lets slip out, the less she knows about him.Same like universe? as The Journal of a Horseman, but is completely readable on its own.
Relationships: Cardinal Copia/Original Female Character(s)
Comments: 41
Kudos: 31





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello and thank you to anyone who reads this! It is a somewhat self indulgent thing I wrote over the past week of being stuck at home in this crazy ice and snow here in Texas. I hope y’all enjoy it :)

“Shit!” I yelled in disappointment as my last water hose just broke off the spigot. I was doing my normal night routine watering the animals and I had pulled just a  _ little _ too hard on the hose. It, like many things around, here was on its last leg so I could not honestly say the break came as a surprise. 

With a huff I unclipped Bugs’ bucket and carried it over to finish refilling it where the hose  had been connected, which by the way, was now splashing everywhere. As I waited for the bucket to fill I looked around, making a mental list of all the shit that needed fixing. The damn landlord was absolutely useless when I asked for at least an allowance to help get repairs done to make it livable. 

I’ve been here for weeks already and more things were falling apart by the day. It was frustrating. I wouldn’t even be in this situation if it wasn’t for the fire that took the modest farm that I inherited from my grandparents. I couldn’t afford to be picky either. Having lost everything but what I had with me, money was tight. I got hired part-time waitressing at a local diner, but I spend the majority of my paycheck on feed and the rest trying to hold this place together.

At work earlier, one of the other waitresses who I’ve come to consider a friend, Sarah, told me about a series of classes that will soon be offered to the general public for free at the small college in town, and the more I think about it, the more I am tempted to sign myself up. I looked them up earlier on my phone using the WiFi at work and found a two part ‘Intro to construction’ class starting Monday on the list, promising ‘hands on projects’ for beginners, which would be perfect for me to learn how to start doing some of these damn repairs on my own- saving me the cost of labor.

Hooking Bugs’ bucket back up, I threw him a flake of hay, leaving just the goats to feed and water before I’m done for the night. I squeezed my way into the gate of their pen to check the water level in their trough. Theirs was too big to simply  _ carry _ over to the spigot so I’d have to make a few trips with buckets now. My mind fills with dread just thinking about it. You’d think after all these years of carrying water buckets around it would’ve gotten easier, but it’s still one of my least favorite chores.

Finally heading back into the small and equally run down apartment attached to the barn I made up my mind. I decided I would go in a little early tomorrow and sign up for that class before it filled up. 

I dug around the small kitchen for the can opener and a spoon, pulling out a can of Spaghetti O’s for tonight’s dinner. 

_ If you would work you stupid stove I could heat this up and maybe it wouldn’t taste so shit,  _ I glared at the stove that refused to turn on without a sacrifice to the appliance gods, kicking it for good measure before I sat down at the table and ate the Spaghetti O’s straight out of the can. 

The sound of the spoon running against the ridges on the inside of the can was the only sound in the room. That was the one good thing about this place. It was quiet. 

———

While I was waiting for my shift to start the next morning I started filling out the paperwork online to register for the class. 

“Morning Sarah!” 

“Morning bitch! What’cha up to?” She greeted me as she clocked in, the ‘bitch’ being that friendly banter between friends. 

“I just finished signing up for those classes you mentioned, gotta get that place fixed up somehow, right? You gonna sign up for any too?” I asked her on my way to clock in as well. 

“Nah, I’ll let you try em out, see if they’re even worth it. Let me know how it goes though.” She had to walk away to take her first table’s orders before she returned and continued, “and I keep tellin’ you I’m more than happy to go help out!” 

This time we both went our separate ways before meeting again at the drink station.

“I might take you up on that actually, last hose busted last night and it’s pretty shit carrying a million buckets of water back and fourth yourself, you know?” 

“Yeah, yeah I feel ya, done it myself a time or two,” she laughed and our conversation paused for another few minutes as we both started taking orders out. “Next time we are both off text me, we can hang out and I’ll help you for a while and maybe we can catch dinner, just let me know!” 

That was just about the extent of a conversation we could get in before we got slammed, at least being so busy made the day fly by. Having felt my phone vibrate with notifications in my pocket at the end of my shift, I stopped before going home to check my emails. Mostly spam and junk mail but there was a ‘welcome to the class’ confirmation email in the mix. I opened it up and read over the details. 

_ Intro to Construction  _

_ 4pm-6pm MWF  _

_ Instructor: C. Copia _

_ Please be prepared to show ID upon arrival to campus.  _

_ For your safety be sure to dress appropriately: No open toed shoes or excessively loose clothing/sleeves.  _

_ Supplies needed: notebook and writing utensil _

_ All other materials provided during course.  _

The instructions seemed straightforward, and I was actually beginning to feel a little bit excited about it. I used to enjoy school well enough, but never actually finished college since I was busy trying to fill out my WPRA permit. Going back to class would be a nice change, even though it was just one. I waved bye to Sarah and took off, I needed to find a notebook and still had to feed for the night before I could even think about showering, dinner, or preparing myself for Monday.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lyza goes to her first day of class and reports back to her friend

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another pretty short one

Monday had finally rolled around and my shift had just ended, leaving me just enough time to make it to the school by 4:00. I was thankful for the fact that many of the regular students of the school had their classes early in the day- it left plenty of parking spaces open and I was able to pull in near the building. I checked the room number one last time before I walked in, there was nothing worse then walking in  then  finding out you were in the wrong room. 

There were several people already sitting scattered around the room, all around the big tables that indicated this may be used as a science classroom during the day. 

There was a man with long-ish slicked back wavy brown hair wearing black pants and a somewhat out of date cream colored long sleeve that I presumed must be ‘C. Copia’. He was sitting on the front of the desk watching people as they walked in, bobbing his foot, with a old 80’s style boom box playing ABBA softly on the desk behind him. The man, looked to be maybe in his late 30s or early 40’s, and simply exuded ‘ _Old Man Trying Desperatly to be Cool_ ’ energy, so I hoped it meant he would be a laid back instructor. 

A few minutes after four, he pulled out an antiquated pocket watch, checked the time, and hopped off the desk. “Good evening everyone,” he said with a small bow, “how are you doing? You eh, you feel good?” Came his somewhat awkward-Italian accented greeting to which the class responded in the affirmative. It seemed mostly everyone in the was similar in age to me, 25-30 range and from the few minutes I’d seen them so far, were pretty chill people. 

“So, shall we start with names, then?” 

I tried to make a mental note of who was who as we went around the room, briefly introducing ourselves making it back to the instructor who was nodding and appeared to be trying to save names to faces in his mind, last. 

“Cool. Cool.” He was clapping his hands together softly, thinking before he continued, “And you all can just call me Copia, don’t worry about titles and all that formal shit,” he gave a dismissive wave as he said it before he realized what he just said. “Eh sorry, sorry, I hope I don’t offend anyone- I can be-I can be somewhat eh... foul mouthed sometimes.” He was looking down and wringing his hands together for a minute before he snapped out of it. “But if you’ll forgive me for letting it slip, I will return the favor?” 

The class seemed to like this deal, and murmured amongst themselves. From there on out the first day went smoothly, he began teaching us first the proper methods for writing down measurements and the like, the important foundation kind of material we all needed to know before promising that he would have at least something small for us to get our hands on next time. 

“Oh, and if anyone needs anything here is my number,” he wrote a phone number on the board, “You can text or call whenever, but I can’t promise I’ll respond I’m still a bit eh, shit at working these things.” He said sheepishly holding up his phone for a moment. 

_ Dear lord, that man acted like my grandmother did with technology and she was in her nineties _ _,_ I thought to myself as class was dismissed and I gave him a polite wave and a thank you on my way out. 

All in all, it seemed like it would be an interesting class and even though he was a little strange, I liked the instructor too. I think he means well. I made it all the way to my car before I realized I meant to ask him about replacing hose spigots. I’ll have to be sure to ask Wednesday. 

I just made it home when my phone buzzed. It was a text from Sarah.

7:10 Hey how’d it go

7:11 It was interesting, I’ll have to tell you tomorrow, gotta feed

7:11 I’ll be there a few minutes early then once we clock in you know how it goes :/ 

7:12 see you tomorrow

Putting my phone on the charger, I changed into my dirty barn clothes and got to work. Once I got everyone fed and watered I pulled Bug in from the turnout brushed him off and threw my saddle on, I could tell he needed some exercise, and if I ever wanted to get back to rodeoing we both needed to stay in shape. I trotted him down the dirt roads around the property until the light of the sun disappeared behind the horizon before heading back and turning in for the night. 

—

Sarah was already waiting for me when I made it to work. I guess a few minutes early for her was more than a few early minutes for me, it looked like she had been waiting for a while, half empty cup of coffee in front of her. 

“So? How’d it go?” 

“Pretty good actually, everyone seemed pretty cool, around our age and nice enough. We didn’t like,” I vaguely gestured with my hands, trying to think of the world “build? Anything yet, but he said next time he’d have something for us.” 

“Anyone there Id like?” She asked playfully. 

I ran through the faces in my mind, and a couple might fit her preferred description, “Uh I think so, a couple at least. Don’t ask me names though, I have no idea.” I laughed. She knew I was terrible at keeping names straight in my head, so she understood. “Oh and the instructor was cool too. Or well,  not cool enough to actually be cool, you know? Like those teachers in high school that try to be ‘hip’ that suck at it but mean well?” Sarah nodded. “So imagine that but sprinkle in some cuss words, that’s him.” That comment sent both of us into a fit of laughter on our way to clock in. 


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lyza stays late

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!

The second day of class was just wrapping up. Today as promised, we were all shown a few different types of wood as Copia explained how some are ‘soft’ woods and some are ‘hard’ woods. He had even brought a couple types of screws and had us try screwing the different types of threads into each piece. The finished product ended up looking like a weapon out of a horror movie. 

As everyone filed out, I stopped to ask my question. 

“Hey Copia?” He stopped packing his supplies back into the bag he had brought with him. 

“Yes Miss eh....” I could see the cogs turning in his brain as he made a circular gesture with his hand near his head while he tried to remember my name, “Lyza, was it?” He asked timidly. When he turned, I noticed that his eyes were actually two slightly different colors of green.  Unique,  I thought. He must’ve noticed me looking and his gaze went down to his hands before continuing, “How- how can I help you?” 

“So to make a long story short, I need to fix, or probably replace actually, a hose spigot in my barn like-yesterday, do you know how would I go about doing that?” The nervous look on his face made it seem like I had just scolded him for something so I continued. “Or do you have any advice maybe?” Why a simple question about a spigot seemed to scare him was beyond me. 

“I eh, I don’t have a lot of experience with the... plastic pipes, is yours plastic or metal?”

I thought for a moment, it was definitely metal, and I replied as such. 

“Cool, cool.” He took a deep breath before continuing, “You will have to find where the broken piece connects to the water line that feeds it. In the case of a spigot we would source them from pipes a ways below the ground.” He tried to explain with gestures before he decided to step over to the board to try to draw it. “I am a shitty artist, I’m sorry, but the metal ones- they would screw together at the connection so you will probably have to dig it up and follow the pipe down, you’ll need a male end,” he pointed at his pretty poorly drawn diagram as he said this, “and unscrew it-those fuckers like to rust too, and you eh” he made a twisting motion with his hand, before looking back up at me. 

“That’s it?” I don’t know why I thought it would be way more complicated than that, like having to figure out how to cut the metal and fix it or weld even. 

“ _Questo è tutto_ , ” he replied with a shrug. I guessed that meant something along the lines of ‘thats it’ in Italian so I thanked him and started to leave before he called after me. 

“If you need anything,” he waved his phone in the air, then his hand “Enjoy your night.” 

_ Next stop: hardware store.  _ I was pretty sure I had enough in tips today to buy a piece of pipe and a hose fitting so I stopped on the way home and picked up what I hoped was the correct thing. 

After I got everyone fed and watered I went to look for the valve to shutoff the water to the property. I knew that much at least. The property was on a well so it wasn’t too difficult to find, thankfully. 

Just like he said, once I dug it up, the pipe appeared to screw into a fitting on the source. Unfortunately also just as he said, I could not get the damn thing off. I tried everything I could think of before giving up and looking up his number in my phone. 

8:21 Hey, sorry to bother you-you were right about the rust. Any wisdom on how to get it off? 

After another few minutes of struggling I felt a buzz. 

8:29 This is Lyza I am guessing? No bother try longer wrench for

8:29 more torque

8:30 If that doesn’t work hit the joint with something it might loosen. 

Another thing he was right about: he was really pretty  shit at texting. 

Finally having managed to get the damn pipe off the rest was pretty easy, even for me. I had the hose fitted back on in no time after that, feeling so proud of myself I decided to send him a picture of the finished product. 

I pulled the hose into Bugs’ stall and topped off the water, taking a picture and sending it to him with a thank you. Having use of the hose back already made that class worthwhile in my opinion. This time he replied quickly. 

9:03 Very nice, definitely easier than carrying buckets. Will see you Friday. 

I chuckled. He sounded like he spoke from experience. I sent a text to Sarah next. 

9:10 So that class is already paying off, got the hose fixed, now when you come over next we don’t have to spend the whole time hauling water around lol

I pulled out my customary can of whatever was in the pantry for dinner while I waited for her to reply. 

9:13 fuck yeah 

9:14 that’s what I said 

——

Throughout the next morning at the diner Sarah and I talked between the endless interruptions. 

“So you sure you don’t wanna sign up? I bet he’d be fine with it, we are only a couple days in and he doesn’t seem to be the strict type,”I asked her while I poured a customers coffee. I much preferred the classes I had with friends when I was in school so this would probably not be any different. 

“Didn’t you say there was only a couple of good lookin’ guys in the class? You know I’d only be goin’ for the scenery, Lyz’” 

I laughed, “Well it’s better than the zero that are here, you know?” 

“What about the teacher guy? Is he cute? Gotta keep the mind focused somehow when you don’t give a shit about the subject!” She ran out an order quickly before returning to where I was making some kid a  _ milkshake _ for breakfast. 

“Uh, I don’t know.” I shrugged. “He’s not bad to look at I guess, if that’s what you’re asking. Brown hair-kinda wavy, green eyes, weird like 1940’s mustache with sideburns. It fits him though.” 

“Ooooh like what’s-his-name from Gone with the Wind?” 

I scanned through the outer banks of my memory to before I remembered the visage of Rhett Butler. “Sort-of yeah. But I don’t think he had sideburns.” 

“Wait do  you  like him?,” she eyes me suspiciously, “I don’t think I’ve ever heard you call a guy good looking,” she continued before teasingly giving me an elbow to the ribs. I laughed again. She was ridiculous sometimes. 

“Hey, hey, did _I_ say that or did you just  _ hear _ that because you’ve been trying to play matchmaker for me ever since I got here?” The kitchen threw another of my tables’ order into the window as several more groups walked in. 

“Welp, lunch rush is here, see ya on the other side!” We both turned to go greet our next parties and before I knew it, I was in my car on my way home, with my shift over. I was really not feeling my normal dinner in a can, and decided to splurge on a small burger and fries off the dollar menu at the towns local fast food joint. With the first bite memories of late nights and early mornings hauling with my rodeo buddies and stopping at whatever random-ass fast food places we could fit our rig into flooded my mind. I sure missed those days, and I found myself suddenly feeling a strong melancholy that only going home and caring for the animals could erase, so I did just that. 

“Hey Bug, do you miss the arena lights as much as I do?” I talked to him as I cleaned out his decrepit stall, something I found myself doing frequently since I didn’t have many others to talk to these days.  _ Damn, I need to fix this fucking door too _ _,_ I thought at the stall door that was so crooked on its hinges the latches no longer lined up without it being lifted- same as all but one gate on the premises.  Maybe Copia knows an easy fix , I wondered and quickly pulled out my phone. 

4:36 Hey, you said we could text you anytime right? If not thats okay, I totally understand but I just have a quick question. 

I didn’t expect a nearly instantaneous response, so I was somewhat shocked to see my phone light back up before I even put it back in my pocket.

4:36 Of course, how can I help?

4:37 Got any tricks for fixing crooked doors? 

I took a picture of the stall door slightly open to show how crooked it truly was and sent it over. 

4:38 No tricks, just needs to be reheated 

4:38 Rehung, sorry, this phone changes some words when I type them for some reason. 

At that, imagined him sitting like a grandpa in an old rocker holding the phone five miles from his face, squinting at it like it was an alien.  _ How can this man be living in the 21st century and not know what autocorrect is,  _ I laughed to myself before replying 

4:40 Damn. Would re-hanging doors happen to be on the schedule anytime soon? 

4:41 No, not for a while, I am very sorry. 

I was back in the house before I saw he sent another text after. 

4:42 If you would like I do not mind trying to walk you through it before or after class? 

4:45 I’m sorry I don’t mean to sound like a creep. 

I hoped he didn’t think I was offended or something by not replying right away, I hadn’t took the offer that way at all. 

5:11 No no, you’re fine I didn’t take it that way at all! No need to apologize, and I might just take you up on that offer if you are not busy. 

5:12 Oh thank the lord, I was afraid I already managed to make one of my students hate me, and it hasn’t even been a week. 

5:13 I am definitely not busy, maybe busy back home, but there is not much to do here, except for prepare for the next class to be honest. 

I wondered what he meant by ‘back home’ but I figured I’d save that to make some conversation tomorrow. 


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lyza has some car trouble

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies for formatting errors etc and thank you for reading.

Friday was uneventful. Both at work and the class itself. Today Copia was showing everyone how to read various schematics, insisting it would be important if any of us intended to continue in the field after the course. From brief conversation with some of the other classmates, some of them did plan to do so, wanting a way out of this boring town and were using the class as a ‘foot in the door’ to the industry. It was understandable, really. A somewhat rural town in the Midwest is not the place for everyone. I mean, it wasn’t like one stop sign small, we did have the regular stuff, a movie theater, small shopping center, a few restaurants, the college of course, but most of the people living here made their meager living farming and ranching. It made me wonder what Copia was doing here if he wasn’t  from here, which judging by his accent, he obviously wasn’t. 

Just like last time, I stayed after as everyone filed out. This time he addressed me first. 

“So eh, you’ve got a- a sagging door?” He asked, pulling a chair for me over to the opposite side of the desk before gesturing for me to sit. His slightly-different shade of green eyes met mine for a moment before he looked away, like the eye contact made him nervous. How he didn’t seem to have that problem during class if just one person bothered him I had no idea. 

“Many sagging doors, actually. Gates too. Whole place is pretty shit to be honest.” I confessed. 

His brow furrowed, and he looked lost as he asked, “What-what do you mean? The whole place?” 

“The place I’m leasing. My landlord is about as useful as a hole in a bucket when it comes to  any  sort of maintenance, and I need stuff in working order to be able to function, obviously, so it falls on me, you know? That’s why I signed up for your class, I want to get it fixed and I can’t pay for someone else to do it so,” I told him with a shrug. 

“Oh. Well that’s- that’s eh,” he fumbled for words again, so I filled in for him, 

“A shitty situation, huh?” 

“Yes.” 

We talked for probably the better part of an hour, mostly about the repairs I needed to get done, and I ended up telling him why I was there in the first place- I could tell he wanted to ask but must’ve been afraid it would offend me. He had written out some instructions on a sheet of paper for the stall door as well, using a fucking _fountain pen_ of all things, and on our way out I remembered I meant to ask him what he was doing in a town like this. 

“Hey, Copia?” 

He stopped abruptly and turned, “Yes?” 

“I almost forgot to ask you, you mentioned not being from here in your text the other day, and you’ve got an uh... pretty telling Italian accent, so...?” I trailed off hoping he would take the cue.

He seemed to be inside his own mind for a moment before he answered me. “I am not from here, no.” 

“Then don’t take this the wrong way, I’m glad to have you here, but,” his eyes widened, “why are you  here ? This town doesn’t have shit, as I’m sure you’ve noticed.” I asked with a laugh. He took a while to respond to that one, a worried look on his face as he struggled for words. 

“I eh- Well you see- My... employer sent me out here because of that, specifically, actually. Good PR and all that.” He finished with a dismissive wave of his hand. 

I had a feeling he was avoid telling me the complete truth. There had been no mention of a sponsor of the class on any of the fliers I had seen, and he didn’t wear a uniform of any kind. How could his employers company get any good publicity if they did not put their name on it? It didn’t make sense. 

“Who do you work for? I never noticed any companies on the flyers, but I am not always the most observant, to tell the truth.” 

“Nobody recognizable.” Was his cryptic answer. 

By that time we had made it down to the parking lot, where there were only two cars left. My old shitbox, and a nice, black vintage looking... something. 

“Holy shit Copia, Is that yours?”

He reached into his pocket and pulled out a set of car keys which were clearly not to anything recent, and nodded shyly. 

“Ok so I don’t know shit about cars, but that’s awesome.” 

I noticed he had stopped and was fiddling with the keys, his face flushed. “It’s- It’s old, and I’ve had it forever, really,” he mumbled, trying to brush it off. 

“No, really! It is! I’ll have to get you to give me a ride someday!” I laughed a bit before I realized how that may have sounded, so fired another question quickly and hoped he would disregard that comment. 

“So what is it? Well a car clearly, but like what breed- what  kind I mean,” now it was my turn to feel my face heat up. 

A small smile formed on his face and a chuckle rumbled in his chest. “It’s a ‘55 Thunderbird, and I’d love to take you for a ride sometime, I mean, if you’d like to go.” 

Shit, he did hear that. 

“Uh yeah, for sure, I bet it’s a hell of a lot more fun a ride than that old thing.” I pointed at my own car, which was a couple rows from his. “Anyway, I’ll see you Monday, thank you so much for staying late for me!” I waved as I turned to go to my car, feeling his eyes on my back as I walked. Once I hopped into my car I sat for a minute, realizing I was starting to see him as a friend, not just the instructor of some construction class. He really was a nice guy, albeit awkward as hell.I turned the key in the ignition to head home. Or at least I  would have headed home, if anything had happened other than the small click of the starter trying in vain to get the engine to turn over. 

_ Fuck. This is not at all how I hoped the night would go from here.  _

I looked up, checking for Copias’ T-bird. I had dawdled once I got in my car but if by any chance he was still here, maybe he could give me a jump. As much as I hated to bother him again for  more help it didn’t look like I had a whole lot of other options. 

_Shit_. 

As I looked up I caught a glimpse of his tail lights, turning out of the lot. 

_ I could call Sarah, maybe? Wait no, today is Friday, she works nights on Fridays.  _

I gave starting the car one more try before giving up and bringing my head to the steering wheel. Car issues were the  last  thing I needed. After a moment of self pity, I realized my chance at getting home was getting farther away by the second. I pulled out my phone and gave Copia a dial. He answered on the first ring. 

“Lyza? Is everything alright? Are you okay?” He sounded so worried at any other time I’d be touched. 

“Yeah, I’m fine, Listen, I am so so sorry to bother you again, but I can’t get my car to start and the only other person I could get a jump from, she works tonight and-“, he cut me off,

“I’ll be right there.” 

“Oh my god, you’re a hero, thank you so much,” I could already see the blush on his face in my mind when his stuttered reply came through the phone. 

“I-it’s nothing, I can- I’ll see you in a minute.” 

True to his word the black T-bird pulled back into the lot maybe two minutes later. He jumped out, looking just as worried as he sounded on the phone, and leaned down to my window. 

“What happened?” 

“Well nothing  _happened_ ,  per se, I just can’t get my car to start. Dead battery maybe, see?” I turned the key once again, letting him hear the click. 

He listened intently and nodded, “I think you may be right. Can you eh,” he waved his hand at the hood. 

I popped the hood and stepped back out, standing next to him at the front of the car.His brow was furrowed and appeared to be inspecting something that he was not happy with, if the sour expression was any indication. “Hey, I’m sorry again to drag you back here, I really appreciate it.” If he heard me, he didn’t give any indication as he was reached around in the engine bay, his fingers following the wires coming from the battery. 

“Ah,” a pause, “I have some bad news.” 

“What?” 

He held up the end of one of the wires, the exposed ends not attached to anything as they should be. 

“Oh. Well... shit. I’m not getting this thing started tonight, am I?” I thought back to what could’ve caused it.    
  


_ I have been taking the speed bumps faster that I should, or maybe the jostling of the dirt roads to the property? _

He looked nervous, like he expected me to be mad at  him for my car being a piece of shit. “Eh... no,” he sighed and his shoulders fell, defeated. We both stood wordlessly for a minute, staring at the fucked up wire. I was wracking my brain for either a way home or someone I could ask to feed for me while I figured out a place to sleep and a way to get the car running, but came up empty. A tow truck wasn’t an option price wise, and the nearest auto repair shop was at least a mile away, if not further. 

My thoughts were interrupted by Copia asking shyly, “W-Would you be up for that ride right now? I don’t-I could give you a ride home?” He must’ve seen me notice his hands shaking and quickly hid them behind his back and looked up at me, waiting for a response. I gave it some thought before deciding that would probably be my best bet. Normally getting into the car of a man I barely knew at night and proceeding to _direct him to the place I lived_ was something I would  never risk doing, but he had been nothing but helpful and caring when he did not have to be. 

I reached into my car and grabbed my bag, throwing it over my shoulder as I turned back to him. 

“Let’s do it.” 

He looked absolutely bewildered, even though he was the one who suggested it, and nodded quickly before opening his passenger door for me, shutting it once I got in. As I watched him walk back around to slide into the drivers seat I pulled out my phone, sending a quick text to Sarah, just in case. 

7:23 Hey car broke down, Copias giving me a ride home, will text you once I get there. 

Copia got into the car, groaning like an old man as he slid into the drivers side of the bench seat. I looked over the cars flawless interior as it roared to life. A silver band wrapped from the middle of the dash to the doors and an arched speedometer sat above the steering wheel. My eyes followed Copias hand to the radio as he tuned it to an old country station, probably assuming it was the safest choice given the location. 

Once we made it to the exit, he stopped, turning to me.

“Which way?” 

I pointed left, and he nodded, going a little ways down the road before he asked me, “Would it be alright if we pick up something to eat somewhere along the way?” 

“You don’t need to ask me Copia, you’re the one doing me a favor,” I said through a small laugh. This man was probably the most peculiar person I’ve ever met. Here he was, doing  me a _huge_ favor by driving me home, and still asking my permission for him to grab himself some food as if it would be an inconvenience to me. 

He seemed to think a moment before he spoke again. “Alright eh- cool, what do you like?” He glanced between me and the road. 

“Like, what would I recommend?” I asked, confused. 

“No, no, where would you like to get food from?” 

_ Does he mean for us both to eat? Like to have dinner? Together? How can I tell him I can’t afford it without sounding like I am asking for a handout?  _

“ Oh uh... I have food at home,” was the stupid sentence that my mouth allowed to fill the air. 

His eyes lingered on me for a second and he nodded. We drove in a comfortable silence another few miles, the only sound the radio and his voice occasionally humming along with it. As luck would have it, he pulled into the same fast food joint as I had the other day and parked, leaving the car running and giving me a quick ‘be right back’ before he went inside. 

I know I shouldn’t have, but while he was gone I let my eyes wander, looking for any kind of hints of who his employer actually was, or how he could afford an expensive vintage car like this, but my search came up empty. Aside from his and my bags the car was as empty and clean as it must’ve been the day it left the factory. 

Copia returned, bag in one hand, and  two  drinks clutched between his other arm and chest. 

“Thirsty, huh?” 

“N-no, well, yes, but-“ he stammered, then shoved one of the drinks at me, “This is for you. I’m sorry- I wasn’t sure what you like, so I just got a sweet tea because everyone around here seems to drink it more than water and-“ he was rambling, explaining more to the bag still in his lap to me. “There’s some food in here for you too, if you are hungry right now, or if you’d rather wait and not eat in-in a car that’s also fine, I just hate to see anyone-“ this time, he cut himself off. 

Not sure how to respond, all that came out was a thank you and an explanation of how I’d hate to get any crumbs in his car. I don’t know if he  knew the reason I tried to deny the food was because of money problems, of if he just felt bad to have food in front of someone who did not or what, so I trained my eyes on the scenery out the window, not trusting myself to talk the rest of the ride, and he seemed to share my train of thought. 


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Short dinner and some help around the barn. Mystery boi avoids questions.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! ☜(ﾟヮﾟ☜)   
> Apologies for formatting/grammatical errors etc

_ 7:54 hey bitch! just saw your text, you’re gonna need to explain when we see eachother next - you get home yet?  _

_ 8:02 just did, he stopped for food _

_ 8:03 a dinner date? Def gonna need the story  _

We had just made it to my place and I offered my table as a place to eat. It was the least I could do since he bought me food. I could tell as we ate he was trying to look around as inconspicuously as he could. Even though it was really not _my_ fault the place was in such a state, I still found myself feeling somewhat self conscious about it. 

“Sorry this place is a mess, I just...haven’t been able to fix it up yet.” I spoke, taking a sip of my sweet tea.

“It reminds me somewhat of my childhood home. The-the property and animals, I mean.” He looked to be lost in thought for a moment before finishing his last bite of food as I did the same. I stood, clearing the trash and started walking towards my bedroom to change to my work clothes before I realized my visitor probably thought I was just like, leaving him there or something. 

I paused and turned back around to look at him as he was watching me walk away. “Hey I’m just gonna go change to my work clothes, I gotta feed still. If you go before I get back out, thank you so much for the ride and for the dinner!” 

He was still sitting at the same spot when I returned, thousand mile gaze on his face, elbows on the table, and fiddling unconsciously with the small chain he wore around his neck every time I’d seen him. Jumping a little as I opened the door he spoke, “I can help you with that before I go? I held you up from your normal routine with dinner, so it’s only fair.” 

“Uh, you really don’t have to do that, you bought-“ Something about the hopeful look on his face cut me off, if he wanted to help that bad I wasn’t going to reject a second set of hands. 

“Alright, let’s go.” I replied to him with a short nod, waving him to follow. I heard his chair screech as he pushed it back to get up and made my way into to the barn with my visitor in tow, ready to get started. 

“How many animals do you keep here?” Copia was looking around curiously. 

“Just my one horse and 9 goats. Nothing too crazy, they aren’t really my income anymore so,” I shrugged and went to start the water for the goats. 

When I came back in the barn he was at the spigot, seemingly inspecting my work, nodding to himself in approval before asking, “They- they were before? Your income, I mean?” 

I stated at him blankly for a moment before I remembered what I had just said before I walked out. “Uh yeah- well not really the goats, those I just sell the kid goats when they’re old enough, but I used to rodeo professionally. Was working on filling out my WPRA permit. It was my bread and butter so to speak. After the fire I had to quit. Then my truck broke” I pointed to the old dually parked out back, “So I couldn’t even if I had the time or money to now. Cant pull anything with my old shitbox obviously,” frustration tinged my voice as I spoke. “Can’t even take  _ myself _ home with it.” 

He looked at me, confused. “I don’t know what that means.” He heard the water overflow for the goats before I did, and reached down and turned the water off, beginning to pull the hose back in as he continued, “Well I know what rodeo is obviously, Ive certainly been around long enough for that, but- you need a permit?” He was looking up at me now, one eyebrow raised. 

“Uh, sort of yeah. Yes and no. It’s weird. I could go enter an open rodeo like the little ones around here without it, but to enter the big ones you know, those you need to have a WPRA card, and to get one you need to buy a permit, and win enough on the permit to ‘fill it’” I explained, air quotations and all. 

I could tell he still didn’t quite get it, but felt like he should as he just nodded and made a small ‘hm’. 

I headed back out in the dark to the goats once more, this time with food, quieting their incessant bleats that they had a habit of starting as soon they heard my door. Turning to go back in, I noticed Copia at standing Bug’s stall in the yellow light from the one remaining functional light fixture, giving him a soft scratch between his ears. He had a strange look in his eye, noticeable as I quietly approached.  


“His name is Bug, he’s my-or at least he  was my rodeo horse. Speedy guy, that one.” I said, as I came over with the hose to fill the buckets. He must not have heard me and startled noticeably when I spoke, causing Bug to flinch as well. He flushed, giving one awkward quick ‘Sorry’ to me and one to Bug, which brought a small smile to my lips. People who talked to animals as they would a person earned instant points in my book. 

He went over to the few bales of hay I had stored and pulled off a couple of flakes, holding them up for approval before he spoke again, “You named a horse Bug?” He tossed them in the stall. 

“Yeah, yeah, I know, weird name for a horse, but it comes from his registered name. His grandsire was the great ‘Bugs Alive in 75.’” 

Copia had a blank look on his face before replying simply, “Ah.”, before looking around and bringing over the wheelbarrow and my muck rake. 

“You really don’t have to do that, I’ll get it in a sec,” I told him as he pulled open the door of the stall and got started. 

He shrugged, “I don’t mind, it is eh-” he took one hand off the rake and gestured in the air, looking for a word, “ _ terapeutico _ . Thereaputic.” And went back to picking the stall with a practiced ease. “This is the door from the picture, no?” 

“It is.” I kinked the end of the hose to stop it from pouring water everywhere and went to go turn it off and grab Bugs’ grain. By the time I got back, I was impressed to find he was already nearly done with the stall. “Damn, you’re fast!” 

He flushed and shrugged again, “I-I’ve done it a few times.” 

As I dumped Bugs’ grain in the bucket, curiosity got the better of me. “So you said this place reminded you of your childhood home?” 

He was suddenly interested in a few strands of hay on the floor. “I eh- yes. We had some animals when I was a very small child.” 

“Did you ride?” I asked hopefully, maybe someday if I could afford another horse he could come ride with me. 

_ Where the hell did that thought come from?  _

Still kicking around the hay he gave a short reply. “Later on yes, back then no.” 

He seemed to be avoiding giving details, so I figured I’d ask a hopefully less sensitive question next, pulling my rope off where it hung on the wall, setting up the loop with ease. “Okay well, did you learn to rope when you learned to ride at least?” I was swinging as I spoke, and had to hold in a laugh when Copia ducked dramatically, an alarmed look on his face. 

“There were no... ‘cowboys’ in London. Or in France.” 

The laughter I had been trying to hold in burst out at his attempt to say the word ‘cowboy’ in the most over-the-top county accent I’d ever heard, which sounded even more ridiculous paired with the still present hint of his Italian. “Oh my god, Copia of all the things you could say,” he looked amused and pleased with himself as he watched me try to catch my breath, the mental image of the stereotype of a high society French person cowboying prolonging my struggle. 

Once I finally caught my breath, my brain registered he spoke like he had been to both London  and  France, and now more questions filled my head. “Wait so you’ve lived both of those places?” 

He was silent for a moment, looking uncomfortable before he replied, once again not giving a real answer, “Ive lived many places, Lyza.” He then pulled out that  _ fucking _ pocket watch again, checking the time before snapping it shut. “I should let you get to bed.” 

I didn’t know what upset him, but he seemed intent on heading home, or at least being somewhere that wasn’t  here . I couldn’t really blame him, it truly was getting late and this place was a shithole, so we said our awkward goodbyes and a couple minutes watched as his taillights disappeared around the bend before going back in the house and flopping myself on the bed with a sigh. 

_ What a fucking day.  _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun fact: Bugs Alive in ‘75 was actually born in 1973, which puzzles me 
> 
> ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ 
> 
> Thanks for reading!


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A ride with Bug, and Lyza forgets her car is shit

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!

Sarah texted me the night before, demanding to meet for coffee before work, and seeing as how I did not have a working car at the moment, she also came and picked me up. As soon as I stepped into her car she fixed me with an expectant glare. 

“So? Who is this ‘ _ Copia _ ’?” She asked as we drove off. 

_ Lord, I’m never gonna hear the end of it once I admit who he is, am I?  _ I thought to myself, our last conversation at the diner coming to mind. 

“He’s uh- He’s the instructor of that class.” 

“Oh my god, the one you admitted yourself was ‘not bad lookin’?” She both hands hand off the wheel making air quotes. I sometimes questioned her driving habits. “And y’all had dinner together and  he took you home? ” 

I rolled my eyes at her dramatization, “we just ate fast food in my shitty kitchen and he helped me feed, thats it.” She was looking at me skeptically. “Don’t you give me that look, Sarah. He was just being nice.” 

“Yeah, sure, and _none_ of your classmates could’ve given you a ride? It just  _ had  _ to be the teacher you have the hots for? Really?”

_ Shit .  She’s gonna go to town when I tell her this.  _

“It did, he was the only one still there because uh...”, I tried to think how to word it. “I stayed late, for like... tutoring? I guess?” I finished lamely, not sure if that was even the right word. 

Her head snapped to me, her eyes huge and mouth agape. “Lyza! What would your mother think?” She said, feigning outrage. She clearly thought something more had happened than what did, which was not the least bit surprising, knowing her. 

I laughed and held up my hands in defense. “He was telling me how to fix the sagging gates! That’s it, I swear!” 

“Mmmm hmm, whatever you say” she was choking back a laugh. 

“Oh, shut up” I rolled my eyes and gave her a friendly punch in the shoulder. 

—-

Sarah dropped me back off at home after a long shift at work and I was exhausted. I hadconvinced the manager to let me work her same hours since she was my ride today, and luckily we were busy enough for my request to be granted. I drug myself off my sofa and out the door to go feed. I really needed to exercise Bug too, I realized with a sigh. Good thing I was off tomorrow. 

I pulled him out of his stall, grabbing a brush to knock off the shavings that had stuck to him. “Hey Bug, what did you think of that guy last night huh?” I asked him, obviously not expecting an answer. I picked out his feet quickly before grabbing my saddle and saddle pad, throwing them up and sliding them into place. “I think he seems like a nice guy right?” 

Bug just turned his neck and nudged me with his nose like he always did. 

“Well you seemed okay with getting all his attention. You sure love those ear scratches don’t you? Of course you liked him.” I was talking to him as Bug and I made our way down the side of the long dirt road that had become our customary track ever since I ended up at this place. I had to admit, it was pretty good for keeping him in shape, but I missed the space of an arena. It had been months since I’ve been able to take him through the pattern or run a calf on him and I was afraid I’d fall out of practice or he’d lose the fast-twitch muscle response he needed to perform. Straight lines were good and all, but dirt roads weren’t exactly an ideal or safe place to make any sudden changes in direction. Deciding to breeze him a short way down the road, I stood in my stirrups and smooched, his cue that it was go time. 

Something about the wind rushing by my ears and the feeling of Bugs’ long strides eating up the ground beneath me never failed to make me feel alive, so I couldn’t help the disappointment that set in after that short quarter mile. Once we got back and I had Bug cooled out, I found myself with a newfound energy. Measuring tape and notebook in hand, I began to take notes of all the pieces I would need to start fixing the gates, and even managed to calculate the amount of new fence I would need to replace the existing barbed wire that had been preventing me from turning out Bug if at all possible. The sooner I got rid of that the better.A foot through a normal fence was bad enough, a foot wrapped in barbed wire was a near death sentence; severed tendons, suspensory damage, hoof deformation, none of it was something I wanted to risk happening to Bug. 

I was already fixing to head out to the store to see how much supplies I could afford, one foot out the door, when it hit me that my car was still out of service, and in the colleges parking lot. 

_Damn. There goes that good mood._

Energy gone, I went back to my room and flopped face first onto my bed. I stayed like that for a few minutes before pulling out my phone to text Sarah. To my surprise, there was already a text from Copia on the screen from about an hour ago. 

_ 6:36 Would you like any help with that door?  _

He must’ve texted when I was out with Bug. 

_7:21 Sorry, just saw your text. Thanks for the offer, but I still need to get the supplies for it and stuff and as you know, my old shitbox is still in the parking lot so I’m kinda stuck :(_

_ 7:22 Rigjt.  _

_ 7:22 Right. Fucking phone.  _

_ 7:24  I could pick you up? _

Was he really that bored that he wanted to drive all the way out here from whatever side of town he stayed just to go go a hardware store? Would they even still be open? 

_7:25 Let me see how late they stay open._

I quickly looked up the hardware store on my phone before texting him again. 

_7:26 Well, turns out they close at 8. I don’t think there would be time today._

_ 7:27 I am sorry. I should have contacted you earlier.  _

From what little I could tell from text, he sounded disappointed. After a few minutes of laying in my bed, staring at the ceiling, I sighed “fuck it,” to the empty room, and texted him again. 

_ 7:45 Tomorrow is my day off, if you would still want to go? _

I waited for his reply, which took longer than usual. 

_ 8:11I would love to, thank you. _

_ 8:11Would 10 be okay?  _

_ 8:12 works for me, see you then :) _

Now feeling a strange excitement in my stomach, I closed my eyes and managed to will myself to sleep. 


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Copia surprises Lyza with his skills

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies in advance, blame google translate if the translation is shit. If you need me I will be crying about daft punk in a corner somewhere (ಥ﹏ಥ) 
> 
> Anyways, thanks for reading!

The morning came before I knew it, the sun shining in between the blinds pulling me from my slumber. I smacked around on my nightstand to find my phone and check the time. Once I read the screen I jumped up. 

_ 9:33 _

_ 1 Notification  _

_ [ 9:30 Good morning, I am on the way. Will be there soon]  _

_ Shit. I still have to feed.  _

I ran outside, not even bothering to put on my work clothes. I grabbed some hay without even stopping, which made a much bigger mess than I should have made, and threw it out to the goats quickly. Turning back like an angry bull was after me, I went back to drag out the hose again, turned it on, then pulled Bug out of the stall and tied him so I could clean it without him in the way making it take longer. He liked to mess with things, and with my luck he’d push the wheelbarrow over and I’d have to clean it _twice_. My heart dropped when I heard the telltale scrape and clang of a loose shoe that could only mean a farrier bill as he stepped out onto the concrete of the barn isle. 

_ Fuck. There goes the money I had for the stupid door.  _

I blinked a few times trying to erase the tears of frustration fighting their way into my eyes. It seemed like I could never get a break. I was supposed to have another few weeks before he needed a new set. Now I’d have to pay an extra farm call. I knew how to pull it to keep him from stepping on a nail, but I was too afraid to even try to put it back, and it was probably bent anyway. Another terrible thought occurred to me. 

_ Oh no, Copia is probably nearly here and- _

The sound of an old car driving up and the slam of an old cars door cut me off.  Too late. 

Copia walked into the barn, his hands clasped behind his back the way he had the other day when he was trying to hide their shake. I wondered if it was the same reason today, or if he just stood that way out of habit. Looking up at his face, his brow was furrowed with worry. 

“What is wrong? Is everything alright?” Came the greeting that unfortunately seemed to be becoming routine. 

I realized I must be an eyeful, my hair was surely a mess, I still in my big t-shirt and pajama bottoms, and watery red eyes to complete the look. No wonder he looked worried. I looked like shit. 

“I am so sorry Copia, I wasted your time, I don’t think I can go anymore.” The devastated look on his face hurt my chest. 

“Was it something I did?” He asked, worried.

“No no, It has nothing to do with you at all!” I quickly reassured him, “I just- Bug has just about thrown a shoe, and now the money I was going to use at the store I now need to use for a farrier, he should’ve had several more weeks on this set and it’s just another thing to add to the  fucking list and-“ I cut myself off and took a deep breath. I realized I was starting to vent at him, and that wasn’t why he was here. “I am so sorry. I would’ve told you earlier, but I slept late and I ran out here like-,” I gestured at myself, “like this andit just- it hasn’t been a good morning so far. I’m sorry, Copia.” 

He blinked, his mouth opening and closing a few times before he spoke again, appearing to have decided on what to say. 

“Do-do you, eh- are there any of the tools around here somewhere?” He suddenlystarted walking through the barn, looking everywhere insistently for ...something. 

Not quite following his train of thought, I followed him physically, “What tools are you looking for? You mean like for building stuff? Hammers, screwdrivers and shit? Those kind of tools? Or-“ 

“Ah-ha,” he interrupted, dramatically spreading his arms above his shoulders, evidently having found what he was looking for in an unused tack closet. 

He had found a positively ancient-looking set of now rusted farrier’s tools. 

“Um,  that’s what you were looking for?” I asked in confusion, “...What are you gonna do with that? Just because you know how to use nails on like, like wood and stuff doesn’t mean you should try it on my horse, Copia.” 

“Well, I eh- it just so happens that I actually used to shoe horses in a past life, so if you’d like I could probably-“ he gestured at Bug. 

I eyed him, skeptical. “Are you messing with me?” 

He looked nervous and shook his head no. “I don’t imagine horses hooves have changed in the last- since I have done this last, so if you’re comfortable with it?” 

I still wasn’t sure I believed him but couldn’t figure out any reason that he’d lie about something like that, especially if he was going to have to demonstrate said skills right in front of me.

Weighing the options, I decided I may as well. I’d find some way to pay him back later. “Let’s see it then,” I gave him a smile and he walked over to Bug, making quick work of removing the loose shoe. I was speechless. He knew what he was doing. Seeing him work felt like seeing something very out of place, something being somewhere that your mind won’t comprehend it  actually being, like a nun in a strip club, or a boat sailing in the clouds.

I watched as he held the shoe up to his eyes, inspecting it, brow furrowed in dissatisfaction before walking it over to the sturdy pipe that at one point had been meant to tie several horses to when the barn itself was in its glory days.

“Sorry, this will be loud.” He warned sheepishly as he found the hammer and pulled it from the box of tools. Quickly, he hammered the shoe back straight, going back and forth to the pipe he was using as a form for the shoe, and Bug, inspecting it along the way. I watched in amazement as he bent over, held Bugs hoof between his knees, and tapped the nails back in wordlessly. Once he finished, let Bugs foot back down gently and turned to me, spreading his arms with a lame ‘Ta-Da’ 

“Ok, what the hell.” I finally managed to get out of my mouth. My mind just couldn’t seem to be able to add ‘farrier’ to Copias file in my brain. 

“ Is it alright? It has been years so it-“ he asked nervously.

“Yeah of course, I just was  not expecting you to know how to do that, no offense.” I said as I put Bug back in his stall, relieved at the surprise turn of events ending up much better than they could have been. “Thank you for that, you don’t know how much that helps.” We both stood there awkwardly for a moment, neither of us knowing what to say or do next, until I went to latch the stall door. “Okay so, the hardware store. You ready to go?” 

His eyes traveled from my head to my toes before he spoke. “I am, but eh... you might-“ he vaguely gestured at me with both arms and his face turned a light shade of pink. 

I was still in my sleep clothes, and I was about to go into town like that like an fucking idiot. I broke out laughing, “Oh my god, I completely forgot, be right back.” 

He was smiling at me, the corners of his eyes wrinkling slightly telling me it was genuine. 

We had made it all the way to the store and parked before Copia froze, looking at me strangely before he wiped his hand down his face and started chuckling quietly, muttering under his breath, “ _ oh caro signore, sono un idiota. _ ” 

I looked at him, confused at why he was laughing and what he had just said, only having caught ‘idiot’. 

“Um Copia? You good? What did you say about an idiot?” 

“Lyza, look at the vehicle we are in, where does lumber fit?” He asked gesturing around the inside of the car before I realized what the problem was and mirrored his move wiping my hand down my face, which resulted in the both of us laughing to the point of tears for a time before we pulled ourselves together enough to go into the store, now with a different list of supplies. Turns out, we overlooked the fact that we were in an old T-bird, which would not be able to transport the lumber needed to fix the door and gates, so instead we went in and got some new clips for the fence posts, wire cutters, and a few rolls of wire to replace the barbed type that I had. By some miracle it all fit in the trunk. 

On the way back I tried to ask him more about himself, but found that most of the answers he gave were not actually answers at all, leaving with little more knowledge than I started with. He did divulge that he had pet rats back ‘home’ wherever that is, and that they were ‘free to come and go as they please’ and that once the class ended he would be going back there. What shocked me was the sinking feeling I got in my stomach when he said he would be leaving. I’d known him only for a few days but my brain had apparently already attached itself to him, and I spent a good few minutes in my own head trying to sort out what that meant.If only Sarah knew that finding out he would be leaving had me already counting the days until he would come back she would have a field day. I would miss him once he leaves, I thought. I felt like we have become fast friends, and that was nice. 

We spent the rest of the day working on taking down the barbed wire from the fence posts. By the time we lost daylight, a good two thirds of it was still up, which was fine- it left me a project for during the week. As we said our goodbyes for the night he made the offer to pick me up and take me home for the class, so I’d be spending some more time with him soon, at least until I could figure out how to get my car to the shop. 

I took a hot shower to relax my now aching muscles before digging through my pantry to find dinner. As I ate, I reflected on the day, and on Copia. He had a nervousness to him that never seemed to really go away, when he was around me at least. When he was teaching the class he seemed fine, or at the very least he hid it well. He must be pretty lonely out here in a town in the middle of nowhere, his employer making him leave behind us friends and family at home. Maybe that was why he seemed eager to spend the day with me. I then realized I never heard him speak about any family in the time I’ve spent with him so far. It was something else I’d have to ask him about. It wasn’t until I was in bed that I realized my reflection on the day had ended up being an exclusive reflection on Copia instead. 


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Copia goes for a ride on Bug, Lyza tries to fight a fence, and visits Copias apartment for the first time.

Over the next few weeks I had picked up as many extra shifts at work as I could, Sarah picking me up and Copia driving me home, and I finally saved enough to have my car towed and repaired. It became a routine that every Sunday, Copia would come over and we would work on getting things fixed up together, which I had to admit, I enjoyed and appreciated immensely. Sometimes if we finished soon enough for the day, or just felt like taking a break, he’d go walk with me to watch Bug run when I took him out to ride. I’d always offer if he wanted to ride either out or back in then trade but he would always decline, saying he was used to walking where he needed to go. I was beginning to think he didn’t _actually_ know how ride until just this past week when I finally convinced him to hop on and prove he could. 

We were on the way out the property gate, and I offered, “You _suuuure_ you don’t want to hop on, at least walk him out there and get him warmed up?” 

He kept walking but spoke as he went, eyes down on the road, “I did not ride in that style, I would not want to ask Bug the wrong thing.” 

“It’s easy! Just don’t keep contact on the reins, the rest should be fine, if you  really do know how to ride.” I teased as I swung my leg over and stepped down, lengthening the stirrups a few holes for him. “Hop on, he’s a good boy, I promise!” 

Copia stopped walking, looking between me and Bug before letting out a sigh and stepping up into the saddle. He shifted around a bit and tapped on the horn, “We eh, we definitely didn’t have these, but I will admit, this is much more comfortable than what I rode in.” 

I followed a ways behind, watching as he took Bug through what I normally did as a warm up. He must have been paying more attention when he watched me in the past than I thought, and once again, he was not lying. He knew how to ride. 

“Hey, Copia,” I called, beckoning him to bring Bug back closer. As he came back I saw a genuine smile on his face, he was enjoying himself. “Take him down the the end of the road there, and when you turn back stand up and kiss at him, I can guarantee he’s faster than any horse you may have ridden in London or France or wherever. It’s fun.” 

He looked surprised at the offer but I could tell he wanted to give it a go, “Are-are you sure?” 

“Yes I’m sure. Go, go on,” I shoed him away, excited to see my horse run as well. I never had anyone else to ride him so I’d only ever seen videos from the alley that I had people take a rodeos.

I really wished I’d have made a video just to replay the look on his face as he flew by, an amusing mix of terror and joy. When he came back around he was still out of breath, a huge smile on his face. 

He was giving Bug a scratch on the shoulder as he spoke. “Holy shit, you weren’t- you weren’t fucking around when you said he’s fast!” He took a few breaths, “I’d- I’d eh, seen from the ground obviously, but that does not compare, I am impressed.” 

“I told you!” I teased, and he smiled at me, hopping down for us to switch for the walk back in.

——

Each week that passed we grew closer and I could now safely say that he was one of the best friends I’d ever had, and without fail, as soon as he left for the night, I’d always find myself missing him already. It was that thought that occupied my mind as I was working on removing the last of the barbed wire fencing on the property,evidently not paying enough attention to what I was doing, and I pulled it with everything I had with the hand I did  _ not  _ have the glove on. Pain tore through my hand and tears came to my eyes as I jumped away from the wire like it was electric fence. 

_ Fuck. _

I went to the hose to rinse the blood and dirt away as best I could, and as it cleared I found the gash I managed to create went deep enough I swear I could see the white of bone. 

_ That’s not good.  _

Best I could think of to do was to find my first aid kit I used to keep in my trailer for Bug, get some gauze and wrap it tight with vet wrap to try to close the skin. Truth be told, it was probably something a doctor should see, but medical bills were not cheap and I knew I wouldn’t be able to afford it. 

_ Work is gonna be a real bitch tomorrow.  _

I tried to ignore the throbbing pain as I went back to put the stuff I had been using for the fence away, one handed this time. It felt like the goats were laughing at me as they bleated and watched me struggle as I attempted to balance everything in my arms without being able to actually grip it. Looking back, two trips probably would’ve been a better idea but I was stubborn, and maybe I could convince myself I was fine if I could still do it in one.

Finally back inside, I frantically dug through my medicine cabinet to see what I could find for the pain and popped the maximum dose before I flopped down onto my bed and pulled out my phone. I thought about texting Copia to tell him what happened, but quickly decided against it. Knowing him, he’d freak the hell out, and I didn’t want to do that to him. I could already see the worried look on his face when he finds out anyway. 

Deciding to text Sarah instead, I sent her a picture of my neon green vetwrapped had. 

_ 3:37 got in a fight with the barbed wire, it kicked my ass _

She mustve been on break, she answered right away. 

_ 3:38 Oh shit Lyz, what happened?  _

Typing one handed took a while but eventually I got the next text sent. 

_ 3:42 I wasn’t paying enough attention to what I was doing apparently, I pulled the wire with the wrong hand and cut it open. Hurts like a bitch  _

_ 3:43 You need to see a doctor for that! Maybe you can DIY the shit on your property but you can’t just do a DIY repair on your hand! I’m serious!  _

_ 3:44 Was Copia with you? If he was I swear I’ll kick that mans ass for not taking you to get that checked out!  _

_ 3:47 he’s not, don’t see him til tomorrow, and I can’t afford the doctor anyway because America you know? _

I didn’t get another response, so she must’ve gone back to work. I sighed and plugged in my headphones, and waited for it to be time to feed again for the night. That would surely be a nightmare on its own, but I’d figure it out. 

——

As expected, the next day at work was really shitty. I never realized how much I relied on having both hands available for use. I had to make twice as many trips for everything now and trying to balance and distribute food without being able to hold onto the trays was quite the predicament. Sarah helped me run food when she could, but especially once the rush came in, she had her own tables to worry about. By the end of my shift, I was tired enough that I considered skipping tonight’s class, but seeing Copia always seemed to lift my mood, which I really needed right now. 

I was nearly late by the time I got there, so we didn’t have time to talk before class started. It was probably for the better though, Copia seemed distracted the entire time, and I caught him glancing at the bright green wrapping on my hand a few times. I wouldn’t have been surprised if he had found out what had happened before class started if he would’ve just cancelled the whole thing. I had noticed bed the past few weeks that he had grown to be pretty protective of me, which normally was cute, but now would not really be the best time for that. I moved to walk out to wait for him outside like what had become our usual, but a hand on my shoulder stopped me before I got out the door. 

I turned to see who it was and I was surprised to see it was Copia, looking just as worried and concerned as I imagined when I decided not to tell him right away. In all the time we had spent together the past couple of months, he had never actually touched me, aside from the occasional brush of hands when we handed each other tools and the like, so the touch surprised me. He saw me looking at his hand and immediately retracted it like it burned, flushing a bright shade of pink. 

“Lyza, what happened to your hand?” He was looking down at it like he expected it to jump up and attack him. 

“I uh, I cut it on the last bit of barbed wire yesterday. Wasn’t paying enough attention I guess.” I shrugged, hoping he wouldn’t make a big deal out of it, even though I knew he would. 

His eyes widened, “Y-You cut it on the barbed wire?!” His voice was rising. “And you didn’t go see a doctor, did you? You need to go, Lyza! It could get infected! You could get lockjaw! Why didn’t you tell me?” He was becoming frantic, which was precisely the reason why I  _ hadn’t  _ told him. That and I honestly didn’t think about the whole tetanus thing, I don’t know why, since I’ve always given Bug a tetanus shot when he manages to cut himself enough that it could be an issue. 

“I am not going to the doctor Copia, it’s too expensive and this will be fine,” I said holding up my hand. “And I didn’t tell you because I knew you would freak out like this.” 

“How badly did it cut you? Is it deep? Did you-“, 

“Copia.” I cut him off, catching one of his hands in my non-injured one to get his attention. He went quiet and looked from ourjoined hands up to me, wide-eyed. “Calm down, it’s really not that big of a deal, if it’ll make you feel better, I’ll find out if I can just get one of the tetanus shots I have on hand for Bug and use that.” 

After a moment of silence, he spoke, quietly this time. “Will-will you let me see it at least?” He was still looking between me and our joined hands, his breathing heavier than normal. 

I agreed and walked over to his chair at the desk and started unwinding the wrap, trying to keep it as neat as possible so I could reuse it passably enough to re wrap it until I got home. Once I got the last bit off, I took a look at it myself. It had become red and puffy, and was still oozing a bit. 

_ Oh shit, even I know that’s not how a clean cut should look.  _

I looked up at Copia, who looked like he had seen a ghost. He was pale and his hands were shaking badly as he reached for mine to look closer. I could’ve sworn I heard him whisper ‘No’, under his breath but I wasn’t sure enough to question him on it. 

“Lyza,” he looked petrified. “Please let me take you to the emergency room, this is-it’s not good, you-you could get- Just, please let me take you?” His voice warbled like he was trying not to cry, something I’d never heard from him, and it honestly scared  _ me _ a little to see him so scared. I would’ve agreed in a heartbeat if I had the money to go.

I sighed, and looked back down at my hand. “I can’t, Copia. I can’t afford it and I can’t afford to go into any more debt than I already have. I’ll go home and wash it, and it’ll be fine.” 

“No,” he said, surprisingly sternly as he looked up, and his worried eyes met mine. “If you won’t let me take you to the hospital let me take you home and take care of it, please, I would feel much better to see it has been taken care of myself. You can’t just leave it like this.” 

At his insistence, I agreed and he hurried me out the building and into my customary spot in his car. When he pulled out of the lot, I noticed he was about to turn to the right instead of the left, which was where we needed to go to get to my house. 

“Um, I know you’re kind of... upset right now but home is the other way?” 

“I have what is needed at my apartment, and it is closer.” He replied curtly. 

_ So I finally get to see where he lives, exciting.  _

A man of his word, we were pulling into an average looking apartment complex in minutes. He jumped out and opened the door for me before I could even pick up my bag, then turned and started walking so quickly I nearly had to jog to keep up. I had seen him anxious and worried many times, but had never seen him like this. 

He flipped through his key ring for the right one and soon pushed open the door, directing me inside. He led me to the kitchen sink and said, “run cold water over it, I’ll be right back.” before stalking off through the door of the adjacent room.

I took the opportunity to look around a little before he came back. Much like his car, there was almost nothing but plain furniture in his apartment. No pictures, no knick-knaks, just a few books with titles written on their spines in a language I didn’t recognize. He came back with a worn leather bag which he set on the coffee table in front of the sofa. I watched as he dug through the bag and pulled out a bottle with a squirt nozzle and some clear liquid inside.

“It’s saline,” he explained as he approached and held out his hand for mine. He took it gently and used the saline to clear out where the faucet hadn’t before leaning down to get a closer look. 

“This is to the bone in places, Lyza, this needs stitches, badly. Yesterday would’ve been better but if we can get them done now it might still be early enough.” His face was pale when he looked back up at me. 

“I  told you I can’t go to the doctor, Copia, I’m sorry.” 

He took a deep breath, thinking, before he spoke again. “If you will let me, I will do them.” 

_ What? _

“Wait, what?” 

He let go of my hand and went back to his bag and came back with a bottle of lidocaine that looked like it was many years older than I was, as well as a needle and syringe. 

_ Oh shit, he’s serious.  _

“I have done my share of stitches in my life, and if you’ll allow it, I can help you.” He spoke quietly, but with an urgency in his tone. 

I eventually agreed, figuring that the other strange skills he had he had actually told the truth about knowing. I watched, flabbergasted, as he filled the syringe with lidocaine and pushed some in a few spots around my handto numb it before he gently closed the cut with a neat row of stitches, explaining what he was doing quietly as he did. It seemed there was no end to the surprises when it came to that man. 

As he finished carefully re-wrapping my hand I asked him, “How do you know how to do that? And why do you just like...  have that shit for that on hand?” 

He appeared to think a moment before responding, something that Ive noticed he did whenever I asked him something he was going to avoid the answer to. 

“It’s just something I picked up, and I keep it with me because you never know when you may need it.” 

Now that he had calmed some, he had gone quiet, it was as though all his energy had left him, all his responses so soft I had to strain to hear them. It unnerved me. 

He put his things back into the leather bag before he stood and addressed me again. 

“I am going to go feed your animals, I’ll bring something to eat on the way back. The bedroom is in there,” he pointed to the door he had gone in earlier, “you should probably get some sleep, it is good for helping the body to heal, and if you need any more medicine for the pain, there is some in the cabinet behind the bathroom mirror.” 

I was shocked as he abruptly left, leaving me alone in his apartment. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if any of the medical/first aid type stuff is wrong, I am not an expert 😅
> 
> And to anyone who is still reading, thank you for reading!


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lyza looks for clues and Copia gets back with dinner

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> let’s just pretend that taking century old medicine isn’t as bad of an idea as it probably is, k? 
> 
> we still usin good ol google translate btw, so apologies if the translation sucks 😅

I sat on his sofa for a few minutes just trying to wrap my mind around what the  _ fuck _ just happened. Try as I might, it just wouldn’t happen so I forced myself into the present. 

I was sitting in the middle of Copia’s apartment, with nothing but the bag I brought with me to work and class, and Copia had just left. It took me until then to realize he had said he was going to my house, and  _ was not taking me with him .  _

It wasn’t that I thought he would try to steal from me or mess with my animals or anything like that, it was the fact that if he was going to take me home tonight, I didn’t know why I wasn’t in the car with him right now, which must mean he meant for me to stay here for the night. 

_ Oh.  _

_ I guess that’s why he told me to go to sleep, then.  _

As I got up to look in the kitchen for a glass for water, I wondered what had gotten into him that caused such a change in his demeanor before he left. It was like his voice was missing the emotion behind it, it was just... dead. Haunted. I didn’t like it at all, but I was not sure what I could do to help either. I could only hope he would cheer up by the time he got back. 

Having found what I was looking for in the kitchen, I went to go find the medicine he told me about. Now that the lidocaine was starting to wear off, my hand was really starting to burn. Walking into what must’ve been his bedroom, I looked around as well, unable to keep my eyes to myself. I was not surprised to find nothing of any interest there either. Just a regular either queen or double bed, I wasn’t sure which, a nightstand, and a dresser with the only thing on it being a case for contacts. 

_Well there’s something for you, detective. He has less than perfect eyesight. Great find._ I mocked myself in my head as I reached the bathroom, pulling open the mirror cabinet and scanning for a bottle of ibuprofen. There was nothing in the cabinet that looked like it even came from this century.

_ As if today couldn’t get any stranger. _

Various glass bottles with what looked to be old pharmacy labels lined the shelves, some with drugs I recognized written on them, like morphine and heroin, and others I did not. Honestly if the bottles hadn’t looked so old I might’ve worried that he was secretly an addict or something. 

_ Maybe there was a different cabinet in a different bathroom that I missed? _

I stepped out of the room and scanned for any other doors I might’ve missed but had no luck. It was just the kitchen/living room and the bedroom in the whole apartment. I ended up deciding to take his advice and go for a nap, so I borrowed one of the pillows off the bed and found an extra blanket on the shelf in his closet and laid down on the couch, not wanting to take his bed from him. I think I fell asleep before my head even hit the pillow. 

——

I awoke to the sound of the door opening and keys jingling, along with the creak of styrofoam to-go containers in a bag being set on the counter. Cracking my eyes open, I watched as Copia moved quietly around the kitchen as if on autopilot, gathering plates and silverware then transferring the food out of those flimsy styrofoam containers. I closed my eyes again, pretending to be asleep still when he turned towards me. I heard his steps approach and a plate being set down on the coffee table before he tried to softly wake me. 

“Lyza”

“Lyza, your food will get cold.” He tried again and I tried my best to act like I was just waking up. 

When he noticed me moving he stepped back, presumably to go get his dinner also. 

Once I sat up, I noticed that he was now sitting at the small kitchen table pushing his food around his plate more than eating it. Something was still upsetting him. I picked up the plate he brought me and took it over to join him at the table.

“Copia, are you alright? You’re acting sort of...off.” Now it was my turn to be worried about him.

He didn’t take his eyes off the food he was playing with when he replied. 

“I am fine.” 

_ Oooookay, guess he doesn’t wanna talk about it.  _

Trying a different approach, I decided to ask what his plan was, why I was still here.

“So you want me to stay here tonight then I take it?” 

He set his fork down and his hands went to his lap, his eyes glancing up at me briefly before they followed his hands down to his lap as well.

“I am sorry, I just-I need to be able to see you’re alright.” He took a deep breath before he continued. “Please use use the bed, get some rest. I’m afraid I won’t be able to sleep much tonight, so I will stay out here. Excuse me.” 

He grabbed his plate and stood, putting it in the fridge before he went to sit at the desk and opened one of the books in front of him. He really needed to work on his acting though, he never once turned the page.

Once I finished eating I tried one more time to get him to relax and talk but it was to no avail. 

“Hey Copia?” 

“Yes?” He didn’t even look up from that page in the book he was staring so intently at.

“Where did you say the pain medicine was again?” 

“Behind the bathroom mirror.” 

“I looked earlier and I couldn’t find it.” 

He went wordlessly over to said cabinet and scanned over the labels on the bottles, grabbing the one labeled morphine before handing it to me. 

“Isn’t this stuff like, illegal to just  _ have _ ?” 

“It was not always. The dosage is on the back, it is stronger than what you would be used to, so you do not need much.” He promptly turned and went back to stare at the book on his desk.

I was starting to get annoyed at his sudden change in attitude. He went from being overly insistent on bringing me here and taking care of me and now he was acting like I was imposing on him. 

I let out a huff and went to bed before my mouth said anything it shouldn’t. 

——

It must’ve been several hours later when I woke again. Unsure what had brought me from my sleep, I looked around. There wasn’t light shining under the door from the living room anymore, and it was quiet. I checked my phone for the time. 

_ 3:08 _

Not finding anything, I laid back down, hoping to fall asleep again, the comfort of soft mattress calling to me. I had to admit, the man knew how to mattress shop. I was close to unconsciousness again when I heard a stifled shaky gasp and a quiet  thunk  from the living room. I sat back up once more, brow furrowed.

_ What was that? Was that Copia? _

Now curious and mostly awake, I slid out from between the sheets and tiptoed over to the door, opening it a crack as quietly as I could. In the dim light of the moon shining in from the window, I saw the hunched form of Copia in the same place as he had been at the desk earlier, only now he had one hand fisted in his hair with a white-knuckled death grip, the other holding whatever he had on the chain he always wore around his neck, with the chain part hanging out of his hand, and his head on the desk. 

_ That must’ve been the thunk.  _

His shoulders were shaking and I could hear his short labored breathing from my hiding place behind the door. My heart twisted at the sight of the man I had come to care about so obviously trying to deal with whatever had upset him this badly on his own. 

I padded quietly over to him, and as I approached I could see his hand that was holding the necklace was shaking as well. He must not have heard me approach-when I reached out to put a hand on his shoulder he nearly jumped out of his skin. 

“Copia?” My voice sounded like a shout in the quiet, “what happened? And don’t try and tell me you are fine, you are clearly not.” 

He brought his hand from his hair, leaving it mussed. It took him a while to reply, his voice quiet, “P-please-please go back to bed, Lyza” he said before gasping in another breath as though he had been holding it for hours. 

“I’m not going to leave you like this.” I tugged at his shoulder until he turned. He kept his head down, trying to hide the tears in his eyes, but I could see the tracks of old ones on his face. It broke my heart. “Copia...” I pulled him over to the sofa and sat down next to him. He was doing his best to keep his eyes trained the other way, so I reached for his far hand which was still clutching the necklace, opened his fingers and set what appeared to be a worn ring in the shape of a plague doctors mask on the coffee table before replacing it with my good hand. He looked at our joined hands, then slowly up at me. 

“Copia, please tell me what’s wrong, I can’t help you if I don’t know what happened. Besides, it’s only fair I help you since you fixed up my hand, you know?” I gave him a smile and held up my free hand. 

His mouth opened and closed a few times before he actually got words out. “Today- it brought up bad- bad memories, and I don’t... react well to them, I’m sorry.” 

“Sometimes it helps to talk?” I offered, releasing his hand to bring mine up to brush his soft hair back down into place before running it back to his shoulder, an action that surprised me just as much as it did him. 

He didn’t speak for a good five minutes, his eyes unfocused and gaze locked onto my bad hand. When he did it was quiet and emotionless. “I worked with a man... many years ago. He was- he was the best friend I had ever had, and he accepted me for- for what I am. He- He,” Copia’s voice cracked and he closed his eyes, more tears falling. “His hand got hurt in the press and it didn’t... get taken care of properly, he lost his hand, and a few days later, lost his life to infection.” His hands came up to wipe at his eyes, “I’m sorry.” 

His reaction to seeing the state of my hand made a lot more sense now. He looked like he had seen a ghost because he probably  _ had  _ seen a ghost. I pushed myself over to sit right up next to him and wrapped my arms around him, pulling him close. I laid my head on his shoulder and tried my best to comfort him, “Copia, I’m so sorry.” 

I felt his shoulders start to shake again and his breath hitched with a sob. One of his hands came up and covered mine before he spoke quietly again, “You- you have become very...” he hesitated for a moment, trying to think of the word he was looking for, “dear to me, and seeing  that \- it just- it scares me, I could not be enough help to save him, and I- if I lose you the same way-“ he cut himself off and let out a sigh, finally releasing some of the tension he had been carrying most of the day. I hugged him closer. 

“I’m not going anywhere, Copia.” 

Finally, he hesitantly brought an arm around my back, pulling me against him as well as he whispered, “ _Non credo che capirai mai quanto questo significhi per me_. ”

I must’ve dozed off again, lulled by the warmth and now steady breathing of the man next to me. I remembered feeling his grip on me loosen, and hearing his breathing even out as he fell asleep before me, exhausted from his attack, but not how long after that my eyes closed as well. 

I tried to extract myself from underneath Copias arm, carefully trying to avoid waking him. I would’ve made it too, if the crick in my neck hadn’t made me wince and elbow him right in the ribs. 

He startled awake, his eyes scanning the room quickly before he realized it was me. 

“Lyza?” He asked, his voice gravely with sleep. 

“Hey.” I gave him a sleepy smile, still rubbing my neck. “You feeling any better?” 

“Just tired. I- I’m sorry you had to see that. It hasn’t happened in a long time and I- I should’ve known better, I’m sorry.” 

I really didn’t know why he was apologizing so much, but I decided not to dwell on it now. I wanted to go back to bed and get some sleep. 

“You really don’t need to apologize, you didn’t do anything wrong, you know?” I patted his arm for good measure before I stood. “C’mon,” I nodded my head towards the bedroom, an action that my neck quickly let me know was a mistake. “I think we should go to bed. There’s still a few more hours before I need to get up for work, and I have a killer crick in my neck.” 

He was still just staring at me, a look of confusion on his features. 

“What? I was literally just napping  _ on _ you, so what’s the difference?” I laughed, “I don’t care if you don’t, and your bed is  _ fucking _ comfortable so I know you’ll sleep better there than here.” I went back to his room and he followed me in a daze.I was about to get back in bed but paused. 

“Can I ask you a favor though?

“Anything.” 

“Do you have like, shorts or sweats or literally anything that’s not jeans I could borrow? I don’t just carry around sleep clothes, you know?” 

He blinked at me, seeming to be processing my question before he pulled out a pair of sweats and a faded Dio ‘ _Holy Diver_ ’ t-shirt from his dresser, handing them to me. 

“I’m sorry, I should’ve thought-“ 

I cut him off “Don’t worry about it,” and went to go change. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Yalls kind donation of serotonin gives me life <3


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Copia is a helicopter mom, and Lyza gets mad

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, this ones pretty short¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

_ 7:15 Hey Sarah, I might not be into work today, and if I do go I might be late bc I’m at Copias so don’t wait up. _

_ 7:16 You ok?  _

_ 7:16 Yeah I’m fine, just got my hand stitched yesterday and idk if working will fuck them up _

_ 7:17 You win the lottery or what _

_ 7:17 what happened to not being able to afford the doctor?  _

_ 7:18 Copia did it. Long story.  _

_ 7:19 So your mystery man is a doctor too now? What the hell? _

_ 7:19 I know right? I barely believe it and I watched him do it lmao _

_ 7:20 Wait why are you with him already it’s 7 in the fucking morning  _

Never one to miss an opportunity to get a rise out of her, I tried not to laugh and replied.

_ 7:21 Bc I slept with him _

_ 7:21 WHAT THE FUCK _

_ 7:21 YOURE SHITTING ME _

I had to cover my mouth to stifle a laugh. I took a quick picture of the back of Copia’s head and sent it. He was still asleep, and he hadn’t even moved all night from laying on his side at the very far edge of the bed. 

_ 7:22 holy shit Lyz, there I was thinking you were a good ol christian girl, saving herself for marriage ffs  _

She added a laughing emoji with that one.

I let her believe it for a few minutes and decided to tell her to the truth

_ 7:27 No really, we literally just slept, I swear _

_ 7:27 he saw my hand after class and wouldn’t let me just drive home. Apparently he had a friend that died from an infection that way so when I showed him my hand it fucked him up, like bad _

_ 7:28 I think he had an anxiety attack last night. said it scared him and he’s afraid it’ll happen to me _

_ 7:29 You gotta believe me when I say he likes you now lyz  _

_ 7:29 he  _ just  _ said I was his  _ friend _ last night  _

_ 7:29 well yeah, that’s what he’s gonna say if he thinks you see him that way too, idiot  _

_ 7:30 whatever bitch, go get ready for work  _

I sent 3 of the middle finger emojis just to spice it up, laughing by myself again, before I figured I better wake ‘my mystery man’ as Sarah called him. I tried to gently shake him awake, and he groaned, covering his head with the pillow. It was kind of cute. 

_ Shit.  _

In that moment I realized I liked him too, in a more than friends way. There was absolutely no way I could ever admit it. How had I not realized it before? 

I gently shook the sleeping man beside me. “Copia, wake up. I need to go feed and go to work, wake up.” 

He finally rolled over and looked up at me. 

“I will go do that for you, you should not risk getting anything in your hand.” He slowly pushed himself up from between the sheets, standing and stretching his arms high above his head with a groan. He turned around to look at me where I was still sitting in his bed and spoke again, an apologetic tone to his voice. “I eh- I don’t know if going to work is a good idea either, at least for a few days until your skin can heal itself over again.” He walked around the room, starting to collect fresh clothes for the day before adding, “I mean, if you really want to go I will take you, but it might be best to skip a couple of days.” He went into the bathroom before immediately coming back out, “I’m sorry, I’m eh, not used to having anyone here, do you need anything before I shower?” 

I shook my head, glad that he seemed to be in a much better place mentally today than he had been last night. Figuring I better actually get out of bed, I forced myself from under the blanket, heading to the living roomto find the water I had left somewhere last night. 

It wasn’t long before Copia came out of the shower, hair still wet and smelling amazing. My eyes followed him across the room to the kitchen, where he opened a cabinet that had a few cereal boxes in it. “Hey Copia, I think you’re probably right.” I told him from my place on the couch.   
  


He stopped what he was doing and looked at me, confused. “Right- right about what?”  
  


“About work maybe not being the best idea today. I already texted Sarah and my boss to tell them I’m not coming in for a couple days.” I explained as he came over to sit next to me, a bowl of cereal in each hand.    
  


Offering me a bowl, he simply nodded with a ‘hmm’ as we both started on breakfast.

  
——

We went over to my place to take care of the animals, but he refused to let me help him so I ended up just hanging out with Bug for a while until he came to find me again. When he did he was wringing his hands and not making eye contact with me again, nervous about something. 

“Lyza?” 

“Copia?” I smiled at him. 

“Please wait for me to come back and take care of the animals later, and please don’t try to do anything that requires both hands by yourself, I don’t want you to do any more damage to your hand.” 

“Of course, doctors orders right?” I teased.

He looked at me weird for a second then just nodded, before turning and unceremoniously getting back in his car and leaving. I took the opportunity to go shower, careful to keep the bandaged hand dry, then plopped myself on my chair, flipping on the tv to the local news channel, one of the few I could get for free on my tv, and waited for Copia to come back. It made for a boring day, but I did not have much in the way of options.

This routine had continued for a couple of weeks, him coming day and night, hovering around me, not letting me lift a finger for anything. At first it was endearing, but it was now starting to grate on my nerves. I’d assured him several times that I was fine now, and my hand was probably at least two thirds of the way healed, if not more, so I was perfectly capable of doing my own work. I _wanted_ to do my own work. 

I tried to explain this to Copia several times, but he still did his best to do  every single thing for me. The final straw came when I was working on tacking up Bug and I heard his car drive up. When he saw me using my hand to pull the cinch snug he rushed over, practically taking it from my hands and finishing the job for me. 

“Copia! Stop! Just stop!” My anger got the best of me, and I used the hand that had been cut to push him away, a bit harder than I meant to, but I hoped it got the point across.

“But-“ His hands must’ve started shaking, they were suddenly behind his back. If I wasn’t at the peak of irritation right then I probably would have felt guilty about it, but right now all I wanted was to be left alone.

“But _nothing_! I don’t need you to do  everything  for me! You’ve seen how much better my hand is yourself! It’s been _weeks_! Why do you insist on doing this! Can you just... fuck off for a while?!” His face paled. He looked like he was about to cry. I immediately felt bad because I knew he meant well, but it had just gotten to be too much, I needed a break, and I was taking it out on him.

“I eh, I am sorry, I-I-“ he floundered for something to say before he gave up, turned, and left. 

_ Damn it.  _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Absence makes the heart grow fonder

Two more weeks had passed and my hand was fully healed, the only thing left a thin scar. It had also been two weeks since I had seen Copia outside of class, or even talked to him really. He seemed to be trying his absolute best to avoid making eye contact with me even when I  _ did _ see him during class, and even though I knew I should just suck it up, explain I didn’t mean for him to fuck  _ completely  _ off, and apologize, in my mind I kept thinking he must be pissed at me now for acting that way after all his help. I think truthfully we were both afraid to try and talk to each other again. 

Now that we had made it to the last day of the class with no change, I was honestly starting to worry he’d never talk to me again. I spent the entire time trying to think of what I could say to him, some kind of apology so that he might forgive me for blowing up on him when he was just trying to help. I was surprised when when the class finished and everyone said their goodbyes he came right up to me, hands clasped behind his back and his eyes full of trepidation as he spoke. 

“Lyza, I-I wanted to let you know I am leaving tomorrow, for a few months at least. But please know that if you need anything, just let me know, and I will do my best to find a way to help you.” He gave an awkward little bow, turned on his heel, and left, leaving me speechless. He was gone and I hadn’t even told him goodbye. He still thinks I am upset with him from my outburst that day and now I couldn’t make it up to him. 

As I drove myself home, memories of the days we had spent together at the property played in my mind. The first night he gave me a ride home in the T-bird, that night I spent with him, the way he would talk to the animals, his awkward little ‘heh’ that he did sometimes, a bunch of tiny snippets from the past several months, it all made me realize I would really fucking miss my awkward mystery man. 

The months after went by without incident, I spent my days either hanging out with Sarah or at my property making small repairs with what I had learned from the Copia’s class. I hadnt heard from him, and I was too stubborn to text him first. It was almost as though we had never even met. Eventually he started occupying less of my mind day after day, and slowly my life went back to the miserable monotony it had been for the past few years. 

It must’ve been nearly 5 months since I had seen him when an unexpected source brought him back to the forefront of my mind. I was sitting on my couch, eating my customary cold can of whatever I could find in the pantry for dinner, when on the local news there was a story on how the church was organizing a protest of a band by the name of Ghost that was coming to play in the city nearest to my town. They showed footage of people holding up picket signs outside of the venue they would be playing in, and explained that the band was from a Satanic church, whose band played songs with “obscene sacrilegious subjects” as they showed a photo of the front man, leaning over a microphone, who looked  _ uncannily  _ similar to Copia. Same facial structure, same  facial _hair_ even, but this man had one white eye, and black paint around his eyes and on his top lip. If it weren’t for the weird white eye I would’ve been certain it was actually him. It’s like he had an evil twin who was the lead singer of a rock band. I couldn’t believe it. I had to tell him. I pulled out my phone, sending him a text. 

_ 8:38 Hey Copia, I hope you’re doing well. I just saw the craziest thing on TV _

I didn’t get an answer for hours, well after midnight, after I had gone to bed for the night. My phone vibrating woke me up.

_1:49 Lyza, I am so sorry for not responding earlier, I’ve found that I am exhaustingly busy these days. What was it that you saw?_

I could feel my heart speed up when his reply came. Now fully awake, I sat myself up and explained.

_ 1:51 So I was watching the nightly news, and they had a story about the local church protesting some weird satanic rock band that I already forget the name of, and you would not believe how uncannily similar their singer looks to you _

_ 1:52 I could swear you have an evil twin you never told me about!  _

_ 1:53 oh wow, really?  _

_ 1:53 Yep, I just wish I remembered the name of the band so I could find a picture for you haha _

_ 1:53 just imagine yourself, but like... as a raccoon and with one creepy white eye, and that’s him.  _

_ 1:54 that is very interesting, thank you for telling me _

_ 1:54 what are you doing up this late? _

_ 1:55 I could ask you the same thing ;)  _

_ 1:55 right _

He was still avoiding answering questions it seemed. As I sat on my bed all the feelings from back when he just left came flooding back, and before I could stop myself I sent another text.

_ 1:56 hey, would you be able to come for a visit sometime? I miss you.  _

_ 1:58 I will be back next month, my employer has made arrangements for a part two class, but I am afraid I will not be able to make it back until then, I am sorry _

_ 1:59 make sure you save me a spot on your roster then!  _

_ 2:02 I wouldn’t dream of not doing so. Have a good night, and I will see you next month.  _

Getting the news that he was coming back was the best thing I had heard in months. I was relieved that he didn’t hate me like I thought he would by now. It was all I could do to not count down the days til he came back like a child waiting for Christmas. 

——

When the day finally came that he would be getting back I could hardly focus on anything else. The work day dragged on for what felt like forever, even with it being busy and with Sarah and I’s usual banter. 

“So what time is your mystery man getting back?” Sarah asked as she poured a drink. 

“He’s getting to the city airport at 6, so he should be here by 7, maybe sooner if he’s lucky he said,” I passed her a drink tray and started on the ones for my table. 

“You know I’m gonna want all the details right?” She asked, turning away to deliver the drinks to her table. 

“Just  what do you _think_ is gonna happen” I laughed and went to take mine.

“Oh I don’t know, the way you’re actin’, quite a bit” she backed through the swinging kitchen door with a stack of dirty dishes

“Hey, what is that supposed to mean, the way I’m acting? We passed each other with trays of food.

“It meaaaans, you’ve fell hard for this guy,and I still stand my ground that he’s the same for you, so of course somethin’ is gonna happen!” She said over the loud whir of the milkshake machine. 

“Oh my god, Sarah it’s not gonna be as big of a deal as you’re making it out to be I swear!” I rolled my eyes at her as I picked up my next round of drinks. 

“Alright, but you better be ready to hear me say I told you so all the way into next week when tomorrow I hear you guys finally made out” she laughed loudly, getting ready to take care of another table. 

As soon as my shift was over, I rushed home to feed and try and make myself look presentable for when Copia got here. He was going to pick me up here since it was closer to the direction he was coming from, then we would go to his apartment for dinner. 

I had just finished getting ready and throwing a change of clothes and toothbrush into my bag in case he asked me to stay the night with him, when I heard the familiar sound of Copia’s thunderbird pulling up. I flew down the steps at the front of the house to meet him, my heart beating a mile a minute. 

_Would he be as excited to see me as I am to see him? Will it be awkward or will it be just like before he left? Well before my outburst, before he left at least?_

My questions were soon answered when he stepped out his car and I saw his face light up when he saw me. Throwing caution to the wind, I ran up to him and threw my arms around his waist, pulling him to me and burying my head in his chest. He tensed for a moment before relaxing and returning the gesture, one arm around my waist and the other around my shoulders.“Copia, I missed you! I’m so glad you’re back!” I said into the fabric of his shirt. 

“I missed you as well,  _ tesoro _ ” he spoke into my hair. 

He seemed to let some Italian slip whenever his emotions were running high. I wondered what  tesoro even meant. I’d have to remember to look it up since the last time he said something in Italian it was too much for me to remember.

He pulled back, his hands still on my shoulders, “I see you’ve been working on the place, it looks- it looks very good!” 

“Yep, and I can’t thank you enough for all your help so far, and maybe with that part 2 we can make it even better, huh?” I smiled up at him, seeing a genuine smile on his lips as well. “So, are you bringing me back later tonight or am I staying with you?” 

He flushed, “I- I eh, I hadn’t thought that far ahead yet but,” my eyes followed his hand as his fingers ran through his hair, his other arm having hid behind his back. “I- I would truly like for you to- to stay with me if that’s alright?” He finished, his nerves making themselves known as he looked at me for my answer. 

I held up a finger and turned to run back inside to grab the overnight bag I had already packed earlier from where I had hung it in the feed room, his eyes following me in confusion as I went. I held up the bag high with a wide smile on my face, “good, because I already packed an overnight bag.” 

He let out a shaky sigh of the breath he had been holding, and pulled me into another hug.

“Thank you.” Came his soft murmur. 

——

I was on Copias sofa, already having changed into my sleep clothes, which were actually the same sweats and Dio T shirtCopia had given me the first time I stayed with him, going between watching him flit around his kitchen as he cooked dinner, and watching TV. He insisted on stopping to get some groceries on the way to his apartment and now that we made the extra stop, he had been working on dinner since. I would’ve thought that after traveling all day he’d have been tired and we would’ve just picked something up, but evidently that wasn’t the case. Whatever it was he was making, it smelled amazing, and my stomach was making it very clear that it was ready to eat.

“Hey Copia?” 

He turned his head to look at me, brows raised, still stirring whatever was in the pan. 

“Yes?” 

“Watcha making?” I stood and began making my way to the kitchen to join him.

“A dish I had the opportunity to try while I was away. When my employer sent me to Texas briefly I-“ 

He cut himself off when he felt my arms come around his stomach and my head rest between his shoulder blades. I felt him inhale sharply and wait a moment before he tried to speak again.

“I- it- they called it F- fajitas, which obviously exist elsewhere, b-but the style was different and-“ he was a stuttering mess, but I kept a loose hold on him, enjoying the feeling of being close to him and hearing his voice rumble in his chest as he spoke. 

He set the tongs he was using aside, turning off the heat before he asked shakily, “What- what are you doing, Lyza?” I reluctantly let him go and he turned to look at me. 

“What?” I smiled at the bewildered look plastered on his face, “I meant it when I said I missed you, you know?” 

He had a strange, intense look in his eye, looking at me silently for what felt like an eternity but I’m sure was actually just a few seconds before he spoke again. 

“There has not been a day that has passed when I did not think of you, I-“ he cut himself off again, distracted by the timer he had set going off. 

In no time he had everything plated, and it looked delicious. I was impressed at how he was able to cook something so well that he’d only had once and told him as much once we sat down to eat. He brushed it off, once again chalking it up to being just ‘something he picked up’” 

“So you were in Texas for a while?” I asked him between bites, curious. 

“Eh, yes- no- well, I was, briefly.” He thought for a moment, “A week or so maybe?”

“Is traveling a big part of your normal job then? Like when you’re not doing these classes or whatever?” 

“Sometimes. I can be at the eh... headquarters for months at a time, or they can send me to different cites for months at a time as well.” 

“You never actually said what it is you do, you know?” 

He tensed. I could already tell this must be a question he was going to evade. 

“I- It’s a position of... some authority, but not the top, obviously.” I assumed he was referring to how he was always being sent different places and given different assignments. 

“Ah, I see.” Not wanting to make him uncomfortable on his first night back, I dropped the subject. It was something I could always ask later on, and I was sure I’d find out eventually. 

After dinner, I sat on his bed, halfway under the covers already, watching him unpack his suitcase. 

“Hey, would you like to meet Sarah one day? Maybe we could have lunch or something soon. I’m sure she would love to meet you.” They of course had heard a lot about each other, being the two people I spent the most time with, but I just realized they never actually met. 

He paused what he was doing for a moment, looking somewhat frightened at my question. “If you would like to, but- do you think she would be okay with me? I know I am,” he struggled for a word before giving up and just gesturing at himself vaguely. 

I laughed a little and responded, “I’m sure she would, she’s okay with me and I’m,” I echoed his gesture at himself but on me, smiling at him.

He just nodded, stepping into the bathroom to change for bed. I found myself wondering what he usually slept in, since last time he did not change from the clothes he had wornearlier that day. 

_ Is he one of the guys that just sleeps shirtless? Or just in like, boxers? Or sweats? _

I felt my face heat and mentally slapped myself out of my thoughts. My question was answered momentarily when he came back out wearing pretty much the same as I was, grey sweatpants and and faded tee. He flipped off the light and I heard his footsteps come around to the side of the bed before I felt his weight cause the other side of the mattress to sink. When my eyes finally adjusted I saw him laying on his back, staring at the ceiling, seemingly lost in thought, but still much more relaxed and comfortable than that first night we spent together.

In a bold move that I hoped would be okay, I scooted myself over next to him, stretching an arm across his stomach and laying my head on his chest. In my mind I could just imagine the shocked look I was sure his features had arranged themselves into. After a few moments he slowly pulled his arm out from between us, and laid it across my back instead, returning the embrace. 

“Tesoro...” his voice was just barely above a whisper, and I could hear the emotion in it. I felt his heart racing. “Could I- could I take you out- could I take you out to dinner?” 

“Copia, we just ate dinner? And we have dinner together all the time, at least before you left? You don’t need to ask me?”

“N-no I mean, not- just dinner, I want- I want to- I want to do this properly, and-“ he struggled to get the words he wanted to ask out of his mouth, getting that far before it hit me what he was trying to say. 

“Copia? Are you trying to ask me on a date?”I craned my neck to look up at him as best I could from my place on his chest. 

His mouth opened and closed several times before anything came out. “I- I eh, I was just- eh, ...yes?” He finally got out, his voice coming out as a squeak. 

I smiled up at him, and gave him a squeeze. “I would love that.” 

When I laid my head back down he pulled me close, and if I didn’t know any better I could’ve sworn I felt him press a kiss into my hair as he breathed a quiet thank you into dark room. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you need me I will be dissociating and living in a fantasy world with my favorite satanists bc work was shit today 👋
> 
> Thank you so much for reading!


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sarah wants to know the details

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this ones kinda late I accident fell asleep while I was trying to fix the formatting on here lmao

I woke before Copia again, rubbing my eyes and rolling off him to grab my phone from the charger. As I expected, there was already texts from Sarah on the screen. 

_ 7:15 so? How’d it go? Did you reunite with your mystery man? _

_ 7:27 are you in his bed again?  _

_ 7:29 Well, yes, and yes _

_ 7:29 And before you ask, still just slept. _

_ 7:31 And? What else? You can’t tell me you pined after this guy for months, whining nonstop to me about “oh I fucked up and now he’s never gonna want to see me again,” and now that he’s back? Nothing? _

_ 7:32 well he made me dinner, we talked a little, and went to bed.  _

_ 7:33 Damn, that’s a let down _

I had saved the best for last.

_ 7:33 oh, and after we went to bed he asked me on a date ;) _

_ 7:33 HA I FUCKIN TOLD YOU SO LYZA _

I snorted when her text came in. 

_ 7:34 oh shut up  _

Getting up, I tiptoed out of the room, trying my best not to wake the still fast asleep man in the bed. Lucky for me he seemed to be a fairly heavy sleeper. I went to the kitchen to see what I could put together for breakfast, it seemed like it was only fair to make him breakfast since he had made me dinner after all. Now I was no chef, but I knew he had some eggs and bread at least, I remembered him getting some at the store last night, and I could at least manage that without fucking it up too badly. It might not be as nice of a meal as last night but it was better than nothing.

I dug through the cabinets for a pan and toaster, and took the butter out of the fridge to soften. As I worked on cracking the eggs and trying not to drop pieces of shell in, I thought about yesterday’s new development in our relationship, if we would even call it that. 

I knew I had come to care for him quite a bit, and I loved to spend time with him. His awkward personality always brought a smile to my face, something about the timing of his body language just amplified it I think. He’d say something absolutely ridiculous and then do a terrible job of explaining what exactly he meant, changing the word he was trying to say part way through saying it which only made it more amusing. I laughed to myself in the quiet of the kitchen, the only other sound being the fork I was using to beat the eggs with. Not to mention how caring and helpful he always was, especially when he was on a protective streak. 

He was still an an enigma though. He knew way more about me than I knew about him, and the more I found out about him the more questions I had, and the more questions I tried to ask the more he would avoid. I wished he would give me straight answers. A lot of the time he answered as though he was a child afraid to admit they’d broken their mothers favorite vase the way he’d clam up. It made me wonder if the cause of his reluctance to answer stemmed from whatever had caused his anxiety, if it was abusive parents, or a traumatic experience, or if he was just a naturally very anxious person. At this rate, I’d never find out though. One of these days I’d have to sit him down and get some real answers from him. 

When the food was nearly done, my thoughts were interrupted by the sound of the bedroom door swinging open quickly, a worried looking Copia on the other side. 

When he saw me, he let out a sigh of relief, tension dropping from his shoulders. At my questioning look he explained sheepishly, “I’m sorry, I was afraid I’d upset you, and that you had left.” 

“How could you have possibly upset me, you were asleep? And I couldn’t leave even if I wanted to, you drove me here remember?” 

I saw his eyes flick to his keys that were on their hook by the door and back to me. I had to refrain from rolling my eyes one I connected the dots of what he was thinking.

“Copia, I wouldn’t just _steal_ your car,” I laughed a little before continuing, “I can’t even drive a standard anyway, you know? You’re kinda stuck with me until you take me somewhere else.” 

“Right, right.” He ran his fingers through his still mussed bed head, walking around the couch to join me in the kitchen before asking, “Can I help you with anything?” 

“No, not really it’s just about done, and as you can see it’s just eggs and toast so all that’s left is plates” I shrugged, giving the scrambled eggs one final stir as Copia got the plates. 

——

He brought me home, helping me with the animals again before he left. He said he had to get stuff ready for the part II of intro to construction, which started up again tomorrow evening, gave me a quick hug goodbye, and took off. Why he was suddenly in such a hurry was a mystery to me, but then again, so were many other things about him. 

I spent the rest of my day off taking Bug out for a ride, playing with the goats, and just doing some general cleanup I had been putting off around the barn, raking up the loose hay from the feed room, knocking down cobwebs, all the little stuff that’s easy to put off. Once Sarah got off work we were gonna meet for dinner and drinks at the towns only bar so she could “hear the whole story.” She was evidently not satisfied with my text summary, but it may also have just been an excuse to hang out, which was fine by me. 

She already had a spot when I got to the bar and a drink in her hand as she saw me, beckoning me over with a grin. As soon as I sat down she spoke, getting straight to the point. 

“Alright, spill. I wanna know everythin’” 

“Uhhh.... well he got to my house, I gave him a hug, told him I missed him, you know,” I scanned my memory to make sure I wasn’t leaning anything important out, “he said he missed me too and called me something in Italian that I meant to look up-“ 

She cut me off, showing me a translator already open on her phone. “Ooooh! What did he say?!”

_ Damn, shes quick pulling that up. _

“Uh... tesoro?” I said butchering the pronunciation. 

“Oh my god, that’s so cute,” she showed me the screen with the translation, “ok go on.” 

“Then he asked me if I’d stay with him for the night, well I guess technically I asked him if he was bringing me back or not, but when I did, he asked if I would stay. He insisted on cooking and he didn’t have food at home obviously since he’d been gone so we stopped at the store, then he was cooking and said something about there “not being a day that has passed” where he hasn’t thought of me,”

Sarah’s eyebrows were raised and she was eying me suspiciously.

“Then he got cut off by the timer and never finished that, we ate, he said his boss sent him to Texas for a while, and he avoided the question again when I asked what he actually does.” 

Her eyebrows came back down from where they were nearly at her hairline, furrowing as she narrowed her eyes in disbelief. “Wait you still don’t even know who he works for? You’ve known each other for like, months?” 

“I know, I try to ask about him, and he always just like tenses up and gives a vague answer or none at all.” The bartender just brought my drink, and I took a big sip.

“Doesn’t that scare you? Like how do you know he’s not like, a serial killer using a fake identity who goes into hiding for months at a time? Don’t you worry about  why  he keeps so much from you?” 

I thought for a moment. She was right, it did worry me somewhat what he was hiding but I knew he would never hurt me. Half the time he was afraid to even touch me, and there were days when if a repair we were working on or whatever we were doing for the day had even the _slightest_ risk of injury or danger to it he would refuse to let me do it. Even if one of the guys at the hardware store talked down to me at all he’d always magically show up and tell them politely to fuck off. Not that I _needed_ him to do any of that, I could hold my own just fine, but those were not very murderous behaviors if you ask me. “Well yeah, sort of, but I guess I figure if he was gonna kidnap me or some shit, he’d have done it already. And why would a murderer spend months helping their next victim rebuild a farm?” 

She burst into laughter. “You’re right, you’re right, so what happened after dinner?” 

I shrugged, “Nothing I didn’t already tell you, we got ready for bed, he unpacked, I may have been uhhh ...laying on his chest for a while, and then he asked me to dinner, and that was it.” 

She spent the rest of the night trying to convince me that he must be _madly in love_ with me and that I needed to find out for sure before I broke his heart if I did not feel the same for him. A fair point really, but she had gotten a little carried away.


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is kinda short, much like their date

After a week of waiting, the night of Copia and I’s ‘date’ has finally come. To say I was excited was an understatement. I couldn’t even remember the last time I had been on a date, and whenever it was, it was probably in my college days with some roughy I met at a rodeo or something. I had butterflies in my stomach that simply would not sit still, and I had been changing between my three decent outfits for nearly an hour, unable to decide on which. After some mental deliberation, I ended up opting for the one I could still wear my boots with since it was a stormy night and I absolutely despised having wet feet.  


Copia hadn’t told me where we were going, other than to a restaurant in the bigger city that was about 45 minutes away. I sat on my sofa for a few minutes, drumming my fingers against my knee before I finished dressing, shoving my less dirty pair of boots onto my feet. Checking my phone for any texts and finding none, I went back to sitting on the couch, drumming my fingers. I sat impatiently for another couple of minutes before I decided Ishould probably go pack my little overnight bag, figuring that if everything went well I’d most likely be staying with him tonight. 

Right on time I heard the rumble of the Thunderbirds engine in between the claps of thunder, followed by a timid knock on the door. I opened it to reveal a nervous Copia, dressed in a fitted black suit, holding out an umbrella for me. He gave a little bow before he spoke. 

“Good evening, Lyza, are you- are you ready to go?” 

I smiled and nodded my assent, and took his offered his arm as he walked me to the car. 

“Y-you look beautiful tonight, I mean, y- you eh...always look beautiful but tonight you look-“ he let out a frustrated sigh and ran his free hand through his hair before looking at me, “Ah, you know what I mean.“ 

I felt a tightness in my chest at his compliment. It felt good to hear that, especially from some whose opinion I actually cared about, and I was relieved that my effort getting ready had paid off. 

“And you’re looking very handsome tonight as well,” I countered and gave him a friendly punch in the arm, he choked on the air, flushing before uttering a soft thank you. 

“I am sorry about the weather tesoro, I wish I could send these storms away.” He said once we made it to the car, again apologizing for something that he had no control over. 

“So where are we going?” I asked him as he put the car in drive, curious if he would tell me or wait for me to see when we got there. 

“I- I was hoping to surprise you, so I am keeping that a secret for now.” 

I figured as much and nodded, watching the lighting flash outside the window. After a few minutes I thought I’d get his opinion on something I’d been considering now that I finally had some money saved from work.

“Hey, so I’ve been thinking.”

Copia eyes bounced between me and the road, “About?” 

“About using the money I’ve got saved to get that old truck fixed, see if I can start rodeoing again, see if I can make it to the pay window, make some money, you know?” 

“You should, I know you’ve said you missed it.” He always encouraged me without hesitation. It was sweet.

“Yeah, I really do.” My voice was tinged with sadness and he looked at me, concerned. “It’s just been so long since I’ve done it now, I’m afraid Bug and I are out of practice.” My worst fear was going and entering, and making an embarrassing stupid mistake from not having done it in so long. Not only that, but a mistake could be dangerous, both for me and Bug. If my balance was off as Bug dug in to turn a barrel, I could easily throw his balance off as well and cause him to slip and fall on both me and the metal of the barrel, which would be bad news for both of us. 1100 pounds of horse falling on  anything was scary, not to mention 1100 pounds of horse  _ running at top speed _ into the fall. Not only that, but if my mind wasn’t where it needed to be in the roping, I could lose a finger in a second.

Copia’s voice pulled me from my thoughts.“Ah, I understand. Not-not the eh- rodeo world, but the fear of being out of practice then having to perform under pressure.” 

He sounded like he was referring to something, but I was not sure what he meant. “You sound like you speak from experience.” 

“I do.” He said simply.

I looked at him, waiting for an explanation that did not come. His eyes staying glued to the slick road now.

“You’re always so secretive, you know?” I laughed a little and continued, “What’s the story behind it?” 

This time his eyes stayed on the road as he chose his words carefully. “I eh... I have doneand stopped doing many things in my life, and a lot of them I have found come up again, years later, and were still imperative that I got them right.” 

_Jeez, he always talks like he’s a million years older than he actually is._

The click of the turn signal as we turned onto the two lane road between my town and the city filled the brief silence before he continued. “Your hand was one.” 

Confused I looked at him, one eyebrow raised. “Huh?”

“Your hand- it had been years since I had done any eh... anything of the eh... medical sort.” He held his own hand out to me. “Do you see the scar, nearly the same place as yours?” 

I took his hand and held it closer to my face, trying to see in the dark. Once my eyes adjusted, I found a thin scar I’d never noticed across the center of his hand.“I’ve never even noticed you had that before.” I looked back up at him.

“I stitched it myself, many years ago, which was a _real fucking challenge_ to do with one hand let me tell you,” he said through a chuckle, “and have not had to use what I have learned in the medical field since then- until you at least.” 

“What happened, like, why’d you need stitches in the first place anyway?” 

“I eh, we were installing a window, the man who was supposed to be holding it lost his grip, and me being an idiot, tried to catch the falling glass.” 

I felt bad for laughing at his misfortune, but I did. 

He looked at me and smiled before giving a dismissive wave with the hand that wasn’t on the wheel. “Anyways, what I was trying to say was that I am sure you will do fine. And if you’d like to- maybe we can find somewhere around here for you to ride, to practice some once that truck is fixed if that would help?” 

I was touched by his offer, and his willingness to help me with something he knew little about. It was a good idea as well if there was somewhere available. Id have to ask around. I knew more people around here than Copia did so he’d probably do some googling, he could manage that technology-wise at least.  


Before it slipped my mind again I asked, “I still don’t even know when your birthday is, you know?”  


If I hadn’t been watching him closely, I’d have missed the almost imperceptible widening of his eyes. He was quiet for a while before he mumbled out “April 9” like he hoped I wouldn’t hear. He was doing all the same things he always did when he was avoiding my questions, which puzzled me. Asking someone when their birthday was isn’t really a particularly invasive question. He’d have to have it listed in public records and in pretty much every official document. I was sure if I really tried I could find it online somewhere, and if I couldn’t Sarah could. She had a talent for snooping people out if she needed to, although she usually just did it before she met anyone on a date or something. Literally all I’d have to do was find his drivers license next time I woke before him, which could be as soon as tomorrow morning.   
  


“So April 9 of when though, l know you’re not as old as you act sometimes, but I’m pretty sure you’re older than me, I just can’t pin how much?” I prompted him again, reluctant to drop the subject so easily for something that I couldn’t see any reason why he would have to keep a secret. His job maybe, yeah. He could be like in some top secret government agency I guess, but his birthday?

He struggled for words, stuttering a few false starts before he just said “Y-You’d be correct in guessing that I am older than you.”   
  


_Alrighty then, guess I’m not getting an answer for that either. We are really gonna need to have a talk, sooner rather than later.  
  
_

“Alright, fine for now, but I’m not letting you off the hook that easy,” I pointed a finger at him for emphasis, “Theres some things I think I will need answered soon so uh, get ready for a grilling I guess.”  


  
I tried to ignore how frightened he looked about that and we talked about random subjects for a while longer before falling into a comfortable silence, the sound of the old radio and the rumbles of thunder filling the vehicle. Today he had it on a station that was playing some some older sounding rock and roll, some I recognized and some I didn’t. I had to hold back from screeching along to the ones I knew. It wouldn’t do for Copia to think he was taking a damn banshee on a date.

The last thing I remembered before the sudden flash of headlights and screech of tires was listening, impressed, as Copia started to almost unconsciously quietly sing a line along with the song on the radio, but more melodically, and not quite matching the rhythm of the song that was playing, before he was cut off by a flash of headlights in front of us, the screech of tires, and everything going black. His voice still echoing in my mind, “ _The moon to the left is a part of my thoughts and a part of me is me..._ ” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lyza meets Papa, he delivers some news

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ayyyyy here’s a long boi for y’all! Thank you for reading!

I woke up in a hospital attached to all kinds of beeping machines, and I was in a total panic. I had no idea where I was. I had no idea where Copia was. All I could think of were the small flashes of what had happened. The car sliding off the wet road from Copias efforts to avoid a full head on collision with the car that came into our lane. The shock of the impact where the other car hit the front drivers side corner, launching us into a roll. The brief image of Copia, eyes glazed over and unmoving, slumped against the steering wheel, blood trickling from his mouth and nose. The searing pain of the spray of broken glass and how hard I had to fight to draw a breath. 

As it all came back to me, I couldn’t stop the sobs that came. Each one causing my chest to burn like it was on fire. All I wanted was for Copia to be okay, I kept telling myself that I didn’t actually see him there, surely dead on the steering wheel of his beloved T-bird that was now damaged past the point of no return. Guilt consumed me as I realized if he hadn’t swerved the way he did it would’ve been my side of the car that took the brunt of the impact, and he would still be here, not me. I couldn’t stand to think about him being gone, just when I thought I’d finally found someone who I’d stay around for a long time, someone who cared about me as much as I cared about them. Even with all of his secrecy, he was a really good man, and now I was sure he was gone. I never even got to say goodbye. I don’t know how long I laid there, sobbing and unable to really move until I passed out again. 

The next time I woke I had to stifle a scream. There was a man sitting in the chair nearby the bed, his face painted with a somewhat cartoonish black and white skull, wearing the full garb of a Pope but gold, black and purple, and all of the crosses on his vestments were upside down. I was sure I must have been hallucinating. 

_ Am I dead? Am I in hell? Why would they have a hospital in hell though? Were they wrong about the appearance of the grim reaper? Is that him, here to take me down with him? _

When he noticed I had woke, he looked from whatever he was doing on his phone up at me. How he was even using it with leather gloves on was beyond me, and only contributed to the surreal feeling. I felt my heart start beating frantically. One of his eyes was unnaturally white. “Am I- am I dead?” I hesitantly asked him, voice sounding like I’d taken a cheese grater to the inside of my throat.

A wide smile spread across his face, “No no no, you are very much alive! Welcome back to the world of the conscious- your name is Lyza, yes?” 

I nodded, shocked at the mans velvety smooth voice, and that he knew my name. 

“Well then, welcome back to the world of the conscious Lyza! I would ask you how you are doing but,” he gestured vaguely at the room, “I am afraid we already know the answer to that. Yes. We will have you fixed up in no time though, do not worry, ok?” 

I had no idea who he was, why he was dressed like he thought he was the _fucking pope_ , or how the hell he knew me, but if he had found me, maybe he had found Copia as well. I had to ask. I dreaded the answer, but some sick part of my brain had to hear it for sure, had to hear him confirm it.

“When we- when we crashed, my-“ I tried to think of the best way to describe him, “my boyfriend was driving, is he- is he-“ I couldn’t bring myself to finish the sentence. 

The other man seemed to know who I was talking about, and his eyebrows shot up almost all the way into his hat.

“Aaaah, boyfriend, he will like to hear that, yes,” he said to himself, chuckling before continuing, “Is he here?  _ Yes_. Is he dead?  _ Also yes_.” The man said flippantly, and I suddenly felt like the room was closing in on me. It felt like a huge boulder just dropped onto my chest. I couldn’t breathe and another sob tore through my throat. 

The man held his hands out in a placating manner, the look of shock on his face showing he only just then realized he had said the very wrong thing. “No no no, do not cry, do not cry, Copia, he is like a cockroach in this way, you cannot kill him, and when you do he just comes back, yes?” 

He had to have seen the look of utter confusion and devastation on my face from him calling my now dead boyfriend a  _ cockroach _ only seconds after confirming his death. 

The man backpedaled, taking my hand in his leather gloved one, “You did not know this? He did not tell you...?” He gestured at his body like I was supposed to know what it meant before he let out a breath of disappointment. “He will be unhappy with me if I tell you, so I cannot tell you, but! I will tell you this: do not worry, he will be back in a few days, yes? I promise. And in the meantime, we will take care of you here, and you will be as good as new very soon.” 

I didn’t understand what he could possibly mean the way he kept saying he’d be back like he was just on a weekend trip or just went on an extended errand. It didn’t make any sense to me but trying to figure it out made my head hurt, so I chalked it up to misunderstanding caused by the concussion I was sure I had. I was staring at the peculiar gold pointed nails that were on the outside of his gloves before I looked back up at him, “Where is- where is here? And who are you? How do you know me?”

The mans face lit up again, “Ah, you are in my church, Lyza, the chosen church of Satan himself!” He let go of my hand to spread his arms in a grand gesture, “Most people know us as being the church with the  very cool _Grammy winning_ rock band,” he mimed a guitar, then drums, “I’m sure you have heard of us, no? Ghost? You know, we did the song,” he took a breath, putting one hand on his chest and quietly singing a melodic line while his eyes burned into mine,“Can’t you see that you’re lost? Cant you see that you’re lost without me?” I had blank look on my face, he really did have a good voice, but I didn’t recognize what he was singing. “Ahhh, of course you have heard of us, the band that your boyfriend replaced me in, yes?” 

“What the hell are you talking about?” My voice rose briefly before the pain kicked back in and I winced, laying back in the bed. 

_ Surely Copia would’ve mentioned being in a band? Especially a good one? People were normally proud of those things weren’t they?  _

“Cardinal is your boyfriend, and you do not know this? When he was on tour for months recently, he did not say where he went?” 

“N-no? Cardinal?  What? ” I was completely lost. The more words came out of this mans mouth the more confused I became. 

_Are we sure we are talking about the same person? Is my mind really that muddled right now?_

The odd pope man held up his phone, an article version of the news story I had completely forgotten about until now on the screen. The same photo I had seen on the TV, but with the caption: ‘Cardinal Copia, lead singer of Ghost’ 

“Looks familiar, no?” He shrugged, tilting his head.

My jaw dropped as I suddenly remembered the first email I received for the first session of the class. 

_ Instructor: C. Copia _

_ Holy shit. C as in Cardinal, not C as a first initial. I’m such an idiot, why did I never even ask his first name? _

“Oh my god.” A new reason that I was sick to my stomach was added to the already extensive list. It was too much. As if it was not enough of a traumatic experience already, I now had a Satanic pope visiting me in my hospital bed, telling me not to worry because my boyfriend that I had seen dead with my own eyes only yesterday would be ‘back in a few days’, and that he had been hiding from me not only the fact that he is an important figure in a fucking _satanic church_ , but also that he left because he was actually the lead singer of a _touring satanic rock band._ Of all the possible things I’d imagined would’ve been what he was hiding, none were even remotely close to this.

I had no idea how to even comprehend what was happening to me. I was supposed to be waking up in Copia’s bed, snuggled up and warm, after a nice dinner date, not in a hospital inside of a Satanic church. I couldn’t help but wonder what else was being hidden from me. I didn’t know what to believe. I now needed an explanation from a  _ dead man _ . I felt my throat closing up, making it harder to breathe than it already was. All I could hear was my heart pounding in my ears, I barely registered the pope mans mouth moving and the worried look on his face before everything went black again. 

The next several days were a blur, and much of the time I was not sure if I was really awake or if it was a dream. What had happened was so bizarre even the times I knew for certain I was awake I could swear I was not. I wanted to go home, badly. I was worried about Bug and the goats. I was tired of the constant half awake feeling dream state I was in. There was no way any of this could be real. Absolutely no way. It had to be just a crazy fever dream, and I’d soon wake up for real back at home, everything back to normal.

The pope man, who I have since learned was referred to as Papa, assured me that they were being taken care of, saying that the church got a call the day after the crash from someone looking for me, and the caller who I assumed must’ve been Sarah, wanted me not to worry until I was well again. If my phone hadn’t also gone missing, presumably thrown from the vehicle in the crash, I would’ve texted her by now. 

It was nearly a week since I had arrived, and I was losing what little hope I had that I would ever see Copia again. Yes, I was very hurt and angry at him, but that didn’t mean I didn’t want him to be okay. I would at least give him a chance to explain why he kept all of this from me, which better be a  _ damn _ good reason. That is at least if I ever really _did_ see him again and Papa had really been telling the truth when he said he would be back, whatever the fuck that meant. The only plus side of being stuck here was it gave me time to think and try to comprehend everything I’d learned over the past week, but some of it still seemed too outrageous to be true. 

My wait was finally over when I woke late the next day. I felt the feather light touch of a leather gloved hand in my subconscious, brushing my hair back from where it had fallen in my face as I slept, followed by the gentle press of lips to my hairline. The creak of a chair. A quiet, familiar voice sadly whispering “ _Tesoro_ ” before the telltale hitched breathing of someone who was crying. A hand holding mine. It had to have been nearly ten minutes before my mind realized it was not another crazy dream, and my eyes shot open.

When Copia saw my eyes open he jumped out of the chair and away from me, nearly falling over himself in the process, and I’m sure had I not been lying down I would’ve done the same at the sight of him. He was wearing a black cassock with an upside down cross necklace, wide black sash around his waist, black biretta with a bat like wing, his face painted as it was in the news story, and his eye that was normally a slightly lighter shade of green than the other was now a stark white. That would take a lot of getting used to, but looking back it felt like it should’ve been obvious. I knew he wore contacts, and if I’d just looked closer, or opened the case that day it would’ve given it away. It was like looking at a different person, one who definitely looked the part of what I’d imagine a satanic Cardinal would look like. Oddly enough the robes and look seem to fit him perfectly, like it was something he’d always been, and it now made all the images I had of him in my mind seem like he had been playing dress up. It was a  very  strange thing to experience.

I could tell he was terrified. His hands were shaking so badly he couldn’t keep them still even fisted together, and he had taken to clutching the fabric of his cassock in a desperate attempt to still them. There were tears falling silently from his eyes and his breathing was coming in short fast bursts. I briefly wondered how it didn’t mess up the black paint on his face.

“Lyza...” 

“Don’t.” I knew he was about to apologize, and I didn’t want apologies, I wanted an explanation. Now. 

“You need to explain. Why the _hell_ did you hide this” I waved my hand at his outfit, “from me. How the  _ fuck  _ are you sitting here. I saw you dead. _I_ _saw you dead._ ”  My voice cracked as I said it and I could feel my eyes tearing up. It was a sight I would not ever forget. 

He started to fiddle with the glittery necklace he was wearing, and looked down at his shoes. “I- I am so-“

“STOP” My voice was only a few decibels short of a yell. Copia flinched and shrank away from me like a beaten dog with its tail between its legs, so I tried to lower it back to a more normal level before I continued, my voice stern, “Sorry is not gonna cut it Copia, don’t even try. I don’t want to hear it.” 

His mouth opened and closed several times as it did when he struggled to get his words together. 

“I- I was afraid.” He took a shaky, deep breath and was silent for a while before continuing, “I have been... turned away from many things, frightened many people in my life because of this,” he gestured at his now-white eye, “and I- I came to care for you sooner that I believe you imagine.” His face flushed a light tinge of red for a moment. “The last thing I wanted was to scare you away by telling you what I truly was. You were the first true friend I’ve had in... longer than I can admit.” 

“You  _ know _ me. You _know_ I’m not one of those people that is superstitious and runs at the drop of a hat. You could’ve told me, Copia! It would’ve been better than fucking finding out like this, from a guy dressed as the fucking Pope while I’m in a hospital bed!” 

“I- I- I didn’t- not until it was too late to explain- I-“ he stuttered and put a hand over his face as it scrunched up like he was in pain.

“What!?” My anger was spiking again and my patience was nearly non-existent.

He sniffled, wiping at his eyes. “The people who live there, the small towns- you know that- that they are ...very religious. I couldn’t- I couldn’t tell you who I was, the church couldn’t put their name on the flyers, nobody would have signed up. I- I was afraid you would be like them and if I told you-“ his shoulders dropped, defeated. “I know you do not want to hear this, but I am truly sorry. I am a coward. I know I shouldn’t have kept it from you. It was wrong of me. By the time I knew you well enough, I had already kept it a secret for so long I couldn’t figure out how to tell you of who I truly am.” He finished, looking down again.

It was a reasonable explanation I supposed, better than I expected his excuse to be at least. I didn’t like it but I understood. He was unfortunately very right that farmers and ranchers and rodeo people tended to be extremely religious in general, becoming angry or shying away at the slightest mention of the one below. For all he knew I’d be the same way I guess. It helped to dissipate some of my anger, but it didn’t hurt any less to find out that he didn’t trust me, at least back then. I took a few minutes to calm down and think before I gave the man a heart attack. 

I spoke much more quietly the next time. “That does not explain how you are sitting here, very much  alive , in this room with me. I know in that car- you were- you were dead on impact, Papa confirmed that you were as soon as I woke up, so how?” 

He was silent again for a long time, spaced out like he hadn’t even heard me. Finally swallowed and spoke again, hesitantly.

“I-It is a long story, and I will tell you, I promise you that, but please, can it- can it- wait until you are cleared to leave this room?” 

Confused and worried as to why it mattered I asked him, “What difference does it make? I obviously have time here, it’s not like I can go anywhere else, or have anything better to do? Why the hell does it need to wait?” 

He looked down again and, took off his biretta, threading his fingers through his hair before he answered so quietly I had to strain to hear him. 

“I-it is a hard story for me to tell, and the last time I had to explain it to someone I lov- that I cared about it- it didn’t-“ he let out a frustrated sigh and met my eyes, “I am afraid I will have an attack, and I won’t be able to stop it, I- you’ve seen it happen to me before, but” he looked around at the people who walked by through the cracks of the curtains.

“But everyone else hasn’t?” I finished for him, seeing where he was going. 

He looked up at me briefly and gave an almost imperceptible nod before he closed his eyes and sighed, “I will give you your space.” 

I watched his cassock flow around him as set his hat back on his head and left, desperately wishing I could talk to Sarah. Maybe her mind would be clear enough to actually think and to give me advice. 

_ Maybe I can ask one of the sister nurses to borrow one, I think I have her number memorized.  _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I just had to do the whole almost admission thing lol, It was in my favorite fic of all time and it gave me the big feels when I read it  
> It was waaaay better executed there tho 😅  
> If you’ve read haphephobia then you know lol 
> 
> Anyways thank y’all again for reading!


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another visit from Papa, who can’t keep his mouth shut, and a talk with Sarah

As I laid there in that hospital bed, I couldn’t stop my mind from worrying about what could possibly be so distressing that Copia couldn’t tell me here. I was working myself up to the point where I starting to think I should just get myself out of here before whatever he told me made me regret all the good memories we had made, keep them safe and locked away where they could stay safe as untarnished good memories forever. I really wasn’t even sure where exactly here was either, I knew it was not my town, I would’ve known about a massive satanic church operating there, and I assumed it wasn’t too far from where we crashed if this is where we were brought when we were found. 

My thoughts were interrupted by the appearance of Papa, who had been visiting regularly since I had woken up. He was a story all on his own, his huge personality and charismatic friendly nature made him easy to talk to. He had been a friend through all this craziness so far, and I was glad to see him.

“Lyzaaa, how are you doing today? Feeling a little better each day, yes?” He took a seat in the chair Copia had occupied earlier, crossing his legs. This time he wasn’t in his Papal robes, but the only other outfit I had ever seen him in, a somewhat baggy black suit and white shirt, with the churches logo on his chest. 

“Physically yes, mentally no.” I explained with a sigh. 

He tilted his head, brow furrowed. “Mentally no? What’s up? What happened?” He paused for a second then held up a finger and spoke again as soon as I opened my mouth to answer. “Ah I bet Cardi came to see you didn’t he.”

I nodded. “He did.”

“Ah ha! I told you he would be back! You see? I would not lie to you!” He exclaimed excitedly as he reached out and patted me on the arm before his face fell, and he paused again at the lack of excitement on my face. “This does not make you happy? That your lover is not dead?” 

“I don’t think he is my lover, Papa. And it’s not that I am not glad he is alive, its the fact that I don’t know how the  _ fuck  _ he is still here when the image of him on that damn steering wheel will haunt me for the rest of my life.” I pulled myself up into a sitting position. “He wouldn’t explain it either. He said he is afraid to explain it to me here, and that scares me. What the hell could he possibly have to say that he can’t even make himself say it here?”

Papa’s painted face contorted in thought, and he rested his chin on the hand he had propped on his knee. 

“You should not be afraid. He is afraid because he is afraid of everything,” he laughed a little before he continued, “and he is afraid you will hate him when he tells you his story like his fiancé did.” 

I couldn’t have heard him correctly, Copia had never  once mentioned even having been in another relationship at all, let alone having been prepared to marry someone. The hurt increased tenfold and my heart dropped, another thing added to the list that he has kept hidden from me. 

“His- his fiancé? _Please_ tell me this is an ex?” My voice came out small.

“ _Merda_ ,  he has not told you that either!?” Papa seemed surprised, and a little bit angry. “And yes, an ex. _Very_ ex. Many many years ago.” 

“No, Papa, he hasn’t. He has told me next to nothing about himself.” My eyes filled with tears as I tried to think of exactly how much, or how little I knew, but I was able to keep them at bay this time. “I know he can build stuff, I know he knows how to ride, is a good cook, and knows how to do stitches for some fucking reason, that he had a friend who died from something on his hand, and that he has some pretty bad anxiety, but that’s it. He always avoids my questions. He wouldn’t even tell me how old he is.”

“Ah. I will give you the abridged version, it is not truly my story to tell, but you should know, it will help I think. He was pretty fucked up when he told me, and he didn’t even love me like he loves you.” He laughed before adding, “To be fair, we were both drunk, and he already wasn’t in a good place when we found him though.” 

_ When they found him? Will I ever find out something that doesn’t just add more fucking questions? _

“Alrighty then, long story short- maaaany years ago, back when he was a stableboy, he fell in love with the landowners daughter in secret, ended up asking her to marry him when he thought she loved him enough to look past his eh...” he waved his hand in the air looking for a word, “issues, she said yes, then he told her, and she ran. Said she went back to the estate screaming bloody murder waking the whole place and claiming that he had done inappropriate things to her. It really fucked him up and until you, he hasn’t really had any friends or relationships so to speak, keeps to himself, hangs out with me sometimes, sometimes my brother, but over the years he has become like family to us, so that doesn’t count. We do share some good qualities though, no?” He pointed at his left eye and smiled. 

_ Oh.  _

I wasn’t sure how to respond to what Papa had just told me. It made sense now why he wouldn’t tell me earlier, he was afraid I would scream at him too, and he didn’t want to have a breakdown in front of the entire infirmary when I did. I put my head in my hands. I had no idea what to do from here. I needed to know what could be so bad that would cause that kind of reaction, but I was honestly now  more afraid of the answer. At least his reasoning seemed valid.

“Papa, is there a phone I could borrow to call someone?” 

He looked confused momentarily before producing his phone from his pocket and handing it to me. “The passcode is 666, I’ll come back and get it later, I assume you would like some privacy?” 

I rolled my eyes at his choice of passcode, but thanked him for letting me borrow it, and he made his exit. 

It rang twice before Sarah picked up.

“Hello? Who is this?” 

“It’s me, Sarah. I borrowed a phone since mine is gone.” 

“Lyza? Oh my god! Are you okay?!” 

She was shouting into the phone and I had to pull it away from my ear. 

“Honestly I could be better, but I am getting there. I just needed to talk to you. I have no idea what to do.” 

“What’s goin’ on?” 

“I need some help to figure out what I should do about Copia. The longer I am here the more things I find out about him that he should have told me but never did. Like, big things. I’m guessing you already know where I am, they told me you called the church?” 

“Yeah, I didn’t hear from you at all after that night, you didn’t show up to work, you weren’t at your house, and I don’t know where Copia lives, so I tried to find Copias contact info through the college, but I got the church instead. They told me you were in an accident, and that you were found and in their care, but not in good shape. I’m so glad you called, I’ve been worried!” 

I let out a bitter laugh. “Not in good shape was a bit of an understatement. I am  still in the hospital they have here, internal bleeding, concussion, and broken ribs they said. It was bad. Really bad. Copia- he died on impact.” 

I heard Sarah gasp. “Lyza... I am so sorry.” 

“Don’t be. That is part of what I need advice on.”

“What do you mean?” 

“I mean that I  saw him dead _with my own eyes_ , and less than 30 minutes ago, he was fucking  sitting next to me talking to me.” 

She was uncharacteristically quiet for a minute. “Lyza I think you should see if they have a counselor or psychiatrist you can talk to.” She sounded worried. “It does not sound like you’re handlin’ his passing well at all, which is totally understandable.” 

“No, that won’t be necessary.” 

“Don’t be stubborn about this, if you are hallucinating that is really fuckin’ not good” 

“That’s the thing, he was not a hallucination.I felt him brush his fingers in my hair. I felt him hold my hand and kiss me. I heard him crying. I talked to him, and he was  terrified  to tell me how the fuck he is here and not six feet under right now.” 

“That doesn’t make sense.” 

“I  _ know _ . I know it doesn’t! Nothing does anymore! You know what Papa just said to me too?” 

“Papa?” 

_ Shit, maybe she didn’t know as much about where I was as I thought. _

“How much did you find out about the church when you called them?” 

“Um....That it was a church, and that they had a hospital they had you in?” 

_ So she doesn’t yet know the biggest most important discerning fact about this place. _

“It’s a Satanic church Sarah. They worship the devil. Papa is like their pope, and he’s been visiting me every day since I woke up.” 

“What the _fuck_ , Lyza. You sure know how to get into fuckin’ weird ass situations don’t you?” 

_ You don’t know the half of it yet.  _ I thought to myself, continuing.

“You know how I never knew what Copia did for work?”

“Yeah?”

“Turns out he’s pretty much second in command here, under Papa, and he never thought he should tell me. He’s a fucking  _ Cardinal _ .” 

“Holy shit.”

If she thought that was shocking, she should see what else he did too. I thought it would be best fo her to see for herself.

“No hold on, it doesn’t stop there, look up the band Ghost, tell me what you see.” 

Maybe 30 seconds later her response came.

“Holy shit. That’s him isn’t it?” I could hear the shock in her voice through the phone.

“Yes, and he never thought to mention the fact that he’s like, some kind of fucking  satanic rock star to me either! Do you see what I can’t process right now? I don’t know if I can just let it go that he didn’t tell me this shit?” 

“Yeah Lyz, that’s- that’s- I don’t even know what that is honestly.” 

“What should I do?”

“Tell him he better have a really fuckin good reason for hiding that from you, give him a chance to explain, and go from there I guess.” 

“I tried that already, when he was here earlier. He said he thought I’d run if he told me about the whole satanic church thing given the town we live in and the way people are here, you know?” I explained what he told me so far. 

She was quiet for a minute. “Well I mean, I don’t like it, but I guess that part is understandable at least. Still should’ve told you though. Asshole.” 

Finally getting back to what I was trying to tell her about Papa, I started again, just dropping it on her like it was dropped on me.

“Papa told me he was engaged, and his now ex-fiancé I guess was... appalled enough to leave him right after she said yes when he explained to her whatever the deal is with him. Which, on top of being another thing he never mentioned, scares me. What if it really is that bad? I’ll end up with that skin crawling feeling just thinking about him, and I don’t want that. Should I just leave, and save myself from hearing it, and stay blissfully ignorant? Or should I listen, and find out why so I don’t end up wondering for the rest of my life?” 

“I think you should hear him out.” A pause. “Think of it this way, what if it really isn’t  that  bad? Some people are just big babies about stuff. Maybe you’re overthinking it? Take a few deep breaths and think about if for a second.” 

She waited for me to do so before she spoke again. 

“If you leave him, and you never find out, you could be missing out on a good man. I know you care about him, you’re always smiling when you tell me the things y’all did when y’all are together, and every time you are apart all you talk about is seeing him again.” 

She gave me another chance to speak before she kept going.

“He seems to feel the same way about you, and if you know where I can find any other men who are as polite, happy to hang around and drive you around everywhere, rebuild all kind of random shit, take care of you and your animals, and make you as happy as he does share that fuckin’ list with me.”

I sighed. “You are right I guess. He’s- I don’t know what I would do if I never could talk to him again. When I thought he was gone I- I couldn’t handle it. I felt like someone stabbed me in the heart, like I couldn’t breathe, I-“

A terrifying thought came to me right in that moment. 

“I think I’m in love with him Sarah.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So the next couple might not be on time, I’m helping take care of a bunch of horses goats and a few lambs while a friend is away this week and it takes a good portion of the day but I’ll try! Also might re write the next couple too idk if I like how they came out ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ 
> 
> Thanks for reading!


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lyza gets out of the hospital and Papa brings her up to have a talk with Copia.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait!

I hadn’t seen hide nor hair of Copia since the first day he visited me. Papa had said yesterday he was hiding away in his room and “avoiding people like the plague,” Which seemed like it was supposed to have been a joke the way he laughed when he said it, but I didn’t get it. I was already dressed in one of the pairs of sweats and big faded old concert t-shirts that Papa brought from wherever Copias room was the other day, saying that he shoved them into his hands and asked that they be brought to me so I’d have something comfortable to change into once I got the ok to not be stuck with a hospital gown. I appreciated the thought, but it would’ve been nice if he’d just brought them himself. The good news was they were finally discharging me today and I was both excited to get out and nervous to go talk to Copia. I sat on the edge of the bed, picking imaginary lint of the light blue blanket as I waited for my ‘tour guide’ as he called himself.

I could tell he was coming before he even appeared in my line of sight from the chorus of ‘Good morning, Papa! How are you doing, Papa? Can I help you with anything, Papa?’, that came from what sounded like every single nurse in the place trying desperately to get even the slightest second of his attention. I rolled my eyes. Sure, he wasn’t bad to look at, but the way all of the siblings carried on they acted like he was fucking Adonis for gods sake. Papa just stroked the flames and gave it right back to them, reveling attention.

Finally making it to me, he greeted me with his signature winning smile. “Good morning Lyzaaaa! Excited to finally get to get the hell out of this room, eh?” 

I stood, raising an eyebrow at him. “Do you really need to ask?”

“You never know?” He shrugged. 

“Does he even know we are coming? Does he even care?” Bitterness crept into my voice. 

He put his gloved hands on my shoulders and tilted his head, “Of course he does. He may be hiding himself away but he is constantly asking about you. And he cares about you more than I have seen him care for... well anything in the century I’ve known him.” 

“The  _ century _ ? Papa I think the word you’re looking for is decade, a century is a hundred years!” His mistake made me chuckle. He did seem to have words switched around in translation sometimes. 

He gave me a look before waving his hand. “Ah, no, well- Yes, yes. That must be what I meant. You are ready to go, yes?” Papa confirmed as we started walking down the hallway. I nodded and looked around, trying to take in my surroundings as we went. Once we made it out of the infirmary wing, I started to notice several beings with masks and  tails.  I looked to Papa for an explanation.

“Uhhh, Papa? Why do those people have _tails_?” 

“Ah, those are the ghouls,” He laughed and leaned close to my ear like he was going to tell me a secret, “‘those people’ have tails because _they_ _aren’t people_.” 

I had seen photos of the ‘ghouls’ in the band that Copia played with, and they definitely  _ did not _ have tails. “But the ones in the band don’t...? What do you mean they  aren’t people? What else are they? They’re clearly not like... I don’t know cats or sheep or whatever.” 

“They do, they just hide them. The normal rules of... the physical do not apply do them. They are demons.” He said simply, like he was telling me it was partly cloudy today instead of telling me there were  _ demons _ only feet away from me.

“Demons? What- Actually I’m not even gonna ask, I’ve had enough supernatural surprises already to last me the rest of my life. I’ll uh, deal with that later, I guess.” 

Papa just shrugged, “suit yourself” and started up a third flight of stairs.   
  


He stopped me at the top of the fourth flight with a hand on my shoulder, and he suddenly had a dead serious look on his face that I’d never seen on him before.

“Before you go, I need to warn you. He has not been in a good place since your accident, he blames himself, so please try to eh, let him down easy. When he has his bad days I think he still hasn’t gotten over the last time, and that was over three centuries ago.”

_ Three centuries ?  Decades? If he was old enough to be getting married three decades ago then he’d have to be at least what... like 50?  _

“I am not trying to excuse his secrecy, he really should’ve told you, but as Ive said before, he is like a brother to me and even I can only do so much to cheer him up.” He gave me a small sad smile and a pat on the shoulder. “His is last on the left.” He cocked his head in the direction of the room and left.

I watched as he turned and trotted back down the stairs before I made my own way to Copia’s door, knocking quietly before slowly pushing it open, not sure what to expect. He was sitting, hair a mess like he’d been pulling it the way I’d seen him do when he was stressed, wearing black pants and a black fitted shirt with a clergy collar that I assumed was what he wore under the cassock. He was facing away from the door on the long side of his bed, staring silently out the window at the snow falling, and didn’t even seem to notice me walk in. 

As I approached, I saw his face was painted with the same black paint he wore when he visited me, and his eyes were bloodshot. In his hand he held the ring from necklace he always wore, slowly turning it between his fingers, the chain sitting on the nightstand. It was strange to see him without that strand of silver around his neck.

“Copia?” I spoke hesitantly, stopping near the foot of the bed.

“Lyza.” 

His voice was the same dead, emotionless voice as it had been the very first time I stayed with him. He was either on the verge of an attack or had already had one. Suddenly feeling the need to comfort him, I slowly sat down next to him, leaning my head against his shoulder as I waited for him to speak. He tensed more the closer I got, but eventually I felt the tension begin to diminish slowly. 

He placed the ring he was holding in my hand, and looked down at his fidgeting, now empty fingers before he spoke. 

“That ring- it- it was a gift. From my ex-fiancé. S-she went from l-loving me, to wanting me exiled, or dead, in the time it took for me to admit what I am going to admit to you.” He took a shaky breath, “Though I do not mean to imply that I- that I think that you- you would ever l-love a man like me, I can only hope you can see the similarity in the situation.” 

“I understand.” I spoke softly from my place on his shoulder, heart hurting at how he thought so poorly of himself that he thought I could never love him, when that was very much not the case.

He gave a small nod and continued. 

“I know you don’t want to hear apologies, but I am deeply sorry that you were hurt. You could’ve easily lost your life because of it, you almost _did_ , and- I- I can only pray that someday you might forgive me for the pain and suffering you had to experience because I did not react soon enough.” His voice cracked, “I know that you said that Papa told you how I... come back if things like the accident happen, but you don’t and if I killed you I couldn’t-“

I could see the guilt weighing heavily on him, and his eyes welling with tears. “Copia, I never blamed you in the first place, you did the best you could do given the circumstances.” 

He shook his head vehemently, “I should’ve done differently, I- at the very least I’ve put images in your mind that you will never forget, and for that I am sorry.” 

We were both silent for a while, the only sound in the room being his shortened breaths. I was finding it difficult to stay mad at him when he was clearly already beating himself to a pulp in his own mind, angry at himself on my behalf.

He looked back out the window. “I grew up in a Catholic Church in Italy. Both of my parents passed when I was only a few years old, so I was raised by the nuns for the most part.” His voice was hollow as he told his story, “I ended up becoming a priest. They sent me to a church in London to take over for the one who was soon retiring. I convinced him to let me feed those who lived on the streets nearby the church, and when the plague came, Father Lawrence disappeared, leaving me in charge so I brought them in.” 

I stopped him, needing to make sure I understood correctly. “The- The  _plague_?” 

He took a deep breath, nodding solemnly. “The bubonic plague. It struck all of the vendors who we normally were able to get supplies from and forced me to ride to the nearby towns, looking for food for us but- but they had all already been ravaged by the illness, b-bodies in pits in the fields, bodies in the gutters, it took them too quickly. Once you were infected you had only a few days left to live. It was horrifying. Both to see and to experience.” There was now a steady stream of tears running down his face, but if he noticed them he did not give any indication. He ran his shaking fingers through his hair and looked down at the floor.

I sat up straight, pulling away from him as my mind processed what he just said. I wasn’t exactly sure when  exactly  the plague happened, but I knew it was _several_ _ hundred _ years ago. In my head I’d always pictured the time of the plague like it was the fucking Middle Ages. My expression turned to one of shock. “The bubonic plague was- So you’re saying you’re- just how old are you?” 

His bottom lip trembled and his chin met his chest as he whispered, “In April I- I will be” he hesitated and I heard him swallow. My heart was in my throat, afraid of what he was about to say. “I will have been alive for 345 years.” 

I was sure that if I could’ve seen myself in that moment I would have been as pale as a ghost. I stared at him, mouth agape searching in vain for some sign that he was not telling the truth. I found none. My head was spinning.

“Y-you... How?” Was all I managed to get out, the entirety of my brains processing power going towards trying to make sense of it.

“I was not successful finding what I was looking for, there was no food to bring back, I inadvertently brought back the plague instead. You have to understand society as a whole was not as knowledgeable about the spread of disease back then, if I’d known what I do now I’d have never gone. I- I ended up sentencing the people I was supposed to save to death.” He gasped in a breath, and closed his eyes, slowly shaking his head, unable to speak for a while. “I-I was dead or dying- I don’t know, the fever clouded ones mind enough that to this day I don’t know, when a voice offered to help my people, for a price. They would be saved, their health restored if I agreed to- to,” it was like he couldn’t bring himself to let it out of his mouth. A sob bubbled up in his throat when he tried to speak. He put his head in his hands, fingers now tearing again at his hair. 

My heart twisted at the sight and even through my shock I couldn’t help myself from putting one hand on his back and rubbing slow circles in effort to help him relax enough to say what he needed to say. “If you agreed to what?” 

“To be a horseman.” He must’ve sensed my confusion, and forced himself to explain more. “W-When the time comes for the end of days, I-I will ride as the horseman Pestilence.” 

I knew of the four horseman of the apocalypse, anyone who grew up where I did had gone to church enough to know. What they _didn’t_ teach us was that the devil came and just made deals with _catholic priests_ for eternal life in exchange for for playing a role in doomsday. It couldn’t be true. There was no way the man I had come to love over the past several months was a _fucking_ _ horseman of the apocalypse _ . Hearing that must be how a calculator feels when you ask it to divide by 0, it just wouldn’t compute. 

“W-what? That’s- surely that’s not possible? Higher powers don’t just” Both hands were now gesturing wildly in the air as I looked at him, my voice shaky with both fright and disbelief. 

His mismatched eyes met mine, his pupils pinpoints from fear which only exaggerated the whiteness of his left. “I did not think it was either.” He shook his head sadly. “It took me many years to believe it, and many more to come to terms with it. I may never have, if I did not also bear the ‘mark of the beast’ as they say and seen it as a reminder every day since.” 

He must’ve been able to tell from the look of confusion once again on my face I didn’t know what the _fuck_ he meant or really believe him. I had no idea what ‘bearing the mark of the beast’ was supposed to mean, unless he meant his eye which I’d already seen several times now, in pictures, in person, and on Papa as well.

I gasped and my jaw dropped as he reached back and unfastened the button at the back of his collar and stretched it to its limits as he pulled it down to reveal ‘666’ appearing to be  _ branded  _ into his chest before he let his collar back into place with a pop, quickly buttoning it shut again and looking up hesitantly for my reaction.

_ Holy fucking shit.  _

I could think of no good reason anyone would have such a symbol  _ branded  _ onto them. A tattoo maybe, but even that was a long shot. He had to be telling the truth. I couldn’t believe it but realization slowly crept up and a whisper fell from my lips as it finally processed that the man sitting next to me was  immortal,  he had been around long before me and would be long after. The way he spoke like he was ancient suddenly made sense because  _ he was.  _ That meant there was a good chance Papa wasn’t messing up his translation either, which if he’d known Copia for a century, meant he was also- “Oh my god...” Pieces were coming together in my mind and I was tripping the  _ fuck  _ out at all the signs I’d missed.

He must’ve seen my reaction as rejection, and stood suddenly, distancing himself from me as he started apologizing. He held up his now violently shaking hands out placatingly. “I am- I am so, so sorry. Please know that even though I am... what I am, I would- I would never hurt you- I could never-” His breathing was becoming frantic, with several short breaths squeezed between every few words. “And I- I would do anything for- for you, I just- I want to-“ he was now leaning heavily against the wall next to the window, no longer looking at me and swaying dangerously. 

Alarmed, I jumped up and tried to get him to sit before he knocked out and clocked himself on the window sill or the corner of his bookshelf and ended up on the floor. “Copia! Copia, you need to sit down” I grabbed him by the shoulders and pulled him back over to the bed, pushing him down to a seated position. He didn’t fight me, his watery eyes were unfocused, and I didn’t know if he was even still here in his mind. 

He seemed to struggle to suck in his next breath, whispering a weak “please” before his eyes rolled back and he lost consciousness. I was able to catch him as he fell forward and I pushed him backagainst the pillows of the bed. My heart was racing, this attack was much worse than the only other I had experienced with him, and it scared me half to death. I’d heard of it happening to those who suffered from severe anxiety attacks, but had never seen it myself. Once I navigated the rest of him onto the bed I stood, trying to calm my own breathing before I ended up joining him in unconsciousness. 

In a panic I flew out the door to go find Papa. If they’d known each other for that long maybe he would know what to do, or wouldn’t at least tell me thats happened to him before and he’d wake up in a minute. I’d stomped quickly down the first flight of stairs and halfway down the second, somehow managing to only trip over myself once in the process before another alarming thought popped into my head. 

_ Shit. If he wakes up and I’m not there he’s going to think I ran for the wrong reason. Fuck.  _

I turned around and started running back up the stairs as fast as my now fatigued shaky muscles would take me. If he woke up and I wasn’t there I knew where his mind would go. He would think I left him, that I hated him, and I very much _did not._ I stopped and leaned down with my hands on my knees to catch my breath for a second before I reached the still open door of his room, a mix of relieved that he was still where I left him and worried that he had not yet stirred.I pulled the door back shut behind me and pulled out the old wooden chair from the small desk, sitting it it as it gave a creak of disapproval.

As I watched him sleep I took the time to reflect and work on calming my own mind as best I could before he woke and I’d have to calm his as well. I thought of all the crazy, impossible things I’d learned about him so far, and the fact that the church seemed to house many more secrets that I never would have thought were anything other than stories or myths. I then thought of all of the kind things he has done for me, how much he helped me and cared for me the entire time I’d known him. Him being what he was hadn’t affected how he was always there for me when I needed him up until now, so I couldn’t see how me knowing his secret would change anything other than him being less secretive, which would be a good thing. 

What he had just revealed to me would take a lot of getting used to, but he was still him. He was still my sweet awkward mystery man. I think had made my decision to stay with him before I even came into his room, during all the time I had to think while I was stuck in that stupid hospital bed. I felt like I should be more upset than I was, but understood that he did not keep these things from me out of any kind of malicious intent. 

Knowing what I do now, it made sense. You really can’t go around telling just anyone you’re one of the harbingers of the apocalypse and expect a  _ good  _ reaction. As for the rest, although I was not happy about it, I understood his reasoning as well. He was obviously completely petrified of a repeat of his past experiences. It could not have been an easy thing to deal with, telling one you loved your deepest secrets and darkest fears only to have them scream in your face and run. On the plus side, I doubt he would ever hide anything from me again, what could be worse than what I knew now after all? 

As I waited for him to wake, my eyes wandered around the room. It was slightly smaller than his apartment, but there were a few personal things here instead of the empty sterile-ness of his apartment. While it wasn’t cluttered or full by any means, there was enough that it actually felt like somewhere a person was living in. A few pictures from what looked like a Halloween party here and there. A shelf of what must’ve been gifts from fans, his biretta, and to my surprise, a small picture of me and Bug, from a day Copia had gone to watch me breeze him. He must’ve taken a picture when I wasn’t paying attention. Seeing it warmed my heart and I felt the corners of my mouth turn up. I rose, about to join him in the bed, and as I turned to push the chair in I saw an unsealed envelope lying on the desk with my name on it that I must’ve missed somehow when I pulled out the chair a few minutes ago. I sat back down and opened it carefully. 

February 28, 2021

_ Lyza, _

_ You are finally getting out of the infirmary today. By the time you read this, if you haven’t just thrown it away as you should, you are probably back home. Far away from the church and I now that you have learned of the monster that I truly am. There is no amount of words that would accurately represent how sorry I am to have kept this from you,but I hope one day you’ll understand why I did. Please understand that you were the light of my life, simply being around you brought me a joy I haven’t felt in hundreds of years.  _

_ I hope you know I enjoyed and will treasure every second you allowed me to spend with you. Know that I wish you and Bug the best on your travels, I know you will do an amazing job. I hope that someday you will forgive me enough to look back on the days we spent together fondly, I know I will hold these memories with you dear to me forever. I do not hold it against you in the slightest for fleeing from me, I would do the same if I could. There is one last thing I need to tell you, because I was and am too much of a coward to have told you in person as I should have, as would have been right. I need you to know that I love you with all of my heart and I never meant to hurt you.  _

_ Forever yours, _

_ Andrea Copia _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for yalls comments and kudos and for reading!


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lyza debates what to do about the letter, briefly meets seestor and gets another bit of info about Copias past

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I rewrote this one so if something doesn’t make sense that’s probably why. I tried to read it over but I might’ve missed something. 
> 
> Anyway, that yall so much for reading!

I have no idea how long I sat at the desk, reading and re-reading his letter as I wiped tears from my eyes. He was so sure I was going to leave him he had pre-written his goodbye for when I left.

No wonder Papa said he was not in a good place, he was counting down the days before he would add another goodbye to his surely extensive list. If he had truly been around since the plague, what else had he been through? What else had he experienced? What other horrors had he seen? Surely more than his share with a life as long as that. No wonder he could be an anxious mess sometimes, pretty much anyone would be after that long. 

I looked at the man who was still out like a light on his bed. 

_Andrea_. 

I tried out his first name in my head. Although it was one I’d have never guessed, it fit him perfectly. Now that I thought about it, I felt bad that I never had asked him for it, but he had always said for everyone just to call him Copia, so that is what I had always done. It rarely even registered that he  had  any other name. I couldn’t believe I had known him for months, soon to be a full year, without learning something so simple as his first name. It had me wondering what other little things I must’ve missed along the way. 

The last line he had written played on repeat in my mind as I watched the now slow rise and fall of his chest, “ _I love you with all of my heart, I never meant to hurt you. I love you with all of my heart..._ ”  tears welled up again in my eyes as I thought of how he must’ve felt writing that, thinking that by the time I knew how he felt, I would be gone. Thinking that he would never hear it back. Thinking that I would be afraid of him, expecting him to smite me down to hell or whatever he will have to do when the time comes, hopefully many years from now, long after my time. 

A warmth flooded my chest to know that he returned the feelings that I hadn’t found a way to tell about him yet. Suddenly the distance between me and the man I loved felt like miles. Needing to close that space I folded the letter back up and put it carefully back in it’s envelope, making sure to set it back down on the desk in the same location it previously occupied before quietly making my way to join him in the bed. Sliding myself over to him, I wrapped an arm around his stomach and laid my head on his chest, a position that had become our norm. He didn’t wake. The sound of his heart beating beneath me reassured me that even though he may be immortal, he was still human, and he was mine. 

It must’ve been at least an hour before I felt him finally stir. I would’ve been much more worried at how long it took for him to come to if I hadn’t now known he would wake up again, no matter what. His eyes cracked open slowly and he froze, feeling the weight of another against him. 

“L-lyza? He asked, his voice small and rough from sleep and his attack. “Y-you’re- are you truly still here?” 

I sat up, and he followed suit, staring at me intensely as though he thought I was merely a figment of his imagination and would disappear as soon as he blinked. 

I wrapped one arm behind his neck and cupped his cheek with the other, smiling at him as I spoke, “I’m still here.” A bewildered expression crossed his face as I threaded my fingers into his hair and I leaned in close, my lips meeting his. 

His body tensed, but ever so slowly, I felt his arms wrap around me and pull me against him as began to return the kiss. When we broke for air his mismatched eyes met mine, frantically searching for any sign that I might be upset with him, that I would run screaming like his ex-fiancé. When he found none and realized that I was truly there with him- not running or screaming now that I knew his secret, I caught his lips trembling once more as his eyes filled with tears. The sob he was trying to fight won over and tore through his throat as he clutched me tightly against his chest, wordlessly burying his face in my hair as he cried. My heart broke as I held him, his hands holding the material of my shirt, well technically his shirt, so tightly I was sure once he released me there would be two sets of fist shaped wrinkles, one between my shoulder blades, and one on one side of my waist. 

His voice came out nearly a squeak when he made a failed attempt to speak, still muffled by my hair. “Lyza,” another gasped breath, “Lyza I- I-,” he tried again, still not able to get whatever he was trying to say out before another sob came. 

His grip on my had only tightened, and I brought one hand up to comb through his hair, shushing him as I rocked him slowly trying my best to comfort him as he broke down, letting out what must’ve been years and years of loneliness. “Shhhh, shhhh, I know, it’s okay. I’m right here, I’m not going anywhere. I’m not leaving you.”

Slowly but steadily he started to quiet, his shaking beginning to finally subside and his hold on me slowly loosening to be just a firm grip versus a death grip. Taking advantage of the slight amount of extra space that afforded I pushed myself back just enough to see his face. I reached up to brush the tears away from his puffy red eyes before pulling us both back to lie down again. 

Neither of us spoke for a long time, simply enjoying the closeness of one another as we watched the snow fall outside the window.I could tell his emotions had taken their toll on him again and he was close to nodding off, naturally this time. Giving him a quick peck I pulled myself from his arms and walked over to the middle of the room and started to glance about, checking if there was somewhere obvious he kept his sleep clothes here. The only ones I saw were what I was currently wearing and I didn’t want to go tearing through all his drawers so I asked, almost sad to break the silence, “Copia? Where do you keep the stuff you sleep in? You need to change, get comfortable, that way you can have an early night and you’ll be rested and feel better tomorrow, you know?” 

His dreary eyes followed me around the room before he mumbled, “top drawer,” his voice rough from the days emotion. It was a good thing he wasn’t touring again for a while, it would’ve been bad news if he had to sing the next day or two. I heard him drag himself up from his bed and his footsteps approach as I pulled out what I was looking for and handed them to him. He dragged his feet around the wall to his bathroom and I heard the rustling of clothes and the jingle of his belt buckle through the still open door as he changed. 

“Shouldn’t the paint come off?” I asked as he reappeared in the fresh clothes but still sporting the black paint around his eyes and on his lip that miraculously hadn’t budged a bit even through everything. I couldn’t help but wonder how the hell it was still stayed so pristine, when on the rare occasions I’d ever worn mascara or eyeliner it would make a mess if I even _thought_ about touching my eyes. 

“It’s alright, thank you.” He yawned as he pulled the blanket back before dropping back onto the bed, eyes still on me watching to see what my next move would be. 

I headed to the door, figuring I should probably update Papa, especially since he thought I’d be leaving too. “Get some sleep, I’ll be back soon I am just gonna go talk to Papa so he doesn’t come looking.” 

Copia started to sit back up, a worried expression on his face. “Y-you’re coming back?” 

“Yeah, I swear. Pinky promise.” I stepped back over to him and gave him another kiss, one that he readily returned this time, hoping to reassure him. I stopped right before opening the door and added, “Hey, promise me one thing though.” 

His eyes were wide, suddenly much more awake than he had been. “Yes, anything.” 

“No more secrets okay?” 

“I promise.” He let out a sigh of relief and I took my leave, crossing the hallway and starting down the stairs in search of Papa.

Back on ground level I wandered the halls, I had no idea where to even start to look for him. I tried to ignore the odd looks from the siblings as I looked for the dark pope. 

_ How can a man like him be this hard to find, I would’ve noticed a mass of the siblings following him around, vying for his attention. _

Turning down another hall, I was startled by a stern voice coming from an older woman with short grey hair, standing in front of me in a suit with her arms crossed. “Can I help you? What is it exactly that you are doing, gallivanting around the church grounds?” 

I immediately felt like I was in trouble, like I’d been caught doing something I shouldn’t have been. Scrambling for a reasonable response all I came up with was “Uh... I was just looking for Papa?”

Her apparent age had apparently not slowed her wit. “And what business do you have with him?” 

I wasn’t sure who she was, but she seemed to hold a position of authority the way she carried herself and acted. “I was- I was just wanting to let him know about Copia, he- I don’t have a phone anymore or I would’ve told him that way but I can’t find him, I’m sorry.” 

She put one hand on her hip and the held up a finger with the other. “One, his title is  _ Cardinal  _ Copia, and two, what about him? Are you the one from the accident that he’s been infatuated with and has been distracting him from his work?” 

“I- I guess? I didn’t think I was distracting him? Look, I just need to find Papa and I’ll go back up and get out of your way.” I was starting to get a little annoyed with this lady acting like I was just here to fuck shit up. 

Her face scrunched like she just ate an entire lemon at my tone. “That useless mans office is on the second floor, if by some miracle he managed to bring himself to lift a finger for once in his life you might find him there. Now go, and do  _ not  _ talk to me like that again.” She stepped around me her short heels clicking across the tile as she walked. 

_ What a bitch.  _

As luck would have it I ran into Papa as I turned the corner at the top of the stairs to the second floor. He seemed surprised but happy to see me again, this time just lifting an eyebrow expectantly and waiting for me to speak. 

“Oh my god I’ve been looking all over for you! Some grey haired lady in a suit said you might be in your office. Well, in not so nice of terms but-“ I shrugged. 

He leaned back, one foot against the wall and his arms crossed across his chest. “Ah, she does not like me. Or my brothers.” He said bitterly before continuing with a nod,now waving one hand as he spoke. “She does like Copia though, but probably only because she’s been loading him with busywork for years and he doesn’t protest like everyone else. A very hard worker, no?” 

“Yeah no offense but she seems like a bit of a...”

“Bitch?” He filled in for me. “Yes. That is Sister Imperator for you. Anyways, come let’s go to my office, it’s right here and we can talk more there, yes?”

——

Now both sitting on the luxurious leather chairs in his office, sipping on some delicious wine he produced from a tall cabinet in the corner, he brought up the subject I knew he was truly wanting to know about. 

“So how bad is he?” 

“He’s hopefully sleeping by now. He had a pretty bad anxiety attack earlier and has been exhausted since. I almost came to look for you because he worked himself up bad enough to faint but I didn’t want to leave and have him wake up thinking I’d left him.” I explained sadly. 

“Ah, I was afraid of that. It has been a very long time since he’s had one that bad, at least that I am aware of. He said it was back when he was still practicing, I think.” Papas mismatched eyes shot up to meet mine, his eyebrows halfway to his hairline, like he just processed what else I said. “Wait, you are not upset with him? You are not leaving? Here to ask me for a ride home?” He seemed genuinely shocked. 

I sighed. “Well yeah, sort of but I get it. I don’t want to leave him though. He makes me happy. And he was already mad enough at himself that I don’t need to add to it.” 

He nodded, bringing his fingers up to his chin in thought. “He really loves you, you know? Told me so himself. I think you will make him very, veryhappy- now that you know about his deal, and his immortality situation and did not flee.” 

“I know.” I admitted quietly.

Eyebrows now furrowed, on the opposite end of the spectrum, once again shocked as he spoke. “He told you? Ah, I am impressed, he came to me in a panic a while back begging me for advice on this. I am glad he got it out.”

I shook my head before dropping it into my hands. “That’s the thing, he didn’t. He wrote a letter, and I read it but I don’t know if I was supposed to read it. It was written like he expected me to be already gone, and I’m clearly not. I don’t think I’m supposed to know.” 

“Oh.  _ Merda _ . What are you gonna do?” 

I threw my hands up in exasperation. “I don’t know! You were supposed to know! You said you’ve known him fucking forever, which I have questions about too by the way,but do I tell him I know? Do I say it first? Do I wait for him to tell me?” I realized after I said it I probably shouldn’t have admitted that my feelings to him judging by his inability to keep his mouth shut, inadvertently or not.

He blinked at me. “You love him too then?” 

“Yes Papa, I do.” 

“So? I do not understand? He loves you, you love him so just-“ he put his hands together and made and started making kissing noises. 

I laughed, a slight flush coloring my face. “That doesn’t answer the question Papa. And already did that.” 

“You are overthinking, I think. You already know he loves you back so what is the hesitation? Just tell him, get it off your chest, yes?” 

I let out a sigh as my shoulders dropped. “I don’t know.” 

He cocked his head, “What are you still doing here? Go be with him,” he reached across and gave me a pat on the shoulder, “Go on, let me know how it goes!” 

My hand was on the doorknob when I remembered. “Hey Papa, can you like, keep it a secret until I say so? It’d be kinda shitty for him to hear it from you first, you know?” He nodded his assent and I turned and left, hearing the click of the door shutting again a a ways behind me. 

——

A few minutes later found me at the top of the last flight of stairs, winded and leaning against the wall for a moment to catch my breath. I tried and tried but I couldn’t figure out how to tell him, so I could only hope he’d figure it out before me and make my life easier. 

I crept back into the room, quietly kicking off my shoes and pulling off my socks. The room was dark now, the sun having gone below the horizon already. In the dim light of the moon I could see Copia, now under the covers, asleep on his side and facing the door. Wincing at the cold from the floor on my bare feet as I walked over to join him in bed, I slid between the sheets and scooted up next to him. A moment later I felt him stir and he brought one arm around me, pulling me back against his chest. Apparently awake now, he whispered my name into the quiet of the room as he pressed a few soft kisses to the back of my neck, his mustache tickling as he did. “You really came back.” 

“Of course I did, I promised you I would, you know?” I craned my neck to try to look him in the eyes as I teased, “So can I tell everyone that I have a rockstar boyfriend now?” 

His face flushed barely visible in the dark or the room, but definitely there. “I-I eh, I don’t know about the ‘rock star’ part but,”

“Oh shut up,” I cut him off with a laugh, pulling myself from his arms and sitting up to point at the shelf full of gifts from fans only feet away, “you fuckin’ are and you know it!” I was now pointing a finger at him, “I had YouTube, plenty of time, and Papa’s phone the whole time I was in the hospital! I saw videos! I can’t believe you never even told me you could sing!” 

He was brushing his hand through his hair again, looking up at me. “Its- Im not that good, it wasn’t worth mentioning.” 

I gave him a look.

“Alright, fine, fine, I’m okay I guess, but only because I’ve had a few hundred years of practice. I started in the church choir as a boy. Sang and eventually started playing harpsichord and the organ. I still play it at mass sometimes when Primo is not available.” He had just nearly told me more about himself in 30 seconds than he had in a month, and I was glad he was keeping true to his word of not keeping secrets or hiding things.

“Who’s Primo?” 

“Terzo’s eldest brother. Papa Emeritus I”

“Terzo?” I questioned, and Copia chuckled. 

“Papa. He prefers that over his given name, if one is going to call him anything other than Papa, which is not often. He is eh...” he gestured with his hand, searching for a word before giving up, “testa grossa? Un pavone? Likes to hear his title more than anything.” 

“I can see that. He certainly has the personality.” My brow furrowed. “How’d you come to be friends with him anyway? He said that y’all’re close but he is like the complete opposite of you? Well when you’re not on stage at least.” 

“I met him much the same way as you did, tesoro.” He said matter-of-factly.

I tilted my head. “What do you mean?” 

“When I met him I was in the churches hospital as well, albeit not this location. We left the original abbey in Italy during World War II. It was very similar to this one though. They built it almost the same.” 

Curious, I asked him, “What were you in the hospital for? Not from a car accident I’m guessing, but?”

“Terzos other brother found me and my rat behind a dumpster. I was unemployed for a good while and had eh, ...ran out of resources at the time, so Antonio picked me up and brought me here when he saw my eye. There were no contacts back then, no way to hide this eye and it always made it difficult to be hired by anyone. I spent a fair amount of my life on the streets because of it. When they brought me in I was not in the best of shape so I stayed in the infirmary for several days, and Papa came to visit me,” he stood and went over to the rooms closet, flipping between the outfits hanging in it. Some I recognized as what he wore on stage in the videos I’d seen, and others looked more casual. Finding what he was looking for, he pulled out an ancient looking tie front poet style shirt. “He gave me this and a pair of pants that I’ve since lost to help me get cleaned up and hasn’t left me alone since.” 

I watched him hang it back up, “I can see you in that, I bet you looked very handsome in it.” 

He blushed at the compliment, coming back to sit next to me again. “It was a change for me, but I will admit I was pleasantly surprised with it. It was just difficult to to hide the eh,” he brought his hand to where the mark on his chest was and tapped his fingers. 

“Why did you even need to hide that though, if this church, you know, worships the uh ...devil, wouldn’t they be like, impressed or something?” I asked him, curious. 

“I guess I did not need to, but after so long of needing to keep it hidden, knowing that if anyone saw, I would be exiled or worse, it is a hard habit to break. People used to be much less ...accepting of the unfamiliar. To this day only three-no four now, people have ever seen it.” He let out a big sigh, and reclined a bit, his hands out behind him on the bed holding him up. 

“So, if I’m the fourth, who were the other three? Papa?” I guessed. 

Copia nodded, holding up 1 finger. 

“Charlie.” He held up a second. 

“Who was that?” I interrupted, once again curious. 

“He- He was the man I told you about, that sepsis took. He was my eh, boss turned colleague at his printing press, during the 1790’s.” His eyes went to mine before he looked back out the window. “I know what you’re thinking. It was a lifetime ago that he passed. More than a lifetime. I should be over it by now. But through the years, I never can seem to forget any of those that I lost, no matter how hard I try.” He finished, sadness coming back into his voice. 

I reached back and placed my hand over his on the mattress, looking to him before I spoke, “Copia, there is no time limit for mourning. If it still hurts, it still hurts. No one can fault you for that.” I drew small circles on the back of his hand with my thumb in silence for a few minutes before continuing. 

“Who was the third?” 

This pulled a small chuckle out of him, “A poor mortician who must’ve thought he’d lost his mind when he saw me stand up and walk out. Before he fainted, anyway.” 

“A  _mortician_? Like the people who take you after you die?” 

He nodded. 

“Copia! Why the hell were you in a morgue in the first place? I was sitting up straight, talking louder than I should have been, somewhat afraid of the answer, but also intrigued.

His brow furrowed as he answered simply, “Because that is where they take people who are dead?” As though it was a normal thing for a living man to be saying he was dead in the past tense. Knowing what I knew now, I understood that he must have ‘died’ at some point before and must’ve come back already at the morgue, but it still sounded absolutely bizarre. I also knew he was messing with me with his answer, from the tone of voice he was using, and more obviously from the fact he was trying to keep himself from laughing. 

“Oh fuck you, you know what I mean, why were you dead in the first place?” It felt like such an odd question to ask a living man who was sitting next to you.

“It’s how I lost my construction job. I fell off of some icy scaffolding several floors up. I don’t even actually remember hitting the ground, only the moment before. Up until then I did not know that I can’t seem to actually die. It is still unnerving to me.” He explained, yawning before he added: “And I don’t want to hear any of you or your classmates ever complaining about dangerous work conditions, you fuckers have OSHA for gods sake, if they were around back then I probably wouldn’t even be allowed that high up without safety equipment.” 

Maybe it was because I was drowsy enough that everything was more funny than it should be, or maybe because of the warm happiness that was coursing through my body or a combination of both but I burst out laughing so hard tears came to my eyes. I flopped back down on the bed, burying my face in the pillow to try to stifle my laughter and I felt him follow suit a moment after, his arm coming to rest around my waist again as he pressed another kiss to the back of my neck. I could hear the smile in his voice as he said “Goodnight Lyza,” and gave me a sqeeze before we both drifted off to sleep. 


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lyza gets back home, Copia meets Sarah, a gremlin is introduced

The next morning he was up already when I woke, the extra sleep he got yesterday apparently paying off. I vaguely remember hearing the shower at some point earlier but I ended up nodding off again. Now the sun shining brightly in my eyes forced me out of bed and I rose, stretching my arms above my head with a groan. Deciding to take a quick shower to wash the sleep away, I padded into the bathroom, flipping on the light and tying my hair up into a high bun to keep it dry. I reached in and turned on the shower, letting the water get warm as I went back out to find some fresh clothes to borrow. Going with some black linen pants that he used to sleep in but could be passable in public just in case, and old white shirt with a faded Aerosmith logo on it, I turned back to the bathroom and noticed a note on the desk in the same place as the letter had been- the letter now gone. 

_ Well shit, I guess I wasn’t supposed to know then.  _

I picked up the note, holding it closer to my face to read it. 

_ Good morning tesoro. I went to get us some breakfast, be back soon.  _

I nodded to myself and hurried to get my shower out of the way, not at all surprised to find the only soap he used was a simple clean smelling bar. Enjoying the feeling of the hot water running over my shoulders I stayed there much longer than I needed to, only dragging myself out when I faintly heard to door of the room open and close over the sound of the splashing water on the tiles. 

When I emerged from the bathroom, feeling refreshed and smelling like Copias soap, he was looking out the window waiting for me, once again in his official church attire. It seemed like he must be required to wear that while he was here.

He looked up and a smile crossed his face as he walked over to the tray that was now on the desk. “Sorry it took a while, I was eh...held up by Sister Imperator.” He said as he handed me one of the identical plates. Removing his cassock and setting his biretta back on the shelf, he took the other and went back to his place on the side of the bed to eat, leaving the desk for me. 

“I think that’s the same lady Papa said I ran into yesterday while I was looking for him. Short grey hair, suit, kinda not very nice?” 

“Sounds like one and the same,” he said between bites. “Did she bother you? I can ask Papa to talk to her?” 

I shook my head. “Not really. Like she could’ve been less... standoffish but all she really said was why was I looking for Papa, and that he was lazy, and asked if I was the one ‘distracting you from your work’” I made air quotes with my fingers. 

“I’m sorry, she shouldn’t blame you for my deficiencies. She is just pissed off that I was not working, and now I will need to compress the course material of the class, which she thinks will come back and look bad on the church.” His voice was laced with guilt, like it was somehow his fault that he missed a few days of work because he was literally dead . 

Finishing my breakfast I moved to sit next to him on the bed. “How the fuck can she fault you for that? You were _dead?”_

He set his now empty plate aside and shrugged, imitating her accent eerily well. “Well Cardinal, if you hadn’t been out dilly dallying around in a storm with that girl there wouldn’t have been an issue now would there?” 

I cracked up, he had her down to a T, hand on his hip and all. “You’re really good at that, you know?” 

“I’ve eh, been at the receiving end of her rants more than I’d like to admit.” He pushed himself up, taking his plate back to the tray.“Anyways, I need to take this shit back to the kitchens then we will get you home if you are ready to go?” He was halfway out the door before he turned back around and threw on his cassock, buttoning it as quickly as he could as he explained sheepishly, “I’m- I have to wear this when on church grounds if I don’t want to get an earful from her again.” A moment later he disappeared out the door.

By the evening Copia and I were nearly back to my house, where Sarah insisted on meeting me. He had us stop on the way back to get me a new phone, saying that it was only right since he was responsible for the loss of my old one that he should replace it for me. Truthfully I think he was just nervous about not being able to reach me or vice versa if I needed something and he wasn’t there. 

The entire drive felt wrong, not being in the old T-bird, but another vintage looking car that apparently belonged to the church. I had to argue with him a little to even get him to even take that one. He wanted to take one of the newer ones with airbags every place you could possibly imagine, now paranoid and wanting to do his best to prevent me another near death experience. I understood his logic but honestly the vintage cars were much cooler and it would just look wrong to see him driving a modern car. I almost brought up the fact that rodeo was  not at all a safe pastime and I could easily be hurt or killed doing that anyway, so a car without airbags couldn’t be any worse, but figured that would just make him nervous every time I rode from then on. 

I could tell Copia was nervous about finally meeting Sarah. He had been quiet since we left the cell phone store and was fidgeting the entire time he was not actively using any of his limbs to drive, left leg bouncing when he wasn’t using to work the clutch, fingers in his right hand drumming on the shifter. 

We were less than 10 minutes away when he spoke again. “Tesoro, are you sure I should forgo the eh,” he gestured at his white eye, which I had been trying to convince him to leave the contact out of for at least an hour, “the green one?” 

I rolled my eyes, this was the fifth time he asked me, “Yes Copia, I’m sure. She has seen you and the band, she knows already. She might comment, but she’d just do it to irritate me. She won’t give a single fuck about that. She’s not the real superstitious type either. I promise.” I rested my hand over his on the shifter. 

As my property finally came into view, an excitement at seeing Bug again for the first time in a long time filled my stomach. He’d be full of it after having such a long time off, and I couldn’t wait to take him out for a ride. I’d missed him. Hell, I’d even missed the goats it was getting to be the time of year when they’d start having the kids again which I always looked forward to watching as they bounced around and explored. 

We pulled onto the gravel drive, tires crunching as we parked. As always, Copia rushed around and opened my door for me like he always insisted on doing then we made our way arm in arm towards the house. I had a feeling if I wasn’t pulling him there he’d have run the other way from nerves. Sarah’s car was here so we knew she must be inside already. 

Apparently she’d been watching out the window, I was reaching for the handle at the same time as Sarah pulled it open. 

“Lyza! It’s you! I’m so glad you’re alright!” She practically screeched, before pulling me in for a hug, leaving Copia standing awkwardly at the door. 

I extracted myself from her grip before responding. “I told you I was, the church took good care of me, but I did miss you, you know?

Copia cleared his throat awkwardly, nodding back towards the door. “I’m eh, I’m just going to go take a look at that old truck and-“ 

“No you’re not, young man, you’re not gettin’ away that easily.” Sarah interrupted him and was now poking a finger at his chest. Her choice of words was amusing; I had told her about his situation in generalities so she knew he was very old, many many years her senior, just not the finer details. His mismatched eyes were wide and darting back and fourth between me and Sarah, waiting to find out what he was supposed to be doing. I noticed his hands had gone to hide behind his back, a telltale sign his nerves were building.

“I am not happy with you, mister. Going and hiding all that satanic shit from my best friend, but if she forgives you, I will too. Just don’t fuckin’ put a curse on me or whatever you guys do, I may not be the most religious person but I’m no satanist, ok?” 

She was still standing right in Copias face, and he looked frightened as he answered in a small voice, “Understood, and under-understandable. I mean- about the not a satanist thing- it’s understandable.” His eyes looked to me for help. 

“Alright Sarah I think he gets it,” I said with a chuckle, grateful for a friend who would stand up for me, even if I didn’t need it. “Lay off my man.” I joked. 

Her eyebrows shot up. “ _ Your _ man? It’s official now? Did you tell him? Is this theclassic ‘near death experience made us fall in love’ trope? And nobody told me?” 

Copia and I both responded at the same time, “No” and both looked at eachother in surprise. Evidently his feelings came sooner that that night. 

Sarah was eyeing us, brow furrowed. “What? Am I missin’ something? why are y’all,” she pointed two fingers at her eyes in the universal ‘looking’ gesture and pointed it back and fourth between us.

“ No, I quickly filled in, preferring to talk about that with Copia alone later. “And yes , we decided to be ...officially? a couple once I got out of the hospital at the church.” I saw her inhale to speak, and I already knew what was coming. “And don’t say-“

“I fuckin’ told you so!” She cut me off, shouting. 

“Oh shut up, Sarah” I rolled my eyes. 

Poor Copia was still just standing awkwardly, his hands still behind his back, watching the exchange before Sarah addressed him again. 

“So Lyza had me look your band up, and I just have one question.” She looked at him seriously. 

“W-what is it?” He tensed.

“How the  _ hell _ do you get those white pants on?” 

Copia let out a sigh of relief before responding just as seriously as she asked the question. “They  _ are _ actually paint.” 

——

From that point on the conversation flowed much more freely as we sat and caught up. Sarah and I did most of the talking, but Copia did chime in every so often. All in all it was a nice night, but I found myself relieved when she finally left. Walking back from locking the door behind her I plopped down next to Copia on my sofa, ignoring its creaks of complaint, and huffed. 

“As much as I love Sarah, she can get overwhelming after a while can’t she?” 

Copia looked up from where he had been occupying himself reading, apparently having figured out how to download a book on his phone. “After a  while ?”

“Alright, after a few minutes for most people, but I’m used to it I guess.” I leaned over, stretching my neck to attempt to read the screen. “Whatcha reading?” 

He set the phone down on the arm of the chair. “It’s eh, nothing all that entertaining. I just- I like to keep up with the eh... medical practices of today. The field changes so quickly and-“ 

I stopped him, a memory clicking into my mind. “Wait is that what Papa meant by you ‘practicing’? Were you a doctor?” 

A sad expression crossed his face. “I was for a time, yes. It was something Charlie, the man from the printing press, encouraged me to do when I tried to help him take care of his hand. After he- after he died, the press closed, even though he had made me part owner I couldn’t bear to run it without him. My life has always been spent wandering so I took his suggestion and enrolled in a university in what is now known as Switzerland.” 

I was once again amazed at how much he’d experienced, and the fact that he was a whole-ass  doctor  as well. I don’t know why I didn’t piece it together from his collection of old medicines and the ease of which he fixed my hand a while back. I would definitely have described it as done with a practice hand. “That’s actually really cool, Copia. How long ago was that even, like when was Switzerland not Switzerland?” 

His face scrunched in thought. “It was... spring of 1800? And at the time it was called the Helvetic Republic, though it didn’t last. It really was a beautiful place, I sometimes miss it. There was a park nearby the university that I spent a lot of time in, sitting by the river, watching the boats go by. It was peaceful.” His eyes met mine. “Have you- have you ever been? To- to eh, Switzerland I mean. Obviously you the chances of you going to the same place would be-“ he was rambling, seemingly nervous about the question, so I interrupted shaking my head. 

“Never even been out of the country actually. Don’t even have a passport.” 

He looked down at his hands, twisting them together as he spoke. “I would- I would love to take you someday? If- only if you’d like to go, if you wouldn’t mind terribly going with me?” 

One hand was on its way up to run through his hair but I caught it mid-trip and put it back in his lap before I wrapped my arms around him and kissed his cheek. “I would love to, I don’t know when, but I’d love to go with you. Wouldn’t want to miss hanging out with my favorite person in the world, you know?” 

I watched as his eyes watered, but he was able to keep them from spilling this time. He pressed his lips to my hairline softly and put an arm around my shoulders, gently pulling me against him. “I am truly the luckiest man in the world, I still can’t believe you are really here with me, let alone that you are not afraid of me now that you know eh... that you know.” 

We sat, enjoying the silence for a few minutes before I realized, “oh shit, I haven’t fed yet tonight, Bug and the goats are gonna be pissed.” Igroaned, pushing myself off the couch and heading out the door, Copia right behind. 

“So what were you planning to accomplish by looking at that truck exactly? Didn’t you tell me months ago you were not ever a mechanic?” I asked waiting for a bucket to fill. 

He tossed the hay he was holding before he responded. “I was going to check if it was in a passable enough state for the ghouls to fix.” Seeing my confusion he continued, “...you do know about the ghouls right? That they are not exactly eh... human?”

I nodded. “Sort of. Papa told me some.”

“Right. Well one of my ghouls is fairly good with eh, things of a mechanical nature, if it’s not too bad I may be able to summon him to fix it.” He was explaining with his hands, something he always did when he was having trouble thinking of words.

I kinked the hose, fixing to walk out to the goats, “Summon him? Do you mean like, literally  _ summon _ him or just-“ about to go around the corner I cut myself off, “actually never mind I’ll find out soon I guess, it’ll be a surprise.” Mental images and a ghoul erupting from the ground next to my truck filled my head, I wasn’t sure if I would be afraid or impressed if it could actually happen, but supernatural things were something I needed to get used to if I was going to be around Copia and the church it seemed. 

When I came back around he was on the ground, underneath the truck looking at something. 

“Whatcha see, Cardi?” 

He tried to sit up before crawling back out and I heard his head smack something underneath the truck. It sounded like it hurt. 

“Ah, shit, shit,” He started scooting his way back out, than sat up to look at me, a black smudge in the middle of his forehead. “Cardi? Did you get that from Papa? And eh, to be honest, I saw nothing. I don’t  really know what I’m looking at, other than if something is broken beyond repair or not. My ghoul can eh, melt metal things to reshape or repair if he needs to.” He explained rubbing his head with a grimace on  his face.

I walked over and offered a hand to help him up, “Yeah I probably did, but it’s cute.” 

“My ghoul might be able to figure something out before I could. Do you have a candle you do not want?” 

I tilted my head, “A-A candle? So you’re gonna  _ summon _ him, summon him then?” 

Copia nodded, “Yes, they can eh...” his hand was waving in the air, looking for a word, “pop in and out at home, but to get him quickly here, outside of the church, I need to do it a- a different way.” 

Not even bothering to ask for an explanation of  why exactly he needed a candle of all things, I just nodded and went to find one, bringing back a tiny stump of a tea light and lighter and handed them to Copia.

He looked at it in disapproval for a moment before giving his signature dismissive hand wave and placing it on the ground. 

“This will do I guess. And just to give you fair warning, he’s probably gonna be fucking pissed but don’t worry about it. He always has an attitude.” He started drawing some weird looking symbols in the dirt which I assumed meant something, lit the candle, then spoke something in a language I could only guess might have been Latin, and stepped back. 

I watched, a combination of fear and amazement on my face as the air seemed to shimmer and a small  angry  ghoul materialized. 

“What the  _ fuck  _ boss, I was in the middle of something, asshole! What do you want?” He glared at Copia, stomping his foot and crossing his arms. 

“Nice to see you too, Dew.” Copia greeted sarcastically. “I need you to see if you can get this thing running, please.” He tapped on the metal of the truck’s hood. 

I could see the ghoul roll his eyes before pulling the door open and popping the hood with as much attitude as he could muster, making his displeasure known. After a few minutes of Copia and I just watching him hanging over the front of the truck doing  god knows what in the engine bay, he noticed we were still there and stood up, crossing his arms again.

“Hey, fuck the hell off okay? Give me an hour or two. Don’t have to fuckin’ stand there staring like fuckin’ idiots.” He jerked his head towards the barn aggressively before he dove back under the hood. 

I turned to Copia, “Well that gives me time to work Bug, he’s gonna be full of it today. Wanna go for a walk?” 

He shrugged and we made our way back in to get Bug ready and take advantage of the last bit of sunlight for the day. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The truck is revived, and its rodeo time, time to get ‘er on down the road

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one feels kinda filler-y 😅 sorry
> 
> Thank you for reading!

After the ride, still on the adrenaline high from flying down that old dirt road with Bug, Copia and I went back around the barn to check on his ghouls progress on the truck. He was leaning against the truck, battery on the ground next to him, tapping one foot impatiently yelling across the property as soon as he saw us approaching. 

“Hey boss, nice of you to finally get back here, send me back to the Abbey, I need Papa to charge this shit.” He pointed at the battery. 

Copia just nodded, not even questioning it, and gestured for him to go back to the same few symbols still on the ground. As soon as the ghoul went to the spot he just waved a hand and Dew disappeared much the same way as he appeared. Although my brain still had trouble processing it, I had to admit it was pretty cool to see ones boyfriend banishing a demon with a flick of his wrist, even though he was a relatively friendly one.

“Okay I’m not even gonna try to ask how the _fuck_ you keep doing that but consider me amazed.” 

Copias face turned a light shade of pink, “It’s- it’snothing really, I can only do it with mine.” He held out a hand and I took it as we walked back into the house. 

“Well actually one question though,” I said as I dropped myself into the couch. His mismatched eyes turned to me and he hummed in response. “Why did he ask for Papa of all people? Doesn’t the church have a charger he could just plug in or something?” 

He thought for a moment. “I think it would be easier to eh... show you rather than try to describe it.” He pulled out his phone and I watched as he opened up YouTube and handed it to me, playing a music video featuring Papa watching a movie that he was also in, shooting electricity from his hands. 

Confused, I looked up from the video. “I mean, that’s a cool video but like, what does that have to do with it?” 

“He can really do that. Well the static part, not the turning into hundreds of bats and being the size of a building part of course.” He let out a small laugh. “So, it turns out he can eh, charge things  very quickly. Never have to worry about a dead battery when he’s around. He’s- he’s a useful friend to have that way eh?” 

I would’ve thought he was just fucking with me and making it up that Papa could just shoot fucking  lightning  out of his hands, but coming from an immortal man who had just summoned a demon right in front of me, now I wasn’t so sure. 

“You’re- he can really do that?” 

He gave a subtle nod, a small smile on his face. “He can. Not quite to eh, not to that degree, but yes, he can. Do you know how I found out he could do that?” 

This sounded like a chance to learn some more about his past, so I rearranged myself on the sofa to face him completely and leaned sideways on the back of the sofa. 

“I don’t, but I would like to.” 

Copia looked like he was replaying a memory in his mind before he told the story, “It was on the roof of the old abbey. I’d been there a few years and Antonio, the middle Emeritus brother, set me up to do my first sermon there. Long story short, I was pissed at Terzo because I thought he was going to stay up there with me, and went to the roof to be left alone.” He had a small smile on his face, “His eldest brother told him where I had gone, and when he found me he took out one of his cigars and lit it with a snap of his fingers to get me to talk, and it worked. I really shouldn’t have been upset with him, he did exactly what he said he would do but in my mind- I don’t know what I thought. I still feel guilty about that at times.” 

Trying to imagine the face Copia would’ve made upon seeing that in my mind, I laughed. “I can totally see you hiding out like that, and Papa does seem to have a talent for getting people to talk when he wants them to. He pulled a conversation out of me in the hospital a few times, you know?” 

We were interrupted by Copias phone lighting up with a text. As it lit I noticed he had made his lock screen the same picture of me and Bug that he had on the shelf in his room. It brought a smile to my face. 

“Ah, Dew said he’s ready to come back.” He stood abruptly, taking the lighter and a slightly larger candle I’d found with him, and went out the door with me trotting after him.

“Wait the ghouls have phones? And like text and stuff?” I don’t know why I didn’t think they would, but it still surprised me. 

Copia answered as he was drawing the same symbols in the dirt as earlier, “Yes? How else would I keep track of them, especially on tour? Mine eh, they don’t behave for shit.” 

I wondered for a moment why he kept referring to them as ‘his’ ghouls before he lit the candle and recited the same Latin phrase from before and a moment later, Dew appeared with the battery. 

“Took you long enough, dickhead.” I snorted at his greeting as the ghoul hooked it up in seconds, slammed the hood shut and held out a clawed hand, “Key?” 

Copia looked from him to me, patting his pockets to indicate he did not have it. 

“Can’t start the damn truck without a fuckin key, boss.” He tapped his claw against the metal of his mask tilting his head, the claw against the metal clinking as he did, “You got anything up there or,” 

It was Copias turn to glare at him as pinched the bridge of his nose, “Oh my god, can you ever be patient for one fucking second, Dewdrop?” He turned and went back into the house, leaving me with the impatient demon. 

Dew hopped into my truck, sitting with his legs still out the door as he addressed me, “You really fucked up his ability to think, I swear the whole last leg of the tour he only talked about you,” he gestured both of his clawed hands the direction Copia had gone, “and now look at him, thinks I can start a fuckin truck with no key.” 

Right as he said that my key ring came flying at him, landing directly on his horn like a ring toss at a carnival. I burst out laughing, and I could even hear Copia giggle as he approached, he was clearly not the least bit afraid of the little gremlins attitude.

Dew pulled the keys from his horn with an enthusiastic “Fuck you, Copia,” putting the keys in the ignition with one hand and flipping him off with the other. I had to hold in a laugh at the bizarreness of the whole situation. Moments later, the truck came to life for the first time in months. I was overjoyed. Having my truck back meant I could finally compete again, or at the very least, take Bug to an arena every once in a while. I ran up to Dew and gave him a quick hug, thanking him profusely. When I pulled away he pointed a finger at me. “ _You_ \- you don’t worry about it,” he looked to Copia, now pointing at him, “but _you_ \- you owe me. Big time. I’m gonna think about my list of demands. Now in the meantime, send me back so I can finish what I was doing before you so kindly dragged me here.” 

Copia did just that. 

——

A couple of days after the truck was fixed, I’d had the chance to take Bug to an actual arena to run a few calves, and the weekend after that I was able to get him a few exhibitions in a local jackpot. It was like we hadn’t missed a day, all the time spent working to keep him in performance shape paid off and if anything he felt faster than he did before. I was ecstatic to finally be back in the game, starting with tomorrow nights rodeo. 

I found myself practically dancing around Copia’s kitchen as I worked on ‘cooking’ us some dinner, which was really just warming up a can of spaghetti o’s and some leftover grilled chicken he’d made the other day. He surprisingly didn’t mind them like I thought he would have, being Italian and all. The man himself was sitting, one leg crossed over the other on the sofa, pretending to be watching the American, a big rodeo they were showing RFD-TV that I’d put on and was having him watch so he wouldn’t be completely lost when he went with me to mine tomorrow night. I kept catching his eyes following me as I bounced around his kitchen, an odd look in his eyes and a small smile on his face before he snapped his attention back to the TV every time he noticed that I caught him. 

I plated the food and brought it over, setting it on the coffee table and sitting next to him on the sofa. His brows were furrowed and he looked somewhat concerned as he looked at my plate. 

“Eh, please don’t take this the wrong way tesoro, but what the  _ fuck  _ did you do with yours?” 

“It’s chicken parmesan!” I laughed, talking with a hand in front of my mouth, still chewing. I could tell he didn’t quite agree that my masterpiece of spaghetti o’s dumped on a piece of chicken with some shredded cheese on top was chicken parmesan but he just nodded and finished a bite of his before he responded. 

“Ah. That’s... creative.” 

Copia nearly jumped out of his skin when I gasped and almost threw my plate down as the next horse and rider started coming down the alley. “Look! Copia look! It’s Hailey Kinsel and Sister!” 

Once he realized my exclamation was not one of alarm he relaxed again, following my pointing finger back to the screen where the palomino horse was flying through the pattern. “Do you know her? Why the excitement for this one?” He asked, confused. 

“I don’t know her  personally no, but she’s my favorite! Well her and Sherry Cervi, but she’s not super active anymore. Someday I hope I can be as successful as she’s been.” 

He nodded, finishing his food and taking both our plates back to the kitchen, cleaning up since I cooked. “You will get there, you haven’t had the chance to compete in a while, now that you’re eh, back in the game so to speak I’m sure you will do well.” 

I watched the tv for another few minutes before I remembered what I picked up for Copia a couple days ago when I found out he’d be coming with me tomorrow night for sure. I jumped up, going to the bedroom to get the pair of jeans out of my bag. I’d eventually figured out the man did not own a single pair, and while I didn’t care what he wore I figured he would be more comfortable if he didn’t stand out so in the crowd of Stetson and blue jean clad cowboys that’d be there. 

I hid them behind my back and went back towards the main room where I found Copia already on his way to see why I’d just run off. 

“Here, I got you these,” I held them out to him smiling widely, “go try them on, see if they fit well enough for tomorrow.” 

He was frozen for a good several seconds, just staring at the proffered pair of pants before he took them and spoke, confusion evident in his tone. “You- you got me jeans?” 

“Yeah, that’s what everyone will be wearing, so I thought you’d be more comfortable if you looked like it wasn’t your first rodeo you know?” 

“I hadn’t even thought about that, heh.” A smile lit his face. “Thank you tesoro, that is very thoughtful of you.” 

I laughed as he came back from changing and struck a couple of dramatic poses, both at the way he looked odd in them since I’d never once seen him wear anything other than slacks, sweats, and now his church stuff, as well as at his antics. 

Dropping his act he came up to me, surprising me with a quick kiss to my hairline before he asked. “So eh, do you approve?” 

“Sure do, cowboy.” I reached up to give him a peck on the cheek in return and his face lit up as he went back into the room to change again. 

——

The next evening finally arrived and found Copia, Bug, an I standing next to the fence of the rodeo arena watching as the roughstock riders did their thing. Copia had opted for wearing the green contact and now that I’d gotten used to his white eye, the green one looked off. We both winced as the next rider got thrown hard enough he did a somersault in the air before he even hit the ground. 

“Please don’t ever decide to be a bronc rider, I honestly don’t think I could watch you do that that without puking from worry.” 

Deciding to mess with him I turned to face him. “You’re watching them do it just fine though?” 

Flustered he stuttered out his response. “Yes but- they- I’m sure it sounds bad but- I just- I don’t care about them, if they hurt themselves that’s on them but- I-I do care about you, I never want to see you hurt again so just- please be careful if youve truly got it in your mind to do that?” 

His answer was surprisingly sweet, and I always appreciated how he never tried to tell me not to or to stop me from doing anything I wanted. I smiled up at him. “Don’t worry, I prefer to do things that keep the horse between me and the ground, you know?”

He let out a sigh of relief, “Oh thank the lord, if you were serious I’d be dead from a heart attack every damn week.” 

My events were quickly coming up so I hopped up in the saddle to get Bug warmed up again. I had to admit, I was nervous and I could feel Bug feeding off my energy as we backed into the box for breakaway. It turned out I had no reason to be because everything went off without a hitch, I got a clean catch on my calf and had a smooth run through the barrel pattern. It was good enough for me pull a check from both events, which Copia, genuinely excited, even celebrated with an air punch when the announcer said my name. All in all, it was a wonderful night and if I weren’t so tired I’d have wanted it to never end. 


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Copia has a confession

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the shitty translations  
> Also For shit formatting I can’t keep my eyes open today for s
> 
> *morning update: I really posted this while 95% asleep and it shows lmao so if anything looks different it’s bc ive gone back to fix stuff

Late that night, well technically early the next morning I woke, slowly realizing that the reason I was even awake at this ridiculous hour was because my warm pillow had disappeared. Reaching a hand to his side of the bed I found his spot was cold, like he’d been gone a while. Briefly glancing to the bedroom door I could quickly tell not a light was on in the house judging by the pitch black in the doorway. My sleep fogged brain tried to figure out if he’d mentioned having somewhere to be ridiculously early in the morning, but that seemed unlikely. 

“Copia?” I called out into the house, but got no response. I felt worry start to build in my stomach.  _ Did I do something to make him upset? Did he leave? Or what if he is having an attack and didn’t want to wake me up? _

I held my breath and listened carefully for any sign of life in the house, but heard nothing. Prying myself out of bed I made a short round through the house with my phone flashlight, checking each room to be sure. Shadows from the contents of the rooms danced on the walls but there was still no sign of the missing man. As I threw on some shoes from the basket by the door I finally faintly heard his voice, seemingly having a pretty one sided conversation. I cracked open the door, and found him, using a  candle he’d set on the ground in the middle of the barn isle  for a light source, pulling his hair, and pacing in front of Bugs stall as he talked to my horse. Bugs head followed him back and fourth as he paced. I prayed Bug wouldn’t flick an ear towards me and give me away as I listened. 

“...you’ve known her longer than I have, what do I do? Can I even tell her? I just can’t keep it a secret any longer!” A pause as he made another round back and fourth. “If- If I tell her and it’s the wrong time, I’ll fuck everything up,” his pacing stopped as he addressed the horse directly. “I am happier than I have ever been in my _entire_ _ fucking _ _life_ , oh god, I _can’t_ fuck it up!” 

As I listened I realized how his current conversation with Bug sounded uncannily similar to mine with Papa that day. Deciding to give myself away before I heard anything I wasn’t supposed to I spoke my voice feeling like a shout over the quiet rustling of the leaves in the tree behind the barn. “We have electricity now, you know?” 

The poor man startled so badly that Bug did the same. He turned to me and it was hard to tell in the dim light of the candle but I could swear he had tears in his eyes and my worry increased tenfold. I stepped out into the barn isle walking over to him. He spoke first, eyes wide. 

“H-how long have you been there?” His voice was quiet. 

I brought an arm around his waist and started guiding him back inside, bringing the candle with me. Another barn fire was the last thing I needed. “Only a few seconds, you were telling Bug he’s known me longer. Come back to bed, it’s way to early to be anywhere else.” 

He did not resist as I led us back to inside and took my place on his chest again. I could feel his heart still thumping away a mile a minute beneath his ribs. “What’s wrong, Copia? What’s got you so worked up? Is everything okay?”

He let out a shaky sigh. “I- I am- you make me so  _ so  _ happy and I- I don’t want to make you uncomfortable, I promised- I promised I would keep no more secrets but- I am terrified that if I- that I’ll tell you and you’ll- you’ll think I’m a fucking creep, or-I just-“ 

I caught the hand that was gesturing wildly in the air as he tried to get the words out and brought it back down to rest on his chest next to me, holding it tight, hoping to reassure him. “Copia, relax, you can tell me, I won’t think that, I promise.” 

He closed his eyes, sucking in a deep breath as he pushed himself up a bit. When his eyes opened he met mine and he looked at me intensely, combing my hair back behind my ear before bringing his hand under my chin and kissing me deeply as though he thought it’d be our last. Surprised but not at all upset at his action, the arm that wasn’t supporting me came up to hook around his neck as I returned the kiss. Eventually having to break for air, I pulled back just enough to see his face. There were tear tracks on his cheeks, and it was worrying me that it was something other than what I was hoping it was.“Not that I didnt enjoy that, but what’s what’s going on? Please tell me?” 

He let go of me completely and was now sitting all the way up with his legs crossed in front of him, looking down at his fidgeting hands as he spoke. “Lyza I- I can’t keep it- I have to tell you, and not only that- I- I want you to know, I need you to know. I promised you I wouldn’t hide anything and I intend to keep that promise. I need you to know that I-“ He closed his eyes and took another shaky breath before he looked up at me and continued, “that I love you, I love you so much that it hurts, I have for a while and I just- I’m sorry, and if it makes you at all uncomfortable just say the word, and I will go.” 

It felt amazing to finally hear him say those words, even though I already knew before I was supposed to. A huge smile split my face and I lunged forward to throw my arms around him, knocking him back to lie down in the process. 

His eyes wide, he looked up at me hesitantly asking, “Does that- does that mean...?”

I crawled up, leaning over him as I pressed a kiss to his lips. “It means I love you too, Copia.” 

He froze, his mismatched eyes staring up at me in disbelief before his arms locked around me. I was pulled tightly against him as he whispered something in what sounded like Italian while he peppered me with soft kisses on every inch of skin that he could reach. 

“ _Oh mio dio sono l'uomo più fortunato del mondo_ ,” both of his hands came up to my face and he pulled me down gently, bringing our lips together once more in a loving kiss before he resumed his stream of Italian. “ _Sono così felice che penso che il mio cuore scoppierà!_ ” 

The tickle of his mustache as he spoke into my neck sent me into a fit of giggles. “Copia! Copia that tickles!” A low hum from his throat the only response, his hands now on my sides. Now gasping for breath, I finally figured out that the sneaky fuck was doing it on purpose, leaving me no choice but to give him a taste of his own medicine. We both ended up with tears of light hearted laughterin our eyes, breathlessly keeping a tight grip on the others hands in defense. I could swear years had fallen off his face since earlier that night, worry lines replaced with with joy and a new sparkle in his eye. All I wanted in that moment was record it in my mind to savor the feeling forever, and I was certain that’s what he was attempting to do as well. It was no surprise that we both overslept the next morning. 

——

It took several days, but eventually I slowly fell back into my normal daily routine again, glad that I had not gotten fired for missing so many days of work. I’m sure I had Sarah to thank for that- she must’ve explained that I was in that accident. That woman had been an absolute lifesaver throughout that entire predicament. Someday soon I’d find a way to make it up to her, take her out to lunch or for drinks or something. She’d probably lose her mind when I informed her of the latest development which I hadn’t told her about yet. That was a reaction I  had to see in person.  
  


Copia’s class finally resumed as well, having been put on hold for us to recover. Although the break was unavoidable, now he insisted he had to fit nearly a month of missed material into the last few weeks. I could tell it was stressing him out, both at home and at the class. He seemed constantly distracted and preoccupied with something. On the days that I would spend the night with him, which honestly was more often then not, he wouldn’t come to bed until late and once he did, he still couldn’t sleep. As I lied there next to him I often I wished there was something I could do for him, but I did not have enough knowledge of the subject to be able to. I had a feeling it wasn’t  _ just  _ the class that was the issue. His phone was in his hand much of the time he was with me, and every time it lit up dread would fill his features. I my only guess was it had to be one of the higher ups of the church that wasn’t leaving him alone.

The night he was nodding off during dinner, nearly getting a face full of food, was when I had to put my foot down. 

“Copia. You can’t keep this up, you’re exhausted.” I reached over and took his hand in mine. 

He sighed. “I know, I know I am.” 

“Then why are you pushing yourself like this? It’s just a class, a free one at that, and I’m sure they understand if every single thing doesn’t get explained, you literally  _ died _ in that crash remember? You needed time to recover.” I didn’t understand why he was making such a big deal out of it. It’s not like anyone but the church was paying for him to host it so they really couldn’t complain, and they weren’t. They all loved him and his teaching style that I now recognized as being similar to the persona he put on when he performed with Ghost. A loveable, somewhat inappropriate, idiot. 

He ran his fingers through his hair, sighing. “It’s not so much that, its if anyone is not satisfied or leaves negative feedback and it gets back to the church, Papa will have my hide, it was hard enough to get to where I am, I don’t want to throw it away now.” 

I looked at him, not quite following. Papa didn’t seem like he really cared all that much about well, anything. On top of that they were best friends, so I didn’t understand why he was so worried about this. “He told me himself you were like a brother to him the day I got out of the hospital at the church, why would he be that harsh on you? For something that’s not even a big deal?” 

“No, no, not Terzo, his father.” He shook his head. “Papa Nihil. He’s eh- he’s always thought I was not ...deserving of my position, no matter what it was. A simple brother of sin, bishop,  cardinal.  I am never good enough for it. He was the one who sent me here. He wanted me to fail so he would have an excuse to tell Imperator to demote me, or at the very least, take me out of the band and let him take my place.” He shook his head, a sour look on his face. “As if that ancient fucker even could do it, asshole has been dragging around an oxygen tank for the past half century.” He finished bitterly.

_That makes the worry make more sense then_.

I patted his hand, “It’ll be fine Copia, they all love you. Besides, can you imagine anyone else trying to look as good as you in those outfits you wear?” I giggled, trying to imagine an old man as ancient as Copia described trying to strut around the stage, dancing like my boyfriend did in those form fitting pants and suits. 

He looked down at the food still on his plate, “How do I know you’re not just saying that?I’m shit at talking in front of people. When eh...when I’m not on stage at least.” 

His eyes followed me as I rose from my chair and walked around the table to him to give him a quick kiss on the cheek for moral support, “Copia, I hear them talk, they are my classmates, I was in school long enough to be able to recognize when a class liked the teacher or not.” I could tell he still didn’t quite believe me, so I put a hand on his shoulder and sighed, “Let’s just go on to bed okay? You need sleep, and I’m sure you’ll feel better once you’ve had some rest, you know?” 

He acquiesced and I picked up his plate, covering it and putting in the fridge. It remained mostly uneaten tonight, but one thing I noticed about him was that he never threw food away. I assumed it was a habit leftover from when he was young since food must’ve been much harder to come by. Heading back to the table, I pulled him up, dragging him to the bedroom, before pushing the pants he usually slept in into his hands. 

Ever since I’d seen the mark h sported on his chest, he’d slowly became more comfortable with me seeing him shirtless, which was apparently his preferred way to sleep in the warmer months. He quickly stepped into his pair of loose plaid pants with little rats of various colors, and collapsed onto the mattress, with me cuddling up to him shortly after.


	21. Chapter 21

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Two times Lyza has Copia positively wrapped around her finger

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It’s pretty much just some fluff for now ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

It was a very busy day at the diner the next morning, which continued to find ways to throttle any conversation I could have with Sarah. Through the few sentences we managed to exchange I’d managed to invite her to dinner later so we could actually talk. I figured she would be excited to hear about the most recent development between me and Copia, she was always after the details like it was the hottest gossip of the town. Truthfully it probably was, not much happened here, so if it was public knowledge that one of the waitresses at the diner was dating someone who was pretty much as close to satanic royalty as one could get without being a Papa, I’d be the talk of the town. Probably the  _ exiled  _ talk of the town, but still the talk of the town nonetheless. There was nothing that the people of small towns liked as much as gossip. 

I chose one of the tables outside in preparation for Sarah to scream when she heard, ordering myself a strong drink while I waited for her to get there. 

“Hey bitch!” She greeted as she learned up to the table, setting her stuff down and getting settled. “Work was fuckin’ crazy today, huh?” 

I took a sip of my drink. “Yeah, I can’t believe we  ran out of eggs . Like how the hell does a diner just  _ run out of eggs _ ! Then everybody’s gotta act like it’s our fault- ugh I’m just glad it’s over.” The breakfast and lunch rush that day had truly been a shit show, hours and hours of getting yelled at by boomers who acted like us running out of eggs was as big of a problem as us personally burning their house down would be. It amazed me how rude people could be sometimes.

Once Sarah had ordered too, we got passed the pleasantries and made it into the ‘meat’ of the conversation. 

“So what’d your old man think of that rodeo you took him to a while back.” 

It didn’t even feel like that long since we went, but now that I thought about it, it had been a few weeks now. “Wow, has it really been that long since we last actually talked? And Christ, Sarah when you call him that it feels like you’re talking about my dad,” I laughed and she took the opportunity to tease me about it again. It seemed to be her new favorite pastime to tease me about being into old men ever since I explained to her about him really being pretty ancient, especially at work when any particularly geriatric one would come in. 

“Well he could be! He could be your dads dad too for that matter!” She joked quietly, thankfully she knew better than to announce that kind of thing to the world. 

My eyes rolled, “oh shut up Sarah, and to answer your question, I think he enjoyed it. He was really supportive actually, it was pretty cute seeing him all excited right there with me when I won stuff too.” I shrugged. “Didn’t quite get the appeal of the roughstock but to be fair, I don’t either.” 

“Damn, that’s great Lyz, most of the guys I’ve gone out with don’t give a shit about the stuff I like. You wanna help a girl out and help me find another one like yours?” She laughed as we got our food. 

“Well I mean I know where there’s a massive gothic building full of ‘em, but I can’t say they’d be the same as him, you know?” 

“Hey anything would probably be better than the usual that I find- only care about ‘rolling coal’ and dip. That shit tastes disgusting when you go home with them.” She had always been one to go home with whoever she felt like, telling me stories of her one night stands when she came into work the next day. Hell, she’d probably fit right in at the church if she wanted to. It seemed like many of the siblings there were not so different the way pretty much everybody I’d seen the days I was there was always flirting with everybody else. 

“I haven’t even told you the best part yet, but you have to promise not to scream when I tell you.” This piqued her attention. She finished chewing and raised her eyebrows, waiting for an explanation. Unable to keep a smile from my face as I thought of him, I told her, prepared for an eardrum bursting screech. “He told me he loved me that night. And before you ask, of course I said it back!” 

Eyes about to burst from her head, a hand flew up, holding her own mouth shut as the other waved excitedly in the air next to her. “Oh my  god , Lyza! That’s- I knew it! What did I tell you fuckin’ forever ago!? That’s great news!” She was still speaking louder than normal, but I was relieved she wasn’t attracting the attention of the entire restaurant like I was afraid she might have. “Where is he anyway? It’s got to the point where it feels weird to not see him with you, outside of work at least.” 

“Oh he’s at home. He said he’d take care of Bug and the goats tonight so I wouldn’t have to worry about being back at a certain time. The last day of his class is tomorrow so he’s been freaking out about the surveys everyone’s gonna get and for the past few days he’s been trying figure out if he can ask them to give good or at least not negative feedback in exchange for a pizza party. I’ve been trying to tell him pizza parties are usually reserved for like, kids in school still, not whole ass-adults in a trade skills class but he’s still got his mind set on it. He insists pizza parties are what all the ‘cool’ teachers do, but I have no idea where he got that.” 

“Hey he’s got the right idea, I’d do almost anything for free pizza!” She managed through a mouthful of her burger. “So he’s goin’ back on tour then soon since that class is over?”

Sadness overwhelmed me at the thought. “He’s got about a week after that yeah. It’s a short one but after that he won’t be coming back here, he has to go back to the church so I don’t know how exactly that will work. Actually I’ve been meaning to ask you- could you be a hero and watch the goats for a few days? There’s a big barrel race in Oklahoma City this weekend I was hoping to go to. I’ll paypal you for gas?” 

She waved her hand. “Yeah sure no prob.” 

——

After several more drinks, Sarah and I both ended up drunk enough to have thought singing karaoke was a good idea. In our defense, that place made their drinks fucking  delicious and strong as hell,  and we were both having a great time so we stayed a good deal longer than originally anticipated. Taking a break after our fourth poorly sung duet of the night my inebriated brain was at least smart enough to text Copia to come get us. 

_11:48 he yyy so me n Sarah are havng a great time but we are mayb a little drunk_

His response was almost instantaneous. 

_ 11:48 I am glad that you’re having fun _

_ 11:49 if you are as drunk as you sound from that text whatever you do, do not get in your car, I will come get you. _

_ 11:49 ur the best  _

With our ride taken care of and thirst quenched we signed up for another song, deciding on country this time; ‘My Church’ by Maren Morris. Even drunk off my ass I still saw the irony, giggling as Sarah added it to the list. Sarah elbowed me mid verse, not-so-subtlety nodding her head towards Copia, who must’ve spotted my stuff at our table and was now sitting watching us belt out the next lines of the song with one leg crossed over the other and a small, amused smile on his face. 

It seemed that Sarah and I came to a wordless agreement to get him up there for at least one, and I skipped clumsily over to him with her in tow. “Heeeyyyy babe,” the effects of the alcohol apparently having erased my normal reservations about public displays of affection, I dropped myself into his lap, giving him a sloppy kiss on the cheek before I continued. “So like, me n Sarah, we really want you to do one, whatdya think?” 

He hid his surprise well which I was sure I’d be thankful for when I sobered up, simply steadying me so I wouldn’t fall on my ass trying to balance on his leg. “I think you are  very  drunk, tesoro.” A small laugh came from his chest. “And I don’t know about that, You might not even remember this tomorrow and eh, I’m not- What would you want me to sing anyway? I don’t have the voice for country?” 

Sarah chimed in, joining forces to convince him, “It doesn’t even need to be that, you c’n do whatever, just not like  _your_ bands stuff yeah?” 

I made my best sad puppy eyes at him, shamelessly begging. “Pleeease? I’ve never even heard you like, actually singing other’n to yourself or along with the radio in the car?” He looked from me to Sarah and back, she’d caught on and was doing her best puppy eyes too. 

He let out a dramatic sigh and brought his hand up to run through his hair. “You’ll be the death of me, you know that?” Gently pushing me off his lap, Copia rose. “You’re lucky I have this,” he made a small gesture at his currently green left eye, “on today or there would be no fucking way, but fine, just one. We are leaving right after though, I need to get both of you home before the rest of these people start trying to drive home.” 

Sarah and I started jumping up and down, nearly squealing in drunken excitement when he agreed. When he was up, he walked calmly onto the small stage, adjusting the mic with a practiced ease as the music started. He’d picked a rock ballad that sounded familiar, but I couldn’t place it until he put an arm behind his back and started tapping his heel in time as the words started, the name of the song coming to me immediately. 

“Thats Judas Priest!” Sarah exclaimed, having also recognized the song at the same time. She elbowed me again and pointed out everyone was suddenly actually paying attention as he sang ‘Angel’, miles better than any of the nights earlier performances. It was obvious he was comfortable on stage the way he moved with the music, not even looking at the screen that I knew from experience had the lyrics with a dot bouncing across the top when you were supposed to sing them. Even the guy who’d been running the karaoke looking like he would have preferred to be anywhere else in the world but there was turned around to see who it was. 

Once we’d all made it back to his car I started cackling at how it must’ve looked, him coming off stage after delivering an en pointe performance and immediately leaving with a woman on each arm. Truthfully we were both practically hanging off him because we were struggling to keep our balance by then, but everyone else didn’t need to know that. At his baffled look I tried to explain, but I couldn’t get through it without laughing again so eventually I gave up and started to use my remaining brainpower to tell him the directions to Sarah’s house, Sarah having knocked out in the back seat. 

Finally back at home, Copia ended up opting to just pick me up and carry me inside in an unexpected show of strength, same as he did to get Sarah from his car back inside her own house, only she was out cold and I was not. I was both impressed and thankful he did, judging by how clumsy my legs felt just walking from the bathroom to the bed it was very likely I’d have face-planted at least once on the way in. When I made it back to sit on the bed Copia was already in front of me, holding out the biggest glass I owned, filled with water. 

“You- you’ll need to finish this before you sleep, tesoro. It will help with the eh, hit by a truck feeling in the morning.” As soon as I took it he went back out of the room, seemingly searching for something else. I’d finished half the glass by the time he came back, one of the extra buckets from the barnthat he’d lined with a plastic bag in hand. “Here,” he set it next to the bed, “just in case.” 

I smiled up at him, appreciative of his thoughtfulness. “You’re like, th’best guy I could ask for, y’know?” 

He said nothing, smiling softly and leaning down to press his lips to my forehead before heading to the bathroom to get himself ready for bed.

——

Just like I told him, the last day of his class went well and the class gave only good feedback according to a voicemail he’d gotten from Sister Imperator. He was relieved and much more carefree as we made the trip hauling Bug down to Oklahoma. We took turns driving after I was able to pull into a big empty parking lot for him to get a feel for driving a truck with another twenty something feet trailing behind. He picked it up surprisingly quickly for someone who was normally found driving a much smaller vehicle. I attributed his quick learning to the fact that he had been driving pretty much since cars became a thing. 

Once we made it to the show grounds I took over again to park it. Understandably, he was still hesitant to back the trailer into the somewhat tight RV hookup spots. He watched quietly from the passenger seat as I spun the wheel quickly keeping my eyes on the tail end of my trailer, making quick work of squeezing it into the spot. “Alright so first thing I’ve gotta do is find the show office to sign up and pay, get my back number and show Bug’s coggins, then they’ll give us the stall number and unlock it and everything and we’ll be set. Easy.” Hopping out of the truck I started digging through my binder of horse papers, annoyed at myself for letting it get to be so disorganized. I felt Copia standing behind me, trying to see what I was doing over my shoulder. 

“What eh, what is a... coggin exactly?” He asked, curiosity evident in his voice. 

A laugh bubbled up at the way he worded his question, I’d never heard anyone refer to it singularly. “It’s not a ‘coggin’, it’s a coggin _s _ test,” I emphasized the s for good measure as I finally found what I was looking for. “It tests for a disease that’s basically really bad if they get it and also pretty contagious, so in order to take a horse pretty much anywhere you’ve gotta have it.” He nodded and looked over the form as we made our way to the show office. Luckily there wasn’t a line so it took only a few minutes to get in and out with the entry form and the stall number for Bug, which Copia was currently emptying the bags of shavings in as I worked on getting the entry filled out. “Oh my god, look! They’re doing one of those ‘boyfriend barrel races’ you should-“ 

He stopped what he was doing, now leaning on the muck rake he was using and looking over to me, unamused. “Absolutely not. If it is anything like what it sounds like, then absolutely the fuck not.” 

“C’mon, it’ll be fun, and it’s a jackpot,  and  there’s a few hundred dollars added money!” I went into the stall to show him the race schedule. 

“Eh... at risk of sounding like a dick, the money does not matter to me. The ch-“ he cut himself off, eyes flicking to the people with the neighboring stall as he noticed them eavesdropping, most likely due to the language. “My- my employer pays more than enough, to be honest. I mean, he’s your horse so I’d obviously pass on any eh, winnings but- if you need something just ask?” 

Eyeing the people as well for a moment before I continued my efforts to convince him, I tried a different approach. “That’s no fun though, you know what _is_ fun?” 

“Watching other people fu- mess up from the sidelines.” He caught himself this time, still conscious of our not so secretive audience. 

“Haven’t you ever heard that song? You know- ‘ _I’d gladly take ten seconds in the saddle over a lifetime of watching from the stands_ ’ ” I gave my best effort into singing a line from that song by Chris Ledoux. “You know how to ride, and Bug will take care of you. All you really have to do is not fall off!” 

Having finished with the shavings he was now filling water buckets. “You’re actually not bad with a tune when you’re not drunk, I am impressed tesoro.” 

“Don’t think I don’t know what you’re doing, changing the subject, you sneaky ass-uh... man.” This time I could  _hear_ those people holding back a laugh at how I butchered my attempt to stop myself from calling him an asshole as they were still pretending to get their own shavings put down in the stall.

“Sneaky ass-man?” Copia giggled, eyebrows raised “that’s a new one.” 

By the next evening said ass-man found himself astride Bug, 3 runners away from his draw in the race as he and I watched yet another guy run down the alley and completely miss the first barrel, getting halfway down the arena before finally getting the horse turned. Odds were looking pretty good for Copia as long as he did the same as he did when I convinced him to try a cruise through the pattern last night. He had plenty of room for improvement on the technicalities and timing of course, but actually was able to get through it decently enough. 

As I expected he ended up in the money when it was all said and done, only beat by a couple guys who I was pretty sure were actually the trainers of their girlfriends or wives barrel horses. Not bad at all for only his second time through the pattern.  


Watching him here, in what may as well been a completely different world than the one he’d be going back to in only a few short days made it hard to connect the Copia who was walking my horse around the warm up pen cooling him out, and the Copia who soon would be singing about the one below, white eye, cassock and all in front of an  _ entire stadium  _ full of screaming people. Sometimes it felt Jeckyll and Hyde-ish to an extent, only the Hyde wasn’t  really evil, just not what the people around here would accept since they saw any mention of Satan evil in general.

I wasn’t even sure why he seemed almost like two different people in my mind, everything about him was the same when he was with me here and when I was with him at the church. The only thing different was his clothes and the lack of the black paint. It was amazing what a difference such simple changes in appearance could make on ones perception of someone. 

I was still lost in thought and hadn’t even noticed him approach until I heard his voice. “Lyza? What are you thinking about so intently?” 

Not bothering to come up with something else I simply said, “You,” before quickly changing the subject. “See I told you you’d do great!” 

He seemed concerned with my answer, but understood not to push it, right now at least. “Ah, well it helped that half the other entries eh... failed to even complete the pattern. That was the last thing, we are done now, yes?” 

I jumped down from the fence I’d been sitting on, taking Bug’s reins in one hand and holding the other out for Copia’s. He took it, and we walked back to the already packed trailer hand in hand. “Yes, and I’m exhausted, so let’s go.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Btw if youve never heard of a “boyfriend barrel race” I would def recommend looking up a video on YouTube or something they’re actually pretty funny to see sometimes
> 
> Thank you for reading!


	22. Chapter 22

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lyza finds out the accident had a lasting effect

The day I was dreading finally came. Tomorrow, Copia had to leave to go back on tour. He insisted on taking me out for a nice dinner tonight before he left, since the last time he tried ended so badly. This time, the weather was much nicer, and we would be leaving before dark which helped to ease my nerves some. I was in my bathroom drying my hair after a shower, and I could hear Sarah digging through my closet for an outfit. As soon as I let it slip what Copias plans were, she demanded that I let her help me get ready. 

“You don’t have _shit_ in here Lyza!” I heard her voice from the closet still.

“I  _ do _ have shit, it’s just not the fancy shit you’re looking for.” I called back, brushing through my hair with the dryer one more time. 

I saw her reflection in the mirror standing in the door behind me. She had her hands on her hips as she spoke, “You really don’t even have one dress? Every girl has gotta have at least one dress?” 

While she was right, I did not have what she was looking for anymore, it was not that I didn’t  _ want _ a dress or just got rid of any that I had, it was that all of the ones I had burned back in the fire. I didn’t have any use for a dress while I was on the road, and I hadn’t been able to justify spending the money on one since. There hadn’t been a situation where I truly needed one. Switching off the dryer, my hair now completely dry, I turned to her. “No Sarah, I don’t. Everything burned remember? I haven’t had a need for one since then so,”

The look on her face told me she had indeed forgotten about that. I think she felt bad, and tried to backtrack. “I can work with what you have, jeans can be good lookin’ when they’re dressed up, right?” 

I followed her back to my room and took a seat on the end of my bed as I watched her start to re-sort through my clothes. Whatever she chose, I was sure would be fine with me, and Copia had already seen me at as much of a disaster state of appearance as one could possibly be, so I doubted it would matter to him. A smile came to my face as I thought of him, most likely getting ready himself by now, and most likely working himself up with nerves. 

“I got it!” Sarah interrupted my train or thought, holding up my darkest pair of high waisted jeans, a plain fitted black long sleeve, and a tan leather award vest I had won a few years back. “This and your dressy belt and buckle and we will curl your hair a bit and you’ll knock ‘im dead!” 

“I don’t know about that,” I said over my shoulder as I went to change. I kept the thought that even if I _did_ ‘knock him dead’, he would just come back anyway, to myself. I squeezed into the jeans, pulled the shirt over my head and tucked it in, waiting on the vest until later. Looking myself in the mirror, I had to admit it was better than I thought she could do with the limited resources. I ended up with my hair in a loose bun versus curling it, a few strands not tied back for effect. Having finished early Sarah and I were sitting watching some home improvement show she wanted to see on TV, and she’d fire a question off about Copia every so often to make conversation. One in particular made me choke on the air I was breathing. 

“So do you think he’s the one?” 

_ She couldn’t possibly mean what I think she is implying, can she? I mean we only figured out how to confess our feelings what- a little over a couple of months ago? Well, we did both have those feelings for a while before that, but still. _

She looked concerned as I sucked air back in and tried to respond to that, feigning ignorance. “The one? The one  what ?” 

She looked at me, tilting her head and jutting out her chin, “Hey don’t play dumb with me, you know exactly what I mean, you guys have been best buddies for what, more than a year already? And y’all are fuckin’ inseparable! Don’t even get me started on the fact that y’all have a sleepover every fuckin’ day either here or at his place, so is he  the one or not?”

“It’s not-“ I was trying to explain that it wasn’t  every  day, but she cut me off, holding up a pair of Copias shoes that were sitting in the shoe basket next to the sofa I was sitting on, then proceeding to point out all the various things Copia had left here, her eyebrows raised. 

She put a hand on her hip. “If he’s not, you gotta quit fuckin’ around, find someone who is and quit wasting his time? That man loves you to death, that much is obvious.” 

“I-I-“ I sighed, not sure what I was trying to defend myself with. Putting my head in my hands I thought about what she said. I honestly hadn’t even thought about the next step in our relationship until now. I was too busy just enjoying myself. She was right though, I really did need to figure out long term plans. I wasn’t sure if that exact moment was an ideal time for it but it did need to be sooner rather than later. I loved him, and he loved me, that I was sure of. How far we would go with that was the thing. When I pictured the future in my head, it was with him by my side, but he was a fucking _satanic rock star_ for gods sake. He would be on tour, away, god knows where for extended periods of time. There was also the _tiny_ little fact that he was a fucking _immortal being_ , and I was most certainly _not_. It was something that would be very hard to explain to my family, especially with how distant I’d been from my own parents the past almost 8 years since I decided to pursue a rodeo career instead of finishing college like they wanted. 

Sarah’s hand waving in front of my eyes broke me out of my internal debate. 

“Hey, earth to Lyza, you still in there? I think your date just pulled up?” 

Seconds later there was a knock on the door, and Sarah jumped up to get it before I could. The door opening revealed a very nervous looking Copia, hands clasped behind his back, dressed in tight black pants I was sure were the ones he wore on stage, and a crisp black button-down shirt. He looked damn good. 

“Hey Copia, looking good, Lyz is in there, she was having an existential crisis for a minute there, but she’s snapping out of it now, I think.” Sarah greeted him with a laugh, and his nervousness changed to worry. I stood, putting on my vest and grabbing bag before pushing my way by Sarah. 

“I’m fine Copia, and uh, what she said, you look good.” I nodded as I spoke, and I could feel his eyes giving me a once over to be sure. He had yet to say anything, so I filled in. “Soooo, you ready to go?” 

He blinked, still just staring at me. “I eh, yes, yes.” He still hadn’t moved from where he stood in the door and I cocked my head at him, raising my eyebrows expectantly. He then shoved a small bouquet of flowers into my hands. “These-These are for you?” His sentence coming out as a question made me giggle. 

I thanked him and his eyes widened as I stretched up to gave him a quick kiss, taking the flowers and going back to find a container. Sarah was following me with a knowing look in her eyes. I pointed at her before she had the chance to say anything this time. “You shut your mouth, Sarah.” 

“I didn’t say anything!” She shrugged, laughing at me, leaving poor Copia utterly confused, having not been privy to the conversation that went on just minutes before he arrived. “Whatever, y’all get out of here, have a good time, I’ll get everyone fed in a bit so don’t worry about being back in time.” She waved from the door like a parent watching their child leave to go to prom, but she was just a couple of years older than me.

I had an uncomfortable feeling of deja-vu as we walked to the car, arm in arm. It was almost the exact same action and sequence of actions as the night of the crash. I felt my heart begin to speed up as the car sped down the drive and wondered if this was how Copia felt when his attacks started coming on. I squeezed my eyes shut and concentrated on filling my lungs at a controlled pace in effort to throw my brain off course and try to stop the panic that was setting in. We turned the corner onto the two lane highway and suddenly I could hear my heart racing in my ears, my mind playing and re-playing the sequence of memories I had from that night. The pain, the jostling of the car rolling, and the blank look in Copias eyes as he lay motionless across the wheel. I barely even registered my boyfriends hand taking mine and squeezing it tight as he worked on pulling over. I heard his voice, but my mind would not comprehend what he was saying. Every little sound was louder than it should have been. Somewhere in the noise I could swear I heard someone calling my name frantically. 

“Lyza,” 

“Lyza, you’re okay,” 

“Lyza, come back to me, please”

The nagging of the familiar voice slowly started pulling me from the panic, and as I gasped for breath, I realized we were pulled off of the side of the road, and the passenger door was open. Copia was kneeling in front of me, one hand in one of mine and the other on my shoulder, trying desperately to get my attention. He looked seconds away from an attack himself. 

My mind finally completely back to the present, my eyes met his. “I-I am so sorry, I don’t know what came over me.” Now that the adrenaline was beginning to fade, hot tears welled up in my eyes and eventually fell down my face. Not only did I feel terrible for scaring him, I also ruined his plans for the night, the last night we would see each other for months. I only felt like that once before, back in the hospital when I first woke up. It had been months, I thought it was a one time thing. Evidently I was wrong. I tried to speak through the tears still falling, “I am so sorry, I fucked the whole night up.” My voice came out as a pathetic squeak.

He shook his head and pulled me tightly against his chest. I buried my head against his neck as I listened to him speak. “No tesoro, it is not your fault, you didn’t do anything wrong,” he was pressing soft kisses into my hair, now rocking me slowly as best he could in the awkward position. “I should have thought of the long term effects of that night, please forgive me.” He stayed right where he was, holding me tightly, until my breathing had calmed and the tears faded away. “D-do you prefer to stay home tonight? I can- I can take you back to the apartment? Or do you prefer to go to dinner still? Anything is completely fine with me, I promise.” 

As much as I hated to say it, I was exhausted now, and going out in public like this did not sound at all like a pleasant experience. I felt terrible, but I told him as such, apologizing profusely as I did. He swore up and down that he did not mind at all, that he was just happy to spend time with me, but I could tell he was at least a little disappointed as he piloted the car back to his apartment. 

Once we got home he opened the door for me like always, and reached an arm around my waist, holding me to him as we made the short trip from the car to his unit. It seemed my episode had switched on an overly attentive mood in him as he guided me to the dresser in the bedroom and began carefully taking the bobby pins out of my hair for me, making quick work of letting it out of the bun. I wasn’t sure if I was thankful or a bit annoyed at his hovering, doing practically every single possible thing he could to get me ready for bed. I knew he was doing it to try to take care of me like he always did when he was worried, but it really wasn’t necessary. I also knew it made him feel better to keep his hands and thoughts busy when he was like this, so I decided to keep my mouth shut and let him. 

Several minutes later found me fully dressed for bed and sitting on the sofa in the living room, Copia again kneeling in front of me, both hands on my shoulders as he spoke. 

“Try to relax now, I’ll have dinner ready shortly so you can get some food in your stomach, it will help. Your favorite is macaroni and cheese, isn’t it?” His voice soft as he asked, he really was trying his best to make me comfortable and cheer me up and although he was going a bit overboard, it was sweet. 

“You know me too well.” I gave him a small smile, which he returned and surprised me with a quick peck on the lips before he stood and got to work in the kitchen. 

I watched him from my place on the couch as he shredded a big block of cheese with a look of concentration on his face. He rolled up his sleeves as he cooked, stirring together the butter and flour needed to make the roux for the sauce. My mouth was already watering, anticipating the delicious taste of made from scratch cheese sauce. I couldn’t even remember the last time I had anything other than the powdered cheese box version of the dish. An idea popped into my head and I found myself searching through the fridge for a package of bacon. Copia noticed me there within seconds and soon was standing behind me, one hand on the small of my back. 

“What eh- what is it you’re looking for, darling? I can get it for you if you tell me what it is?” He offered right as I located what I was searching for. 

I held up my find to show him, “Do you like bacon mac and cheese?” 

He turned back to give the pot already on the stove a stir, “I haven’t- I’ve never actually had it together now that I think about it, but I can cook that too if you’d like?” 

“No, no, I’ll do this, you’re already doing the biggest part.” I pulled out a pan and turned on the burner, “just scoot over a little, don’t wanna get splashed with the grease, you know?” 

“Right, right.” His eyes followed me for a few seconds, as if making sure I was okay doing it myself before he went back to stirring and sprinkling in the cheese. We ended up dancing around each other like we had been doing it forever there in his small kitchen, somehow without knocking into anything, as the smell and sound of sizzling bacon filled the air. Copia finished his part of dinner before the bacon was done and turned off the heat to his pot, and disappeared into his room. I gave the bacon one last flip then took it from the pan to give it a quick chop before dumping it into the pot. By then Copia was back, now lighting candles and setting them out on the table. It took me a minute before I realized he was doing it to make dinner as close as he could to what to our date would’ve been if I hadn’t screwed it up. He caught me watching him and came back over, taking my hand. 

“I know it’s silly, but it’s the best I can do in this situation.” He led me to the table and pulled out the chair for me before returning with two wine glasses and a  really  old-ass looking bottle of wine and poured us both a glass. I took a sip. It was amazing. 

“This wine is delicious Copia, I almost hate to drink it!” 

He set a big bowl in front of me before joining me at the table with his. “Only the best for tonight, eh?” A smile grew across his face as spoke, taking a bite of the pasta as I did the same. 

“Oh my god Cardi, I don’t know how the  _ fuck  _ you made this so much better than any other time I’ve had this in my life, but this is  fucking amazing!”  I squeezed out between bigger than they should be bites. He blushed at the compliment, but didn’t divulge any secrets. 

Having slurped up my bowl in a matter of minutes, I was now making small talk with Copia and enjoying the wine. I already felt much better.

——

Cleaning up the kitchen after dinner took only a few minutes with the both of us working on it together. It was still not late enough to sleep yet so we decided on a movie before bed. As I was curled up against him, my head on his shoulder and his arm around me, I thought of how right life felt in that moment. I wished we could stay there forever, and that he wouldn’t be leaving when the sun came up in the morning.

“I’m gonna miss you when you’re gone, you know?” I stretched up to give him a quick peck on the cheek.

He brought up a hand and brushed my hair back behind my ear, a sad smile on his face. “I will miss you too, tesoro, but it will only be a couple of months this time.” His hand now cupping my cheek, he leaned down and dropped a soft, loving kiss on my lips before pulling back slightly to reassure me, “As soon as we pack up from the last venue, you know I will come visit.” We shared a few more kisses, holding each other tightly before breaking away again.

There was another fact I’d been trying to erase from my brain. Now that his class was over, he would be expected to be back at the church much of the time. And the church was much further than his apartment to my house. It wouldn’t be practical to continue seeing each other as much as we had been over these past several months. Thinking of this made my heart sink, pulling me down from the blissful high of a few moments ago sharing sweet kisses with the one I loved more than anything. 

I looked down, sighing. “It won’t be the same.” My sadness making itself known in my voice. 

He looked at me with concern, neither of us really paying attention to the movie anymore. “What won’t be the same, tesoro?” 

I sat back, more than likely looking like pouting toddler who did not get her way as I explained. “You won’t be  here.  I won’t see you every day anymore. I won’t get to spend the nights with you anymore, or talk with you and share a home with you, it will all be different.” As pathetic as it was, I almost felt like crying as I spoke. 

My sadness now spread to him like a contagious disease, he looked down at his hands. “I am sorry my dear, I would do anything to change that. Please believe me when I say I do not want to be apart from you any longer than absolutely necessary.” He took both my hands in his and fixed me with a dead serious gaze. “I love you more than anything or anyone else in this world, and any time that I can spend with you- it is pure joy. It makes me happier than you could ever know.” He pulled me into a hug and pressed a kiss to my forehead. “I will do my best to try to figure out a solution, this I swear to you, and you are always more than welcome at the church. Even if I am out on tour still, Papa will be there if you need anything, even if it’s just company.” 

He was quiet for a moment, thinking before a quiet ‘Ah’ came from his mouth. He held up a finger and stood, going to the key hook by the door and bringing back his keys. He flipped through them, removing two from the ring and handing them to me. “Here. These are for this place and my room back at the church. You are welcome to use both whenever you would like.” 

I nodded, watching as he set the keys on the table and pulled out his phone and gesturing for me to get mine out too.

“This is Papa’s number, if you need help with anything here, text him. He promised me he would keep an eye on you while I’m gone, and if it happens to be a time when he is unable to come, he will send Omega.” 

I typed the number into the contacts of my phone as I tried to remember if ‘Omega’ was someone I should know. Coming up with nothing, I asked, “Who is Omega? Do I know them?”

Copia shook his head. “No, I eh, I don’t believe you would have met him. He is one of Papa’s most trusted ghouls. Played guitar when he was touring.”

Suddenly remembering something I’d been meaning to ask I looked up at him. “Oh, hey I keep forgetting to ask, but I’ve been wondering ever since you brought Dew to fix my truck. Why do you refer to some ghouls as ‘yours’ and now some as ‘Papas’ like they’re y’all’s... I don’t know, pets or something?” 

He chuckled, “They are _not_ pets, and please refrain from calling them pets in front of them, they would probably not like it. I speak of them that way, and the other members of the clergy speak of them that way because they do, in a way, belong to us.” 

I did not understand what he meant by that at all, “What?” I asked in confusion. 

“Each of the upper clergy is able to summon, or at least attempt to summon their own group of ghouls, bringing them up from Hell. Traditionally, very few of them actually do, either from fear of fucking it up and ending up with a rouge demon tearing through the surface, or just not wanting to have to keep track of them. Most of the ghouls you’ll see at the church belong to the other Papas and myself, who brought them up to play in the band and assist with the things that need to be done around the church grounds. Mine are the ones you see with the mask like Dew, Papa’s are similar but their mask comes to a point at the chin, Antonio’s and Primos are the ones you’ll see with hoods. But to answer your question, I refer to some ghouls as mine because I was the person summoned them from Hell, so they are bound to me in a way.” 

I tried to process this new information for a moment, not sure how I felt about my boyfriend being able to literally summon beings  _ directly from hell _ to serve his needs, but decided it shouldn’t even shock me anymore. He was a horseman and a leader in the satanic church after all. I just nodded. “I see.” 

“And eh... speaking of my ghouls, here are there numbers as well, just in case you can’t reach me for any reason.” 

He scrolled through, giving me numbers for a whole list of ghouls: Aether, Dew, Swiss, Mountain, Rain, Cirrus, and Cumulus. As I typed them all into my phone, putting the purple devil emoji next to each of their names, I thought about how I had no idea how I would tell them apart, aside from the different masks the two ghoulettes wore, and maybe Dew, since I had met him before. 

“Aether and the ghoulettes will be your most reliable choice if you need something urgently.” He explained as well, citing the fact that those three were least likely to be found getting into shit they weren’t supposed to be, and tended to stay closer to him instead of popping between the surface and hell on a whim.

We laid in bed that night, him on his back with me curled against his chest as usual, the hand on my back mindlessly tracing up and down my spine as we had done for many nights now. I found myself thinking of the day again. He always made sure to take care of me. The way he comforted me on the side of the road, cancelling his second attempt at the dinner he asked to take me to so long ago without a second thought, the way he always did his best to make sure I was happy, the way he always made me feel loved no matter what. It nearly brought tears to my eyes. I was touched at the amount planning he had done to make sure I was taken care of before he had to leave. It was obvious that he truly cared about me more than anyone ever had, and in that moment, it became obvious to me that if he was as happy as I was in this relationship, I wanted to stay with him as long as I possibly could. I’d fallen for him hard and fast. Faster than I ever imagined I could fall for anyone. It both excited me and scared me. 

Sarah’s question from before came to mind. It brought up a question of my own, which I figured would be different than the rules of the Catholic Church being that he was a member of a Satanic one, and they didn’t seem to care for restrictions like that, but I needed to know. I looked up at him. His eyes were closed, but I knew he was still awake from the slow movement of his hand on my back. 

“Copia?” 

He opened his eyes, looking down at me “Hmm?”

“Do the higher ups in the Satanic church get married? Like, are they allowed to?” I asked shyly, not sure if I was wording the question right. 

I was relieved that he didn’t seem to take my question for any more than simple curiosity. “They can, yes. Most of them just choose not to though, the churches encouragement of the celebration of lust, it eh, it doesn’t tend to lead to” one hand came up and waved in the air a bit as he searched for a word,“...monogamy.” 

_ Well that answers the question of if he can at least.  _

The answer made me both relieved and nervous though. He had said  most , but not all, which was a little bit comforting, but I couldn’t stop myself from asking. “Is it- is it the same for you? The- the- many partners to celebrate lust thing?” I felt my face burn, and I was sure he must have noticed it as well. 

“No, I simply have never been one to- I mean, over the years there have been eh... a couple of partners for eh, specific ritualistic purposes, it is a satanic church after all,” it was his turn to blush, his face reddening enough to see it in the dim moonlight in the room, “but no one- none were any more than that. Before you, it was centuries since I have even shared a kiss with another, not since- not since my ex-fiancé left me.” He finished sadly.

I let out a small sigh of relief. I couldn’t care less how or with who the other members of the church chose to live their lives, and I really couldn’t fault Copia if he chose to live that way as well, it wasn’t my decision to make and if it made them happy they should go for it, but I was glad he and I seemed to share the same mindset of wanting a single,close partner.

My thoughts were interrupted by Copia suddenly pushing himself up to his elbows, looking down at me intensely, the look on his face giving away his nerves about whatever he was fixing to say. 

“Why- what- what brings this up? Are you... d-do you... want... to?” He trailed off, seemingly unable to get any more words out than that. 

“Uh, just something Sarah brought up before you picked me up earlier, and do I want to what?” 

He just dropped back against his pillow in response and I laid back against him again. I could feel his heart racing underneath me. “You okay? Your heart sounds like it’s about to beat out of your chest?” I asked him, a little worried that he hadn’t spoke again yet. 

“Fine, I’m fine, my-my thoughts were just- it’s nothing, don’t worry about it.” He leaned down and pressed a kiss to my hairline, “Get some sleep, tesoro.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So there’s one more after this of the ones I got written already so after that the chapters might slow down a bit just so y’all know :( 
> 
> I can’t believe ive already managed 50k words especially since it’s done exclusively in the notes app on my phone 😅
> 
> But anyway thank y’all for reading! <3


	23. Chapter 23

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lyza gets an invite, and a brief appearance of Special Ghoul

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kinda short one :/ 
> 
> Thanks for reading!

It had barely been three weeks before I found myself in a nondescript SUV, speeding towards the church. Papa knew I was feeling lonely from our texts ever since Copia left so he invited me to the church for a few days. As it turned out, I’d also been lucky enough to win a couple of local jackpots and a rodeo over the past couple of weeks so I could afford missing a few days of work. It worked out perfectly. The car ride was actually not awkward either. Papa had sent a ghoul who I’d learned was named ‘Special’ to pick me up, and he handled much of the conversation, at least what he got out in between jamming out to every ABBA song on his playlist as we drove. He told me my accent reminded him of when they were trying to get a choir to sing a part on Papa II’s album when said choir turned them down after reading the lyrics. It made it sound like he should’ve been the Seconds ghoul, but his appearance matchedthat of Papas. When I asked he simply said his summoning was a “group effort” so he just went with whoever was in charge at any given time. 

  
Papa was already waiting at the doors of the church when we arrived, how he knew exactly when we would be there I had no idea. He greeted us with a broad smile on his face. He was wearing his robes and mitre again, and if it weren’t for said smile on his face he would’ve made himself quite the imposing figure when he spread his arms wide before beckoning me into a hug by flicking his hands towards himself, breaking at the wrist. 

“Lyzaaaaa! It’s very nice to see you here today, good to be back at my church, yes?” 

“Yes, Papa, thank you for inviting me,” I tried to mumble, but the fabric of his chasuble was close to suffocating me so I’d be surprised if he understood. I tried to wriggle myself free, “Papa- Papa your robes are choking me, let go!” I managed to get out through a laugh. 

He stepped back, releasing me. “Sorry,” he giggled, seemingly in a very good mood today. “You will be staying in Cardi’s room, yes? I’ll get a ghoul to take your bag up, going up all those fucking stairs is  shit ,” Winking at me as he led the way inside, he added, “That is why he has the thighs though, I think. They are very nice, no? Always running up and down those stairs with books and other miscellaneous bullshit.” 

I laughed, “I mean... I guess, yeah.” 

He led me through the halls of the church, talking excitedly almost non-stop about whatever subject happened to pop into his head in the moment. To be honest, I ended up tuning him out part of the time, just taking in the beautiful architecture and stained glass windows of the church. As we walked, I noticed the difference in the ghouls that Copia had told me about now that I was paying attention for it. None were his ghouls obviously, since they were with him on tour, but I saw another of Papas that he asked to take my bag up, one that had a pointy black mask and hood, and even one that didn’t seem to have a face at all, only eyes that seemed to glow like a cat at night. 

“Are you listening Lyza?” Papa stopped by a double door, looking at me with an eyebrow raised. 

I had not been, and I struggled to think of a way to say so without sounding rude. “I uh-“ 

“Ah, both of you do the same thing, I talk, you zone out and pretend to listen, I ask if you heard me, you make that face,” he laughed and pointed at me, “I catch you  _not_ listening. ” He was right, but he didn’t seem upset about it all, just teasing me. “Anyway, I was asking if you were hungry? The kitchen makes whatever Papa asks for, eh? What do you like to eat?" 

I wasn’t hungry until he mentioned food, so I hadn’t even thought about it yet. “Whatever, I’m not picky.” 

He shrugged, and busted through the doors to the kitchen, his arms spread wide as he addressed the sisters there, who had jumped to attention as soon as they noticed who it was, trying to inconspicuously fix their hair and straighten their habits. 

“Ah, hello my beautiful sisters of sin! Would you be so kind as to make your Papa and Cardi’s friend here some of that delicious pasta you served a few nights ago?” I rolled my eyes as he brushed his own hair back, obviously flirting with them, and they were eating it up, nodding enthusiastically. He kissed the nearest one on the back of her hand and she looked like she was about to faint. 

_Oh lord, no wonder his head is so big, everyone here is falling over themselves to even just interact with him._

——

Papa insisted on eating outside on one of the churches’ balconies that overlooked the expansive garden, which I had no issue with, it was a nice day. 

“So,” he spoke between bites, “Cardi tells me you’re a horse girl? That you are very good at it, no?” 

I nodded, finishing chewing before I tried to talk, “I compete in breakaway roping and barrel racing, but I don’t know if I’d say I am ‘very good’, if I was I’d be doing that professionally full time, not working as a waitress and living in a shithole of a lease.” 

Papa cocked his head, “Cardi  also tells me you  _did_ do it professionally, whatever that means, and you just stopped because of a fire and a broken truck, that if I remember correctly, I had a visit from that little gremlin fire ghoul of his to charge the battery for, no?” 

“Uh, yeah, I was starting to, but then shit hit the fan, you know?” I took another bite. “And I need to thank you for that by the way, now that the truck is back in action I’ve been able to go to a few rodeos locally and pick up a few checks.” 

“No no, no need,” he snapped his fingers and an arc of static filled the space between the gold nails of those weird gloves he was still wearing even as he ate, “it is no effort for me, eh? Very easy.” Copia had told me about his ability to do that, but seeing it in person was different than simply  hearing about it. He laughed at the shocked expression on my face before he closed his hand and continued, “Make sure you tell me anything my church and I can make your life easier, yes? You make one of our own happier than I have seen him in years, maybe ever, so we return the favor?” 

“Unless you have a way to magically make my lease less of a shit property, I don’t think there’s anything more you can do for me. You’ve done more than enough already, sponsoring that class, helping me after the accident, bringing me here for a visit, it’s all already way more than I could ask for, and I thank you for that.” I told him sincerely, the church really had done a lot. Without them I’d be drowning in hospital bills from the accident right about now, not finally getting back to doing what I loved. 

The anti-pope brought his fingers up to his chin, tapping slowly like he was deep in thought. “We can help you with that too, I think. I will figure something out and we will make it work, no?” He asked, then immediately answered himself. “Of course we will, I am Papa!” 

_ Damn, if only I could have that kind of self esteem. _

After returning the dishes to the kitchen, he gave me a brief tour of the abbey, explaining things as he went. It was something I had missed out on the first time I was here, so I was glad to finally learn some more about the place where my boyfriend lived and worked. We even met one of his brothers, well  _saw_ one of his brothers, a bald man in aviator sunglasses, in passing as Papa flipped him the bird with a “What are you looking at,  stronzo?” 

I asked him if they didn’t get along, but he insisted that they did, but I wasn’t sure if he was just saying that or if he really meant it. I figured I’d find out eventually. Maybe I’d ask Copia later if he had time to talk. Most nights he couldn’t, and when he could he was already in bed on the bus, and would knock out after a few minutes. I couldn’t blame him though, it had to be exhausting to be on tour. Now following Papa up to Copia’s room, an idea came to me. 

“Hey Papa?”

He just hummed and continued walking. 

“Is there any way I could go see a show? If not, I understand, I’m sure there’s a lot going on and stuff but, would it be possible? I’d buy a ticket.” The idea was talking off in my head. I’d make my way to wherever they were, watch the show from the crowd, and if I was lucky, I’d have Papa or one of Copia’s ghouls take me backstage to surprise him when it was over. 

Turning to me, head tilted and one eyebrow raised, he replied, “Missing him that badly, eh?” Clicking his tongue, he continued, “You really think Papa would make you pay? I am wounded!” He was now pretending to clutch at imaginary pearls, his hand up by his neck and feigned outrage on his face. 

I laughed, “It would only be fair! And there’s the transportation issue too, Omega brought me here so I’d need a ride to the airport, you know? I can at least give y’all something for the trouble!” 

We reached Copia’s room, and I plopped myself onto his bed, Papa standing just inside the doorway, waving his pointed finger at the ceiling as he spoke. “No, no no, that is not what we do for family, and you will be like my ah.... _cognata_ soon enough, I think.”

I hadn’t heard that one before so I tried to stop him to ask what that meant, if he even knew the English translation. He did sometimes seem to have trouble with it. “Papa I don’t speak Italian, I don’t-“ 

He cut me off, continuing, “Ah, neither do I,” his hands clapped together, which didn’t make much sound through his gloves, “Okie dokie, Papa will make arrangements, and you my dear, no worrying, we will get you there, yes?” He was halfway back out the door now, waiting for a response before the rest of his body disappeared through the doorframe. Not sure what else I could say to that I just nodded, giving him a thumbs up and a small smile before he stepped the rest of the way out, letting the door fall shut behind him and calling back a goodnight from what sounded like halfway down the hall. 


End file.
